Setting goals for family relationships is naturally a good thing. This can help people recognize themselves, identify feelings and physical activity, and find a partner, a partner who is truly suitable for them. However, setting some special requirements for love life can also repeatedly cause extremely painful consequences, expectations are constantly disappointed, and a sense of failure is generated.
To achieve your own goals, how big the requirements are better, there is no fixed principle in the world, anyone can put an afterthought, but in your current place, creating a peaceful atmosphere is an important part of getting happiness.
Here, 4 ladies from all over the United States share how they felt during past relationships, when they were younger than they are now. The gap between expectations and reality is real, so it is indeed a good thing to change yourself.
When you know you're looking for the right person, there's no need to rush into marriage
Katie, 31, Colorado, yoga and Reiki instructor, said: "When I was young, I always felt that when I was in love, I was going to get married, and soon after I got married, I had to have a bunch of kids, which was both superficial and human. I've always had this plan. I've been talking to my boyfriend for over 15 years and I know he's my guy from the moment we meet in the boarding school cafeteria. So many years on, he proposed getting married last summer. Many people ask me why it took so long. I think my answer is always that sentence - you know that you have found the right person, what is the hurry? ”
Soon after getting married, I have a bunch of kids
There are many things that are much more important than material gain
Katie, 28, Conec, Nanny, said: "I'm sure I fell in love with my high school sweetheart, got married, had a big family, had a spacious house, and so on. Looking back now, I feel like I was too ignorant. Originally planned to be in his 20s, he didn't get married until college, but he had a son in high school, and things changed. For a long time, I wasn't alone, but felt lonely. And now I've been patting and dragging, a lot of dragging. Dating pat drag, social pat drag, blind pat drag, and even public auditions! ”
"Every relationship has taught me more, what I want, what I need, and most importantly, what I deserve." The older you get, the less important the material stuff is, like what car your boyfriend drives or what brand of clothes he wears. I'm looking at relationship aspects like how he treats his family and friends, whether he cares about his body, and what his long-term goals are. When I spoke, was he listening? ”
Observe the content of interpersonal relationships
It doesn't matter if you talk to a few friends, no matter how much or how little
Julia, a lawyer in New York, 31, said: "I always felt like I was going to be in love more than once, from my 10s all the way up. Falling in love shows that I have grown up. As a result, one of them talked about ending at the age of 19, and then talked to him and got married at the age of 28. ”
"Being in love means a lot to me, I'm sure I'm going to grow up, but I'm just talking to the same person. I thought I would have children in my 30s, but now that I'm in my 30s, I clearly feel that I should have a choice and have my own opinion about the family. ”
"I always thought that the so-called relationship is a relationship between lovers, which requires dedication and effort. We are both independent and challenging each other, but we also know that we can get the unconditional support of the other. I am full of confidence in myself and my lover, and there are many unknowns and difficulties ahead of us, and I am also very comfortable with this fact. ”
Know to be able to get unconditional support from the other side
Don't be bound by other people's ideals
Dean, 38, Texas, owner of a tea salon, said: "As a kid, I used to watch The Donna Reed Show and I Love Lucy. I imagined Princess Diana as having a grand royal wedding. I want to be a full-time mother, wearing a long skirt, wearing jewelry, operating a vacuum cleaner. ”
"What's the idea? How can a person take a child to fiddle with a vacuum cleaner, clean the house from time to time, his face is spotless, his hair is beautifully done, and his skirt is pearlescent, but he does not let the skirt get dish soap? I found that this was not really my dream, but what I saw on TV. ”
"At 15, I met my boyfriend in high school and got pregnant at 19. I never married my (my daughter's) father, but I had 3 engagement rings. When I was 22, we broke up. ”
"Now things have changed — my happiness is no longer dependent on anyone else, on my own. I got married for the second time. My husband was a teacher, and he also taught me to take care of myself. My wedding was the happiest day of my life – and I don't think I'll ever get married again! ”
The happiest day of my life