Don't let love wither away in waiting

Have you ever had regrets? Ever regretted your choice? And then what? Those choices that make you regret, have you really never done it again?

Walking on the road, an old grandmother caught my eye, and I stopped and thought of my grandmother.

My grandmother had the same kind smile as the old man, my grandmother was the best grandmother in the world, but my beloved granddaughter was an incompetent granddaughter.

Grandma's voice, Grandma's arms, Grandma's face, I found that I couldn't remember anything.

Time slipped away from us, and we stole a lot of things that were not noticed by us, until one day we opened our memories and found that we had lost something. Many times, the precious memories that we buried in the corner are stolen and never found again.

I grew up with my grandparents and didn't build a new house at home, so we always lived together.

When I was a child, I was not in good shape, but I hated to take medicine, and my grandmother always put the medicine in my hand and watched me eat it.

I would play a little clever, when Grandma's house did not use a cup to drink water, it was a kettle with a curved mouth, and I would secretly spit medicine into the mouth of the kettle. What will happen after being discovered, I don't remember.

I'm naughty, I don't stop every day, all kinds of mischievous tricks. In my memory, my grandmother never lost her temper with me, and she was always smiling and squinting. I used to button down all the sofa skins at home, at that time I also loved to play at home, buttoned the sofa skins down and pretended to be cooking, and there were words in my mouth, and now in retrospect, Grandma was really good tempered, and this did not hit me.

When my grandmother left, I was still in high school, and at that time, I was so naïve in secondary school, I always felt that I was too busy to do it, and I felt that I was under pressure to go bald. Obviously in the same city, the distance is not very far, but I rarely go to the hospital to see my grandmother.

I just remember one holiday morning, I ran to the morning market to buy an egg cake for my grandmother, and I also bought a few pancake fruits, and rushed to the hospital to see my grandmother.

Grandma happily showed off to the patient next to her that she had a sensible granddaughter, and now that she thinks back, she can't help but feel sad. My so-called sensible granddaughter has been to the hospital a handful of times, and she has only bought breakfast for my grandmother once.

Grandma was very sick at that time, and the things I bought were not allowed to eat by the doctors. She hadn't eaten anything delicious in years, and Grandpa wouldn't even let her eat sweet potatoes.

There may really be that kind of thing in this world that is just inexplicable, and I have never felt that there will be so-called telepathy between people. But the night my grandmother died, I seemed to be really aware.

It was a normal day, but I somehow felt I should go to the hospital, so I ran away from school at night. Grandma lay in the hospital bed and couldn't open her eyes anymore. I overheard the family discussing the follow-up, and everyone seemed to be ready, even the shou clothes were ready.

At that time, I didn't have a deep concept of life and death, and when I heard this, I couldn't say what kind of feeling I felt in my heart. Although I was sad for my grandmother, who had a tube all over her body, I still thought that everything would be fine.

Returning from the hospital to the dormitory, I don't know why, and my emotions are suddenly out of my control. I couldn't control my tears, I collapsed in front of the bed, thinking about my grandmother all the time, and I had an inexplicable feeling in my heart that I shouldn't leave.

Shadow came back from the evening self-study, saw me sitting on the ground, and comforted me that it would be good to go and see it often in the future. I think it is also, in the future, I must often go to the hospital to spend more time with my grandmother, but I still didn't sleep well that night.

In the early hours of the next morning, before dawn, I received a call from my mother. Grandma died, my dad, he didn't have mom anymore.

At that moment, it was as if I had been cast a fixation, and my heart was flustered as if someone was beating a drum, and my hands and feet were no longer listening to the call. All I think about is how it was last night, how could it be?

My great uncle drove to pick me up, and I stood by the side of the road waiting. Looking at the city that is gradually waking up, there is a feeling of unreality. It was about to dawn, but Grandma would never see her again.

Oddly enough, I didn't seem to have any tears.

I never cried, and when I came home to look at my grandfather hiding in the corner and secretly wiping away tears, it was the first time I felt such a depressing atmosphere.

That day was like making a movie for me, I watched people coming and going, and everyone was busy, doing their own thing. I was in it, but it didn't seem like I was in the same world as everyone else. It turned out that there was really color in people's eyes, and the world in my eyes that day was black and white.

It wasn't until it was dark and there were so fewer people that I offered to see Grandma. Walking to the front of the room, I flinched a little. Uncle was standing by, saw me passing, and slowly lifted the white cloth.

I've never seen a grandma like that. With a copper coin in his mouth, his face turned blue, and for some reason he caused puffiness. I felt my hands shaking all the time, and it wasn't until that moment that I really realized that I had no grandma anymore.

Grandma lay there motionless, didn't get up and told me to sit down, didn't ask me how I was doing, didn't ask me what I wanted to eat. I wanted to go up and shake her, I always felt that I could still wake her up, and the moment that came to my heart was full of unwillingness.

Grandma has not yet seen me go to a good university, I have not had time to take Grandma out on a trip, Grandma has always said that she wants to go home to see, I still want to take her home when I graduate, I have not done anything.

I realized that I would never be able to catch up with time. Just like when I was a child, I always asked my grandmother when my age would catch up with my sister, and my grandmother laughed and told me that I would never catch up.

It turns out that the price of understanding a truth is so great.

Time has given me many opportunities, and I have left everything I can do in the future, but in the future, it has lost its contract.

The next day at the funeral, everyone gathered to discuss the next process. The first time I learned about these things, I thought it was very funny. The person closest to you is gone, but you don't even have to count when you cry. I was a person who didn't know much about these customs since I was a child, and I didn't believe in cows, ghosts, snakes, and gods, but that time, I was really looking forward to it.

I hope that people really have souls, and I hope that Grandma can let me take a good look at them again.

I followed everyone's team and stood next to my father, watching my father reach out to wipe the dust off the spirit card.

It was so close that I saw my dad's hands shaking badly. He raised his hand to wipe a handful of tears, which were the first time I'd seen Dad's tears. For Grandma, Dad was just a kid, my Dad, there was no mom anymore.

Emotions always come suddenly, and go inexplicably. Sadness has not always haunted everyone, everything is still moving forward. Time may be really powerful enough to smooth out everything in our hearts as if nothing had happened. The days that followed didn't seem to be any different.

Only one day, our family of three was driving home and passed a rhododendron mountain. Flowers roam the mountains, and many people take pictures on the mountains. Dad suddenly said: How good it is to buy a car early, your grandmother likes to spend it the most, at that time I wanted to take her to see it, and in the end I didn't see it.

You see, time is not omnipotent, it may really take away many things, but it can never take away the love of this world. It can erase the scar in people's hearts, but it can't remove the scar.

Yeah, if I had known, how could I not have even taken a picture with my grandmother? There was only a picture of grandma and sister and brother on the phone, not even a single photo. After My grandmother passed away, I cut off my sister and brother in the photo, and only kept My Grandmother's face.

But what's the use? All I did was slap myself in the face, and only I knew best, too late.

How many early times do you know that? Not a single one. We always stumbled and never had a chance to start over.

After graduation, I went to Tianjin. Full of thoughts of hard work, the outside world fascinated my eyes, and I forgot my regrets. I made the same choice again.

Until later, when I came home, I saw my father's leg limping. Only then did I learn that during my absence from home, my father had fallen from a cart of several meters. Mom also said that it was fortunate that it was not the head that landed on the ground, otherwise the person would be gone. I chuckled.

What am I doing here?

When Grandma passed away, I had all kinds of regrets, regretting that I always felt that there was more time and putting Grandma in the back; regretting that I didn't go to the hospital a few more times, not buying Grandma a few more delicious things to try, and grandma didn't eat a lot of things; regretting not buying Grandma a dress, not talking to her much.

But it was too late.

Now, I seem to be caught in this strange circle again.

Once read a book that said, you can regret it, but don't regret it.

I was suddenly awakened by my mother's words. I seem to be doing something I regret again. If dad really has something to do, how will I face the rest of my life?

We always think that there is still a lot of time, ignoring the aging body of our parents; we always fantasize about what will happen in the future, and we always can't see the present; we always think about our plans and forget that things are impermanent.

The pressure of survival, the difficulty of employment, the unsatisfactory life, we always seem to have all kinds of reasons to shirk our parents' requests for us to come home.

We all know in our hearts that our parents are slowly aging, and maybe the time left for us is not as much as we imagined, but we just tighten our hearts when we think of it, and after a few seconds, we will return to our original state and continue to live our lives.

But in this world, there has always been something more rare than prosperity, that is, love.

I hope that we can all take some time out of our busy lives to leave for the people we love, don't waste everything in the illusory future, and don't let him wait for the people you love.