If depression can be "persuaded" to become optimistic, why are so many people unable to get out of trouble?
Have you ever felt that life was going by very slowly, that you were listless all the time, and that sad, morbid thoughts often appeared in your head?
Friends around you want to help you get rid of sad emotions, tell you what to do, tell you various life principles, but you don't feel more comfortable and clear at all.
Is depression a dead end, and it is difficult to find an exit when you walk in?
The state of depression and sadness is like a bottomless well, which is black and oppressive, narrow and dark.
When you sink in, you can only peek out of the hole to the sunlight. During the long days, it is usually better, but at night, you will start to be anxious and helpless.
As one sinks deeper and deeper, you get farther and farther away from the exit, and the light you see gets dimmer and dimmer until the entire opening of the cave is sealed off.
At this time, you fall into utter despair and have the worst thought: end your life.
"Do you have the idea of ending your life?"
If anything, even a fleeting thought is a precursor to depression.
Because, behind these thoughts, is your current psychological situation and self-perception.
Don't run away from your true feelings, it's a mirror, your "self-knowledge" of yourself.
But many people like to avoid self-analysis and refuse to face their true selves.
More often than not, we don't know how to know ourselves and analyze our inner state.
So, we thought of seeking help from external forces to untie our depression.
The precursors of depression are usually inseparable from a few words.
This sentence expresses the denial and doubt of self-ability. You can't control your life and are in a passive state. Perhaps, in your bones, you want to break free from the status quo and are restless, but you are weak inside.
This kind of person is always accustomed to listening to the advice of others, asking for other people's suggestions, and once he lacks the care of his friends, he becomes anxious and allows his own nature and sick thoughts to lead the nose.
They always look happy or funny in front of others. But when alone, it's easy to become fragile and lifeless.
A person with low self-esteem in his heart is always arrogant and self-effacing, and cannot find the value of his own existence.
"Sometimes it does feel like everything is getting better, as if I can actually do something, but then my interest drops, I don't have the strength to do things, and then I fall into the sad emotions that I'm familiar with." 」
This reminds me of Osamu Dazai's "Human Disqualification", the repressive, persistent and sad life of the protagonist Ye Zang.
In the morning, I woke up and rolled over and got out of bed, and became the original shallow and ignorant funny character who was good at disguise. Cowards are afraid of happiness, they are hurt when they touch cotton, and sometimes they are hurt by happiness. Taking advantage of the fact that I was not injured, I wanted to part ways as soon as possible. I released my usual amusing smokescreen.
Ye Zang, who is cowardly and sensitive by nature, is full of fear and uneasiness about human life. The chaos of the world, the coldness of human feelings, the hypocrisy and deception between his family, and the boredom and boredom of campus life all made him feel that he had become an "outlier" in the world and lost his qualifications as a human being.
In the end, he did not hesitate to gamble with his life and put his youth on the experimental table.
People who can't find a way out are likely to do stupid things.
We don't understand why a person with a good year can't think about it, lose the desire to explore the world, and lose confidence in life.
Although the people around you are encouraging you to face life positively and not to moan without illness, these words have almost no effect on you, even separating you from the world by a thick wall.
No one understands your pain, and no one helps you out of your predicament.
Isolated from the spiritual world, one can only escape from suffering.
So, can finding a psychologist solve the problem of depression?
Depression is the heart of a person who is sick. Since you are sick, you must go to healing.
If you don't look directly at your problems, you will never be able to unshackle your pain.
Some people would say that psychological counseling is a bit like catching up with the fashion. It seems that everyone is receiving psychological counseling today, and in the old days, people were uncomfortable and did not pay as much attention as they do now.
Not paying attention does not mean that the problem does not exist.
Everyone's pain cannot be compared, just as you can't truly empathize with what others are experiencing.
However, psychological counseling is not to let others tell you how to do it, but to let yourself find a way out of the pain through your own strength.
Many people talk to the author and talk about their depression and pain.
I'm not a professional counselor, just a tree hole around the reader.
However, many people gradually find the exit they want by talking and venting.
There is a female reader who is tormented by the cold violence in marriage, and her husband's refusal to communicate makes her suffer.
Her husband is more introverted and a stuffy gourd, while she is a more straightforward and tough woman. In marriage, the two people often have conflicts due to small things, and they cannot get good communication and mitigation for many years, and even go to the point of "divorce".
Obviously, both parties are not at fault, so why does the husband insist on divorce? Moreover, he cut off all channels of contact, which made his wife very uncomfortable and painful.
Female readers approached me and asked me what to do?
In fact, I can't provide her with a clear and specific way to deal with it, because I am just an outsider, I can't fully understand the lives of others, let alone substitute my own ideas, and use my own outlook on life and values to "guide others".
At first, she was very impatient, always trying to find a way to "do it specifically to open her husband's heart".
Later, she would talk to me from time to time, all of which were confiding in the trivialities between her and her husband, as well as her own feelings. And I, on the other hand, have been listening to her story and giving her some responses.
It is impossible for a man to suddenly become what he wants.
However, she slowly realized something and began to become positive and rational.
In fact, she understands the truth, but lacks a process of self-knowledge and analysis.
In the process of psychological healing, we are actually an opportunity to know ourselves.
The one who can really help you must be yourself.
"What must be done can only be done on your own." This is the core truth of the path to liberation.
Understand your feelings, know why you are unhappy, uncover the scars in your heart layer by layer, explore the deep self inward, and eventually you will grow, and you will break free from the mud and climb out of the gray hole.
Someone else gives you a rope, just one direction; to really climb up, you must be able to climb up on your own.
Self-healing begins with knowing yourself.
The world is big, and all suffering is small in the face of unknown beauty.
As long as you want to be better, it's never too late.