5 days have passed since 2022, what are your memories about 2021?
A lot has happened this year. Trying to encapsulate the past year in a theme is difficult, and like every year we spend, there are good things and unavoidable pain, similar emotions, and new thinking and changes.
Psychology, on the other hand, focuses on the specific person behind the event, the true feelings within a person.
That's our original intention in making this summary: no matter what happens, we want you to respect your feelings and leave room for it. This is the freedom that psychology brings us.
01
Sudden death of Pinduoduo employees:
Between "high-strength inner roll" and "roll without drying", there are other possibilities
On December 29, 2020, a 23-year-old Pinduoduo employee died suddenly on his way to work, once again triggering internet condemnation of the deformed overtime culture.
Behind the discussion, there are more "hit workers" who are in a state of high load.
When "inward volume" becomes an unavoidable reality, we try to reflect on the reasons behind busyness on a psychological level; when "stepping out of the comfort zone" becomes the only right choice, we find that the deep relaxation of "walking into the comfort zone" is a more scarce ability.
And here's what you can learn: we've introduced 5 holistic principles of relaxation and 3 actionable general techniques to help you find peace of mind and body and leave time and space for your inner self.
Being alive is not a game, being alive is sometimes the moment, it's your feelings themselves.
02
Excellence is not a privilege to be loved, and every "ordinary" has its value
In March 2021, a Douban group called "Ordinary Learning" was established, and 43,483 "ordinary people" have been gathered so far. By sharing their own life experiences, they reflect on the evaluation system with "perfect" and "excellent" as the core, learn self-acceptance, and how to be a precious and happy ordinary person.
We listened to the path in the group tell their own story:
How a 985 student, who is accustomed to getting high scores in various tests and sleeping only four or five hours a day, accepted his ordinary and actively pressed the pause button of life.
When her depression was at its worst, she wrote a suicide note and was found by her classmates on the way to the rooftop, after which she met her current boyfriend and discovered that a person was not loved for being "excellent".
This is a story of a value system slowly loosening and collapsing and rebuilding, and only by breaking that single standard can we see richer options and a more diverse "way of being ourselves" that could have been more diverse.
03
Qingming Festival: How do you hope to spend this life?
On April 4th, Qingming Festival, we shared a small poem with you.
This is actually a way of embracing commitment therapy (ACT) to help clarify values: Imagine yourself standing at the end of your life, looking back at your life, what do you want it to be?
Now, what can you do for it?
So do it today.
04
Under the "three-child" policy, there are 7 psychological facts that women do not want to have children
On May 31, 2021, the afternoon when the "three-child" policy ignited the circle of friends, an online vote by Xinhua News Agency showed an overwhelming result.
The economic and social environment is changing, and we look inward to explore whether people's psychological environment has also changed.
Through literature review and a small interview with counselors, we found 7 psychological facts about women who "don't want to have children":
1. The strongest cause: the desire for independence and personal freedom.
2. Postpone childbearing due to career development or other reasons.
3. Anxiety about parenting: Don't know how to raise children, worry about being alone in the parenting process.
……
When a woman says , " I don't want to have children , she's most likely serious. The freedom to procreate, including the will not to have children, is seen and respected.
05
Under the rainstorm in Henan, 8 psychological care guides
In July this year, Henan was hit by a heavy rainstorm, and we compiled a "psychological care guide" from the disaster to help everyone maintain their inner stability in the voice of help and rescue.
This guide includes:
1. Emotional and psychological symptoms that a rainstorm may bring, and when it is necessary to seek support from a psychiatric/psychological counseling.
2. As a friend of the victims, how to provide effective support and take care of yourself.
3. How do I talk to my children about flooding?
4.8 mental self-help tips that can be used immediately.
"Coping with disasters" is a very important ability, and "coping with psychological problems in disasters" is an important part of it.
I hope you are all safe, and I hope we don't forget.
06
At the Tokyo Olympics, women can have a lot of looks
On August 1, 2021, in the women's shot put final at the New National Stadium in Tokyo, world number one Gong Lijiao won the first Olympic gold medal in the history of athletics for China with a personal best of 20 meters 58.
After the game, an interview with her annoyed a lot of people. The reporter asked her, "When do you plan to be a girl and be yourself?" Ask her about her mate selection criteria and ask her to imagine a boyfriend "breaking his wrist" with himself.
It's strange that a world champion, just because he's a woman, is asked after the game not about the game, but about his looks and emotional life.
We want to point out this "questioning trap" and the overly pervasive and invisible gender assumption behind it, see it, break free of it, and then change it.
Gong Lijiao doesn't have to "be a girl back", and you don't have to. Girls can have many, many looks.
07
Ali Sexual Assault: There is a kind of violence called "he drank too much"
On the evening of August 7, 2021, a female employee of Ali posted an 8,000-word long article saying that she was forcibly drunk at the work meal and molested by merchants, after which her direct supervisor entered her room 4 times and was suspected of sexual assault.
"Liquor bureau culture" has become the focus of everyone's discussion, as well as the "rape culture" that is not easy to detect, such as:
For the sexual assault itself, the focus is more on "teaching women how to avoid being raped than teaching men not to rape."
I hope that reflection and resistance will not stop at a moment.
The responsibility for sexual assault should not be borne by the victim.
No one in the world should be treated that way.
08
Female passengers of the Xi'an subway who were pickpocketed, women who were slighted suffered
On the afternoon of August 30, another hot incident about the "female body": on the Xi'an subway, a female passenger had a verbal altercation with people and was forcibly dragged out of the carriage by a security officer, exposing her body to a large extent.
This is reminiscent of a famous "school strip search case" in Arizona in 2003:
A 13-year-old girl named Sabana Reading was searched for a reported violation of school rules and instructed to strip naked (only underwear remained), and Reading's mother sued the school.
During the April 2009 Supreme Court ruling on Reading, during oral arguments, some male judges downplayed the humiliation the girls felt by strip searches.
As the only female justice in nine courts, Ruth Bed Ginsburg rarely spoke to the media about Reading's case before the verdict was made public:
"A girl at a sensitive age, at this age, whether she is developing early or not yet, will be humiliated by her physical condition.
They've never been a 13-year-old girl. I don't think my colleagues, at least some of them, can understand this."
We tell the story of this female role model who has spent her life telling us: Valuing your pain and fighting for fairness.
09
The "Father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" Aaron Baker Dies: Creating a Better World Through Psychology
On November 1, Dr. Arron T. Beck, the "father of cognitive behavioral therapy," died peacefully in his home at the age of 100.
He has been described by the American Journal of Psychologists as "the man who shaped the face of Psychiatry in America," and in 2019, dr. Aaron Baker, 98, published an article in Psychological Science Perspectives titled "60 Years of Cognitive Theory and Therapy," summarizing his life's academic research. At the end of the article, he said:
"I hope to touch on some of the highlights of my 60 years in psychiatry and mental health with this article. Hopefully, these efforts will demonstrate my commitment to creating a better world by applying the principles of psychology."
Now, there are many counseling rooms every day, where clients work with counselors to solve their own problems and achieve the changes they want with the help of CBT.
Thanks to him.
10
It's Double Eleven again: Can "Buy, Buy, Buy" really make us better?
On Singles' Day this year, we talked to you about PUA advertising, a marketing strategy that uses consumers' negative emotions (anxiety, fear, guilt) to sell things.
It makes you feel like you're never good enough" by preaching a deformed "should."
It reinforces and exploits societal stereotypes of women, puts women in a position to be scrutinized, and deepens facial anxiety.
In addition to being wary and resistant to PUA ads, we might think further:
Can we only be a passive receiver of the various voices around us? Can we actively choose and create the sound we want?
In the new year, I wish you more autonomy in choosing the voices around you and making your own voices heard. Replace blame with acceptance, soothe anxiety with calmness, and create more open freedom with true connections.
Author: Lee Crooked
Editor-in-charge: Kuma
Cover image source: pinterest