The years left behind
In order to live, in order to live a better life at home, I had to give up accompanying my children and had to choose to let my children live in the homes of the elderly. In this way, the poor child became a "left-behind child" in the eyes of others.
Birds have a nest and people have a home." For everyone: home is a harbor to feel family affection, and the love of parents gives us infinite warmth. However, our parents have been working outside the home for many years to earn money. So we have a special title called 'Left-behind Children.'
In the world of childhood, there are fairy tales and reality, there will also be a comparison psychology, there will be a strong sense of pride, and the parents are not around, they are like losing the strong dependence and protection, so compared with some parents around the children are prone to inferiority psychological obstacles, some even give up on themselves, lose confidence, learn not to seek progress. Parents go out to make children feel empty and lonely at home, which in turn produces problems such as introversion.
There are also some children who do not understand their parents, think that the family is poor, parents have no ability, only to go out to work, resulting in rebellious psychology, after the parents go home to alienate their parents, resulting in emotional barriers, by the grandfather, grandmother or grandfather, grandmother, the parents who take the children out may be more at ease. However, this type of guardianship has insurmountable problems in the process of children's growth. Guardians often use doting discipline. More material and life satisfaction and too much tolerance and laissez-faire are given, and less spiritual and moral discipline and guidance are given.
The age gap between grandchildren and grandchildren is large, the concepts are different, and there are often great differences in the views of many things, and the "generation gap" is obvious, which is difficult to communicate with each other. Generally speaking, grandparents often use their own growth experience to educate their grandchildren, conservative ideological concepts, and simple educational methods. Children are knowledgeable, like to catch up with the new trend, seek excitement and innovation, do things in an eclectic manner, etc., the concepts and educational methods of the elderly are difficult for the grandchildren to accept. In addition, the elderly are old, have poor energy, poor health, and some elderly people have several "left-behind children" under guardianship, which is really inadequate.
Some children are raised by relatives of their parents, such as uncles, uncles, aunts, aunts, uncles and other relatives. Since the guardian is not his own son, the guardian will inevitably have some concerns in the process of parenting and dare not strictly discipline. In this way, most of the previous generations of guardianship also belong to the material type and laissez-faire type of discipline, and it is easy to develop children's wayward psychological behavior. For more sensitive children, it is easy to have the feeling of sending people under the fence, thus forming a fearful, lonely, and introverted personality.
Because these children live with elderly grandparents, maternal grandparents or other relatives and friends during the left-behind period, the guardians have a low level of education, do not have the ability to tutor the children's learning, and emphasize the education of the children, resulting in the child's learning can not be effectively supervised and guided, most of the left-behind children have poor self-consciousness in learning, the discipline is not strong, there is no good learning habits, passive learning, and poor academic performance.
Due to the lack of sound care and communication emotionally, it is easy to produce psychological disorders. Long-term separation from parents, resulting in left-behind children in daily life can not enjoy the care of their parents, encounter difficulties can not find emotional support from their parents, in the process of learning, life in the process of some mistakes can not be timely guidance, correction, over time, the formation of some obvious psychological and behavioral problems. Such as emotional fragility, self-abandonment, anxiety and autism, lack of self-confidence, pessimism and negativity.
At the beginning of man, nature is good, due to the lack of effective supervision and education, left-behind children are often unable to distinguish between good and bad things and right and wrong, can not correctly look at the problem, are easily affected by negative phenomena in society, and are easy to develop some bad behaviors. For example: often lie, love to talk dirty, disobey discipline, there is a serious hunger and thirst for affection. The soothing and care of family affection plays a vital role in the growth of children. Most of the left-behind children are in a period of rapid physical and mental development, have their own understanding and understanding of their own changes and interpersonal interactions, but also face many aspects of the problems and troubles, need someone to talk to, have relatives to comfort, someone to accompany, after all, blood is thicker than water, there is a blood relationship, in the silent night, children may cry and think of their parents and mothers.
Suddenly, a children's song came to mind: the black sky is hanging low, and the bright stars are with it! Insects fly, insects fly, who are you thinking, the stars in the sky are weeping, the roses on the ground are withering, the cold wind blows, the cold wind blows, I just want to have you with me, the insects fly, the flowers sleep, who can I hold, a pair of beautiful people, not afraid of darkness, only afraid of heartbreak, no matter tired or not, do not care about the southeast and northwest, as long as there is you to accompany.
Childhood without parents accompanying childhood is not a complete childhood, no one wants to leave the country to go out to suffer and suffer, that person is not forced by life to do it, "the road today is the road that does not want the child to go tomorrow," there is time to call the child more, take a time to go home often, more tolerance for their children, a little more understanding, a little more support, more companionship, even if it is not your ideal child, never give up, what is the life of a person, people live to make themselves happy, Make the people around you happy; make yourself happy and make your family happy.