Text/Ding Nan
Chernyshevsky said that literature and art come from life and are higher than life. This statement is not false at all, take the vast countryside, which is the birthplace of many classic works, and ordinary laborers are the protagonists of these classic works. There are many hilarious and enjoyable anecdotes circulating here, and I will try to sort out a few of them to cover your ears.
One of them: The car started at 4:30 at 4:30
Liu Laogen is a senior party member and old branch secretary of Liu Laozhuang, although he does not know a few big characters, he is honest and capable, leading the whole village to work hard and gradually get rid of poverty.
What made him show his face and scenery the most was that in the xuedazhai movement set off across the country, it did not take two years to create a miracle of grain production of more than 500 catties per mu. Liu Laozhuang suddenly became an advanced model of learning dazhai in the county, and he himself was also rated as a "pacesetter in learning dazhai" and had the honor of attending the advanced commendation meeting held at the end of the year in the county.
Liu Laogen, who had never entered the city, not only received the award in red and flowers, but also opened his eyes and walked around the city. In the afternoon, I estimated the time, reluctantly walked into the bus station, bought a return ticket for the afternoon, and asked the conductor for the departure time.
There were a few waiting people in the waiting room, and he muttered: Half past four, it will be dark when you get home, wait! So he sat down on the bench, his thighs crossed on his legs, thinking of the morning meeting scene, he couldn't help but laugh out loud... I don't know how long later, a soprano sounded in the waiting room: "The car at 4:30 will leave immediately, and the passengers who are ready to get on the bus will line up to cut the tickets." ”
The car drove away, and liu Laogen was left alone in the empty waiting room. He was still sitting there intoxicated, when the soprano spoke, "Uncle, why didn't you leave?" We're going to lock the door and get off work. ”
"I'm not there."
"What just drove away is the last train at the station!" He said and took the ticket in Liu Laogen's hand and looked at it, "This is what I just cut!" ”
"Well, isn't it four thirty that is shouting?" It's half past four! ”
"The same thing!" The soprano had laughed out loud.
Indignant, Liu Laogen walked out of the waiting room and dragged himself away to his home. When he returned home, it was already the middle of the night, fatigue and cold, so that he was seriously ill, and it took half a month to recover. Later, everyone said that the public family would also pit people, obviously the car at 4:30, 4:30 will open, why not wait until 4:50, causing me to walk seventy miles of black road in one night...
Two: There are bad species here
Zhao Laocai was a wealthy man in Northeast Township (in the northeast of Pi County in the old days, now in Tiefu, Gangshang and other places), with a family of hundreds of acres of fertile land, mules and horses, which can be described as rich and oily. However, Fu did not enjoy it for a few days, and when he reached the age of sixty, he gave up and returned to the West. The two sons were very sad and discussed sending a big funeral to their father.
In the countryside, especially in the past, funerals were very troublesome, as the saying goes, funerals are like raiding homes, and poor families don't matter, while rich families, that is very exquisite. The Zhao family is rich and decides to send a big funeral, which means that they are not afraid of spending money, not afraid of others eating, and the more people the better. Except for the people of your own people, other people who do not have relatives should be invited by the filial son to prostrate himself door to door, and you do not invite people to be embarrassed to come. There are many people to be invited, such as the general manager, the internal and external cabinet of the bookkeeper, the cook, the miscellaneous errands, the fire and the bowl, the lifting of the bar and weight... Please come one by one.
Under the command of the General Manager, the funeral of the Zhao family was carried out step by step, and many people came to help, both inside and outside, and it was also lively. From burning the head paper, to the nightly home ceremony; from the mourning of filial piety, to the resignation of the spirit to send the coil... It lasted for half a month, which can be described as orderly and smooth, and the next day was left for the funeral and burial. Filial Piety was very satisfied, and drank a few more glasses of wine that night, and she saw that she was a little drunk.
Da Zong walked into the spirit hall and discussed the funeral matters the next day, and when it came to lifting weights, Da Zong asked Xiao Zi and the two of them to act separately and could not delay. The two filial pieties were drunk and misty-eyed, and the boss said, "I don't see that need, there are so many people these days, and tomorrow there will certainly be no less." The second elder echoed, "Well, I think so, tomorrow morning put the steamed bun basket pancake basket to the end of the door, like a dog, those poor seeds run faster than rabbits." The general manager was displeased, but he did not insist any longer, and only said: "That line, as long as you don't delay the coffin tomorrow morning." Then he threw up his hands and left.
Early the next morning, the screams kept ringing, as if urging, but the sun was dry and there was no shadow. Seeing that the sun was rising high, there were still no rabbits. Xiaozi couldn't stop lying in the spirit hall, and let people call out to the general to discuss countermeasures. The general manager complained: "Look, last night I told you, let you go down please, you insist on not, this is trouble!" The boss said helplessly: "Did someone else hear what was said last night?" The second elder was very angry, slapped the coffin lid hard, and said loudly: "There must be bad species here!" ”
Later, Zhao Laocai's coffin was also buried smoothly, but the phrase "Zhao Heihuo patted the lid of the box - there are bad species here" has been passed down to this day.
Number three: better than death without an aunt
Feng Laoshun usually likes to joke. Although it is getting older and rarer, it still can't change this habit.
When the farm work is not busy, he always runs to the old willow tree at the head of the village after breakfast, and tells jokes with a group of people in the mountains, and bursts of laughter echo in the village, and people say that Feng Laoshun is a living treasure. And those who have been joked about by him have called him old and immortal.
Feng Laoshun didn't care about what others said about him, even if someone opened his eyes and froze with him, he didn't pay attention to it. He said, no way, who let me take this mouthful.
On this day, the weather was very hot and there was no wind at all. Under the old willow tree, there were a lot of cool people gathered. But seeing Feng Laoshun in the crowd with eyebrows flying and dancing, he raised his eyes and saw his good friend Li Laogui coming from the west side of the road. Feng Laoshun raised his voice and shouted, "A dead old ghost, a hot day, go outside to find the dead?" The words did not fall, which caused a burst of laughter. Lao Gui also replied, "You are an old immortal, don't say that you went to the spirit bed last night, why is it that you are still yang again today?" ...... The two of them said nothing to me, not seriously, and caused a burst of cheerful laughter.
After a long time, they stopped. Feng Laoshun asked solemnly, "On a hot day, where did you go?" Li Laogui sighed and said, "Alas, go to Xizhuang to see my aunt." "What happened to Aunt Gong?"
"This is not two days ago, my aunt sent a message saying that my aunt was very ill and took the time to look at it as soon as possible."
"What about Aunt Gong?"
"If you want to destroy, there will be no big life, and you will undoubtedly die."
Feng Lao Shun replied, "Well, that's too right, is there an aunt than death?"
Ha ha......
"An old and immortal ,......"
Later, the phrase "Feng Laoshun's questioning - better than death without an aunt" was passed down.
Fourth: Ermao is right
Mr. Yu Er attended a private school for a few days before liberation, and he could not speak of hyphenation, but he could also read some ancient books in a crooked way. In the 1960s, he became a public clerk in the production team, and because of his serious responsibility, he won the trust of the captain and the support of the members.
Soon, the village (then called the brigade) expanded the village small, and the branch secretary was worried about the lack of substitute teachers. When Mr. Yu learned of this, he volunteered to find Zhishu Mao and introduced himself, saying that he was willing to be a contemporary teacher. After study by the village cadres, he agreed to his request.
Therefore, Mr. Yu Er walked into the school as he wished. He thought it would be more than enough to teach a group of children at his own level, but when he picked up the textbook and walked into the classroom, it was far from what he thought was simple— he couldn't read pinyin. This kind of made him dumbfounded.
Later, he learned from experienced teachers with an open mind, and now he learned and sold, and finally taught the mother rhyme mother with a rolling belt, and he still didn't know anything about phonics. But he found that there was a student named Ermao in the class, a repeat student who had been in the first grade for two years and could spell, so when he encountered phonics, he wasted no time in letting Ermao lead the reading.
In this way, Ermao became Mr. Yu Er's right-hand man and an authority in the eyes of the classmates. As long as Ermao said it, whether it was right or wrong, Mr. Yu Er would encourage him with a sentence of "Ermao is right", so the students also echoed it - "Ermao is right".
One day, the principal quietly walked into the classroom to listen to the class on a whim, and Mr. Yu Er was a little flustered, but considering that there was Ermao in the class, there would be no problem. So he let go of the courage and said that everything was going well. At this time, when it comes to the "look at the picture, and then write Chinese characters according to pinyin" item in the textbook, he first let the students see the first picture, the picture is a spike of corn, and then let the students get up and say, what is this, many students say that it is maize, he further prompted, in parentheses to fill in two words. Or Ermao stood up enthusiastically and said the two words "Jade Mouse" loudly, and Mr. Yu Er said excitedly: "Ermao is right, it's amazing!" ”
After class, the principal calmed his face and said, "Teacher Yu, you will be called Yu Ermao in the future, everything is Ermao is right, why do you want you as a teacher?" ”
”……”
Since then, the name of Ermao has been hung on the head of Mr. Yu Er.
Fifth: What's in bed
Mr. Zou can be described as a teaching authority in the primary school industry. That's because the school promoted heuristic teaching that year, and he deeply grasped it and carried it forward.
He is most famous for an open class in which he lectured to the seniors about Chairman Mao's poem "Sending the Plague God" the second. He enlightened the students: "How many willows are there in the spring wind?" The students answered: There are thousands of willows in the spring wind; "How does the six hundred million Divine State shake?" The students spoke in unison: Shake as smoothly as you can. ...... In this way, the class was vigorously attended and was unanimously praised by the teachers who listened to the class. As a result, he was awarded the title of Excellent Teaching Expert, and was selected as a representative of the local town to participate in the competition and class activities in the county.
Since receiving the notice, Teacher Zou has felt unprecedented pressure. With the assistance of the Reform Group (there was no central school at that time), after carefully selecting teaching materials and trying out lectures, it was finally decided to participate in the Literacy Teaching Competition for the Lower Grade Group.
Although Teacher Zou has experienced many battles, he went to the city to borrow classes to give lectures, which for him, but the eldest girl went to the flower car - the first time, she could not help but feel uneasy.
Finally it was his turn. He took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. The heuristics of the mastery are also played by him to the fullest. The last word left was "quilt", and he lost no time in inspiring: "Which classmate told the teacher, what is in your bed?" Students raised their hands.
He walked up to a student in the second row, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "This classmate would love to answer, let's hear if he's right?"
The student stood up and replied, "Seat." ”
The other students were eager to try, and Teacher Zou called one up again: "Mattress."
Teacher Zou was a little flustered, and further inspired: "What about the mattress?" ”
The whole class brushed and raised their hands.
Teacher Zou found a chubby little boy in the middle with a very high hand, so he gave him the opportunity, and his voice was very crisp: "On the mattress lies mother." ”
Teacher Zou's face was a little hanging, did not let the boy sit down, and patiently asked: "That... What about Mom? ”
The little boy blurted out, "Above is Daddy." ”
Ha ha...... Those who listened to the lecture in the back couldn't help it.
"What about Daddy?" Teacher Zou was already a little impatient.
"Yes... It's Mom's hand. The little boy flashed a pair of big eyes and said calmly.
"What about the hand?"
"Ceiling!" The little boy was determined.
Teacher Zou couldn't help it and said, "What about the quilt?" ”
"On the ground."
……
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