A story that comes to an end

Dreamed, and then woke up, at 3:30 in the middle of the night.

In the dream:

I made an appointment with A, with the intention of thinking about not trying. But he brought a girl with him and said it was a girlfriend. After so many years, I now want to wait for a reply from him, and there is a little conflict with the girl's speech in the middle, and in the eyes of the other party, I am provoking. It ends with me saying "I'll wait for a reply" to A, and A saying "I don't want her to be nice, as long as she's cute", and I knew in my dream that I was rejected. I said "sorry" and turned my head to leave. Behind the two of them in conversation with the female "what to do now" A "definitely have to make it clear to her (me) " This sentence I know more clearly that I was rejected in the dream. Then I woke up.

background:

I met A in 2008, and then we were admitted to different universities, the distance between the north and the south, and the 10-year Spring Festival freshman winter vacation class reunion.

In the four years of college, I occasionally chatted and called, the probability was not very frequent, more was that they commented on my QQ content. For four years, I really didn't think the chat and phone call process was that he was pursuing me, and really didn't think about it.

The Spring Festival of 13 years is also the eve of graduation, about B, C and A, a total of four people gathered in their hometown G City. Before that, I also had a Spring Festival date with A. The point is that after this meeting before graduation, B and C said that A liked me, and I thought that A liked C, and that my relationship with A was good friends.

Then half a year later, I graduated in June 13, and both A and I chose to return to N City, after the Spring Festival of 14 years B also returned to N City, and I left N City after the Spring Festival of 15 years. During my time in N City, I met A alone once, and once I had dinner with the three of them. In addition, I have seen about 3 times, all of which are small gatherings, and there are about 7.8 people in total.

In the next 15 years, when the epidemic broke out, there were a few times in the middle. I remember that the gathering of 3.4 people was twice, and A said that he had met alone twice, but the meeting alone was the kind that was withdrawn after eating in a hurry, and I was not at all impressed by the two times he said.

On the National Day of 17 years, I met with AB. On the train, A made it clear that he felt liked me at the 10-year party, and I, I bluntly said that in the four years of college, I did not think that he was chasing me, and said a few points, refused.

A month later, one of the elders I loved was diagnosed with a terminal illness and held out for less than a month, and she left, the kind of departure I couldn't accept, and it took me nearly a year to slowly accept the fact. In the middle, I have cried many times by myself, and even now that I think about it, I still have the urge to cry. I silently made a request to myself: three years, keep filial piety, do not talk about feelings and do not talk about marriage.

In the Spring Festival of 21 years, I invited A to dinner in my hometown of G City, and by the way, I called B, and I personally prepared a gift for A, but in N and G City, it is rarely used to come in handy. After dinner refreshment time and called D husband and wife two, during the chat I knew A found a girlfriend, B, D also ridiculed A why not bring a girlfriend out to meet, A did not reply, in fact, I also with curious A's girlfriend. Before 10 o'clock, A said to buy gifts for D's children, I and B waited for D to drive out and take me home, before A came out, I actually wanted to say that A would come out soon, but I didn't say, everyone didn't wait, and went straight away.

That night, talking to A very late, he kept asking what the gift meant to give him, I felt that I owed him this meal for too long, because the epidemic had dragged on for so long because the usual work location was not possible. Of course this is one reason.

Another reason, I wanted to give myself a chance to try to get in touch, but for this reason, because he had a girlfriend, I could never say it again.

In April, I talked to A for a long time. A blind chat that has nothing to do with feelings, and two meals are owed to A.

The next month, B suddenly asked me if I was going home, I was very strange, I did not go home to do anything, the other day May Day did not see me to go back. B says A married don't you come back? Just tomorrow. I suddenly realized that after I rejected A, I had already been included in the category of familiar strangers, and even more familiar could not use the word, leaving only the people I had known.

And I think that if you don't become a couple, you can be a good friend.

In September, when I didn't know what to do, I asked A Guoqing if I was in G City, and I invited the food I owed. But in the end there was no fixation and no meeting.

For so many years, I have not talked about an object, but I have seen several blind dates, I have seen 4.5, basically I have seen the light dead, and I have not seen only 7.8 weChat chat dead.

Having this dream, what I was grumbling about, was it A who didn't tell himself when he got married? Is it that I have lost a good friend again? Or are you not willing to be abandoned by A?