《The Order》
Wuxi County, Jiangnan Province, Lingbu is very powerful and good at teasing. I heard that the newly appointed Yixing County Ling Fang had eloquence and wanted to embarrass him. And Wujin County Ling first thought of a liquor order. When he caught up with the banquet, he raised a glass and said: "Two fires are inflammatory, and the salt of this non-salt sauce is neither the salt of the salt sauce, so why add water to it become light." ”
Wujin County Ling said: "Two days is Chang, this is not the prostitute of the prostitute, nor is it the prostitute of the prostitute, so why should he sing when he opens his mouth?" ”
Fang Xianling said, "It is not difficult for me to obey the order, but I am afraid that I will offend Mr. Bu Lao." ”
The crowd said, "Just say it." ”
Fang Xian Ling said: "The two soils are gui, this turtle that is not a turtle, nor a turtle is a turtle, why should it be a turtle?" ”
The crowd laughed. [Teeth] [Teeth] [Teeth]
The Surgeon's Memory
Painting: Wu Peiliang
1 The surgery is done. The patient woke up and opened his eyes, and said in a clear tone of voice, "Thank God, it went well!" ”
A patient in the 2 adjacent bed listened and said, "Brother, don't be overly optimistic. The doctor forgot the cotton ball in my stomach and I will be forced to open the abdominal cavity again. ”
3 At this time, another patient said bitterly, "I am the same, I am going to have a second operation." The surgeon forgot the forceps in my stomach. ”
4 Just then, the door opened. The surgeon came in and asked, "Have any of you seen my hat?" hat? The patient listened and fainted on the spot. [Teeth] [Teeth] [Teeth]
Idiom "Listen to people through the nose"
The source is "Nanshi Zhang Hongce Biography": "Xu Xiaosi is not a pillar stone, and he hears people through the nose." ”
Interpretation Listen: Let it go; Wear the nose: wear a small wooden stick or small iron ring on the nose of the cow. "Listening to people through the nose", the metaphor has no opinion, at the mercy of others.
Painting: Gu An Weiping
During the Southern Dynasty of Emperor Qiwu, there was a hereditary nobleman named Xu Xiaosi. He was well-mannered and personable, and was appreciated by Emperor Xiao Zhao (ze) of the Qiwu Emperor, and was promoted to the rank of official Shangshu.
In 493, Emperor Wu of Qi died and was succeeded by Emperor Xiao Zhaoye. When Emperor Wu was dying, he asked Xu Xiaosi to assist the heir and govern the imperial government.
The next year, Xiao Luan, the Marquis of Xichang, plotted to seize the throne and sent his henchmen to inform Xu Xiaosi privately. Xu Xiaosi did not even object.
Xu Xiaosi's good friend Le Yu said to him, "How can you rebel against Xiao Luan? ”
Le Yu also persuaded Xu Xiaosi: "When Chu Yuan followed Emperor Gao (Xiao Daocheng) to depose (Song) Emperor Shun, he was still laughed at and scolded until now. Do you also want to follow in his footsteps and be spurned by the world? ”
After Le Yu left, Xu Xiaosi wandered around the house for a long time. He knew that Leyu was right, but he was afraid of Xiao Luan and couldn't make up his mind for a while. At this time, the door reported that Xiao Luan had arrived, and Xu Xiaosi did not feel a chill and got up and went out to greet him.
Xiao Luan walked into the inner hall, drank back, and told Xu Xiaosi the specific steps of usurping the throne, asking him to enter the palace together. Xu Xiaosi pondered for a moment, and finally nodded in agreement.
On that day, the palace was eerily quiet. Suddenly, the general Xiao Chen led his troops into the palace, and then Xiao Luan entered the palace in a military uniform and a red robe, surrounded by Xu Xiaosi and others.
Xiao Zhaoye was terrified inside the Shouchang Hall. Xiao Chen forced him to wrap a plain veil around his neck, walk out of the palace, lead him to the West Lane of the Yande Hall, and strangle him.
Xiao Luan prepared to depose Zhaoye in the name of empress dowager, and set up a fifteen-year-old Xin'an prince Xiao Zhaowen (Zhaoye's brother) as emperor, so that he could gradually replace him. Xu Xiaosi immediately took out from his sleeve the edict of the empress dowager that had been prepared long ago and presented it to Xiao Luan, who was very happy.
In the same year, Xiao Luan killed the descendants of Emperor Qi Gao and Emperor QiWu one by one, and deposed Xiao Zhaowen in the name of the empress dowager, and he himself became emperor, that is, Emperor Qiming.
Emperor Ming died after four years on the throne, and his second son, Xiao Baojuan, succeeded to the throne. Xiao Baojuan was incompetent and tyrannical, and he would kill people as soon as he was not satisfied. Ministers of the imperial court, everyone is at risk.
At this time, Xu Xiaosi had already served as Shang Shu Ling, and he succumbed to the tyrannical king, did not dare to enter the court, and finally could not avoid death. In 499, Xiao Baojuan ordered him to commit suicide by taking poisoned wine.
Xu Xiaosi is in the position of prime minister, but he has no prime minister talent, has no opinion when things happen, and is subject to people everywhere. Zhang Hongce, a recorder who joined the army, commented on his behavior: "Xu Xiaosi is not a pillar stone, and he hears people piercing his nose. ”
"Danger to Me" painting: Feng Guicai
1 There is a person who always asks for two beers in this bar, drinks this one and then another.
2 One day, the receptionist asked him: "Why do you always want two beers?" And don't want a big cup? "I don't like to drink alone," replied the man, "I drink with friends." ”
3 Some time later, the man walked into the bar room and just had a beer.
"Oh, is your friend dead?" The receptionist asked him. "No, he's fine, this glass of wine is what he drank, I've quit drinking." The doctor said that it was dangerous for me to drink again. [Teeth]