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You want or don't, the "love" is all there

author:Mingchun mindfulness meditation

Letter from a student

teacher:

There is a question I want to ask, that is, the problems of my parents that I have observed from my point of view before, I will be willing to communicate with them and analyze, and in the past six months, they will also see acceptance from stubbornness every time, but after each communication I will find that they are stubborn to do the same thing over and over again, saying the same thing.

You want or don't, the "love" is all there

In particular, they are very suspicious, and their conjectures and misunderstandings about other people around them are very serious, and many contradictions have occurred because of this, but after communicating for nearly two years, I find that I am tired of not wanting to say anything in the face of this situation now.

I thought to myself, just like that, they have their way of getting along, maybe I'm too paranoid, but I don't know if it's right to think like this.

On the one hand, I want to change them through my own efforts, and on the other hand, I want to break the can and break it without receiving positive feedback. Don't want to change.

Don't know what good advice the teacher has?

Students who feel entangled

You want or don't, the "love" is all there

MingShu replied

My dear:

It's a great thing to want to share what you think is good with the dearest people around you, to desire their happiness, to want them to stay out of danger!

Can always be shared, no problem.

You want or don't, the "love" is all there

Why, then, does such a sharing motivated by "love" end up leading to pain and contradiction?

Because in addition to "love," we add something else to this sharing: the feeling of the boundaries of the self being attacked.

The original intention is good, the reason is good. But the idea that "my opinion is part of me, and if you do not follow my point of view, you are attacking me" leads to suffering. So, in fact, we can try to take the perspective out of the boundaries of the self, like a beautiful gift, to the parents.

I gave you the gift, whether you like it or not, whether you use it or not, that's your business. The next time you need it, I can continue to give you gifts.

In this way, you can gradually remove the painful parts you feel and leave the beautiful parts.

As for how to change from their point of view, there is indeed a feasible way, in the training camp mind, when you learn the later courses, you will understand how to do it. Don't worry, take your time, we'll all be with you! Come on!

I hope you come out of the pain of the clear

You want or don't, the "love" is all there
You want or don't, the "love" is all there

*Author: Ming Shu

* Editor: The little assistant loves to eat taro puree

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