Every parent expects to give all his love to his child, expects his child to grow up healthy and happy in his own protection, so that sometimes it is impossible to distinguish what is love and what is coddling, have you ever made these mistakes?
1. Wrong practice 1: Arrange substitution.
Children dress, wear shoes, simply clean up the housework, etc., these are the most basic things that parents have arranged for their children. Parents believe that the time every day is very tight, there is no time for children to grind and rub themselves to do those things, we can save a lot of time.
On the surface and in the immediate future, the substitution of arranged substitution seems to be good for the child, saving the time that parents wait, but in the long run, it deprives the child of the opportunity to practice, so that the child's body and mind can not be exercised, even if the child grows up to have the ability to complete those things, may not develop the habit of completing themselves, and they are not willing to do it themselves, let alone try things beyond their own ability.
2. Wrong practice two: special treatment.
In many one-child families, parents often work hard and are diligent and thrifty. Reluctant to buy things for themselves, but very generous to children, children want to do everything correctly, and they are not very good at teaching children to save.
Over time, children may conclude that "I am a special person" from the special treatment they receive, and are prone to selfishness and do not know how to care about others.
3. Wrong practice three: fear of crying, easy compromise.
Children want to give what they want, because of the child from an early age, children often threaten their parents with "crying, lying on the ground, and not eating" when they want to meet unreasonable requirements. Parents in public, or there are outsiders. In the case of the field, if you want to end things as soon as possible, you will often easily compromise and give in.
In the long run, the child will not know how to restrain his desires, and he will not have the patience to wait for the process of realizing his desires.
Parents' blind compromise will only allow children to grasp the law, the more people are present, the more things, the more they force parents to compromise again and again. Everything should pay attention to a principle, if parents can adhere to the principle, children will also give up unreasonable ideas and practices.
4. Wrong practice four: excessive protection.
In the process of parenting, Chinese parents often make a lot of rules for their children, so that children can listen to their own words.
If the child does not do well, or does not complete according to their own requirements, many mothers have difficulty controlling their impulses, will say cruel words to the child, but afterwards feel self-blame and guilt for their actions.
Many parents unconsciously do anxious parents, causing children to be unfocused, in layman's terms, that is, to give children excessive protection, and complain about children when there are problems, so that children are at a loss.
5. Wrong practice five: indulge in laziness.
Indulge children to eat, eat, live, play and learn irregularly. Do whatever you want, sleep late, don't eat, play games, wander around during the day, watch TV at night until late at night, etc.
In particular, it should be noted that some parents discipline their children well when they are in primary school, and when they reach middle school, they relax the standards for their children, but they do not know that the middle school period is the period when children face the most temptations, and they must adhere to principles.
Long-term lazy life will inevitably make children lack self-motivation and curiosity when they grow up, live well and live well, do things with apes, and have no beginning and no end.
6. Wrong practice six: excessive control.
For absolute safety, parents do not let their children go out of the house, nor allow their children to play with other children. Some children have slowly become "little tails" and cannot leave their parents at any time.
Some parents are absolutely authoritative to their children, emphasizing that children should be obedient and obedient, restraining children with various rules and precepts, interfering with children's personal will, and preventing and stopping children's independent actions.
Parents frequently issue instructions and prohibitions to their children, such as no naughtiness, no trouble, no running, etc. Let them not move this and do not move that, how should they do, so that it is easy for children to lose self-confidence, develop a dependence psychology, lack of independent thinking ability.
7. Wrong practice seven: protect in person.
Sometimes the father manages the child, and the mother protects: "Don't be too strict, he is still young!" Some parents teach their children, and grandma will stand up and speak: "You can't ask for too much, he will naturally be fine when he is older; when you are young, you are far from being as good as him!" ”
Everything is child-centered, and once the child encounters difficulties or demands that are not met, he will get angry and lose his temper.
This excessive "love" not only stifles the child's ability to live independently and self-confidence, but also makes it easier for the child to become selfish and timid.
How can parents get out of the misunderstanding of educating their children?
01 Improve yourself
Parents should strengthen learning, improve the ability to educate their children scientifically, teaching by example is better than words, and parents' every move, every word and deed, affects their children all the time. Don't blindly pursue short-term education goals, but be strict with yourself and set an example for your children.
02 Pay attention to the formation of children's habits
The behavior habits developed by the child in the family are often accompanied by his life, and the good character and behavior habits formed in the family are the cornerstone of the child's achievement in life.
03 Create a warm home environment
A warm and harmonious family environment is very important, and parents should strengthen verbal and emotional communication with their children to ensure that their children grow up in a happy environment.
04 Parenting consensus reached with the elderly
Parents should consult with the elderly at home to reach a consensus on parenting and form a joint force of education, so as to be more conducive to the growth of children.