Text: Old Friend Codex Ordinary Psychological Counselor
I have always felt that if there is no sad background, the good is no longer beautiful. Just like Chaplin, Kim Carey, Stephen Chow and other comedy masters who present us with joy, they all suffer from depression.
"Truman's World", "Detective Plane Head", "Stranger in Disguise" I think you have seen it, and I am familiar with their lead actor Kim Carey.
In 2018, when people gradually realized whether this former comedy master had disappeared, he appeared in people's sights, originally from 2015, after his girlfriend Casalina White chose to leave this world, because of the loss of his beloved and depression, he had to choose to fade out of people's sight.
The man who brought us so much laughter and laughter is actually not happy in real life, as he said when he reappeared in people's sights, "Let you down, I am not a happy clown."
Seeing him, I suddenly thought of another movie, which is the very frequently cited "The Life of the Rejected Pine Nuts".
He is so similar to Matsuko, but Matsuko only wants to please a few people, and since he was a teenager, he has to please adults in order to survive, and then slowly to please the audience from the movie.
A lot of movies go down in history because there are really, very many similarities between the characters and the actors. Like 1900, who is not willing to be bound by the world, and Tim Ross, who is unwilling to take over commercial films, and Truman, who is always concerned about people and cannot have his own life, and Kim Carey, who has always lived like this.
1994 was the most successful year of his career. But in this year, his father, who had been supporting and helping him, passed away. When his father was gone, he put the 10 million check in his grave, probably because he knew that the person who knew the real Kim Carey was gone, and he could only become the Kim Carey who could bring happiness, momentarily happy, and not sad in the eyes of the audience.
"I've made a lot of movies that are tragic, but you all say they're comedies," I think you must remember what Stephen Chow said. Yes, his movies are always full of sadness crashing into exaggerated, funny, flattering coats.
Probably Kim Carey, they are all a kind of people, although it seems to be entertaining the public, but it is expressing the inner emotions in different forms, and the price of doing so is to overdraft and even distort their true emotions. I think that's one of the reasons why they all have depression.
Speaking of which, perhaps it is really because of old age, when watching these movies, it is no longer attracted to laugh by the plot, but slowly sees some of the things that it wants to convey, and slowly understands some of the content that the protagonists want to express through the movie. And these things that are shown at the cost of overdraft and distortion of our true emotions are really worth sitting down and thinking about.
This is probably the two days of boredom, and then take out the old movie "Fake God" series to see the biggest insight, of course, this is only the perception of themselves.
But fortunately, this is not a bad thing, because finally I can see some extraordinary things in some ordinary things, and finally I can see some things in some laughter that are conducive to the continued progress of life.
Or, this is the so-called growth, from the indispensable, to now want to try their best to understand life, correct their own misunderstanding of life, and then transform into a partner with life and life.
I remember when I was in high school, when I was on my way to school, I stopped a taxi on the side of the road. But after seeing that there were people inside, he waved his hand and did not sit down.
The driver was also kind, saying, "This side is far from the school, you still sit on it." But when I was young, I was so stubborn and naïve, and I still thought in my heart, you have pulled someone, I don't carpool, I don't promote crooked winds and evil spirits. Continue not to sit.
The driver had no choice but to leave on his own. And that time I walked for more than 1 hour to the school.
In your mind, you may be thinking, how can this person be so stubborn, he should walk for 1 hour. Although I don't care about these things now, if it were in the first place, I would still choose this way.
Don't be in a hurry to say that I'm "really stubborn", because I didn't choose because I was stubborn.
In psychology, it is often mentioned that the original family has a great influence on us. Specifically, the original family here includes the following parts: family atmosphere, parental characteristics, how to be treated by parents, some special experiences, etc.
Why do these have a very big impact on our lives?
Because you also know that when we come into this world, there is only instinct. Neither understands the world, nor the society, nor how it works. And what we come into contact with from our original family becomes the basis for us to know the world, to understand the world, and to understand the world.
The effect is as if when we live in a family that calls apples by pears and defines rules that should not be disobedient to elders, all the apples we see when we grow up are called "pears," and whatever the elders say will become our holy will. And most importantly, we rarely doubt whether this is right or inappropriate, and take it for granted that the world is like this.
But "calling apples with pears" is fine, if some regular things are misled, then this misleading may be a lifetime.
But this is not a particularly strange thing, because in ourselves we have the ability to correct things and repair ourselves, but most of the time this ability is covered up.
Yes, if I lived in a world where everyone strictly adhered to a taxi pulling people only once, without any carpooling behavior, then I would not have the rejection of that time.
But it is precisely because of this rejection that I have tasted some bitterness, so I began to reflect on whether my behavior is appropriate in the end, and the seeds of inner reflection in the future will gradually grow up because I have to carpool more and more in order to rush, and let me understand the driver better, understand others, understand myself more, and slowly I will no longer be angry because of these, and there will no longer be that kind of negative behavior of walking alone for more than an hour.
Yes, no matter what foundation we have gained in our original family, it is possible that in subsequent experiences, as a result of our interactions with life, we will become eager to make some changes so that we can better adapt to the present and live better in the present.
Of course, this is only an ideal situation after all. In reality, we are far less flexible and know how to be flexible.
In my past counseling experience, I met a friend whose problem was that his relationships and life were getting worse and worse, and he didn't know what the problem was.
However, this is only a question he raised. Specifically, he had been living in a more stubborn family before, and his parents could sometimes argue about who was right and who was wrong for a small question for days. However, he is better, he will not be angry with people, and the way he chooses is, "If you don't listen to me, I will convince you, no matter what, I will convince you and make you listen to me."
Because of this way of dealing with it or this kind of personality, the friends he once made because of his enthusiasm in his life gradually drew a line with him. It made him very uncomfortable.
If you have such a friend around you, will you draw a line?
If you are such a person, you have a good heart, and as a result, your friends not only do not listen, but also stay away one by one, will you realize that there may be a problem with your own way of handling, or will you be full of disappointment and feel that these are not real friends?
Just like in the fake gods, after Kim Carey's life has become a mess because of his own arbitrariness, he does not realize that there is a problem with his own way of dealing with it, but instead goes to Morgan Freeman and hopes that he can change everything back.
I think there are many similar situations in your life, so are you curious why we choose this way?
You see, when Morgan Freeman found him in the beginning, he didn't believe him. When he suddenly realized that he did have divine power, he only wanted to fulfill his inner desires. Then came the rush.
After his life began to become a mess because of his own indulgence, regrets began to appear in his heart, which prompted him to go to Morgan Freeman and hope that he would restore everything to the way it was.
This front and back are all in the satisfaction of their own wishes, this front and back are mainly based on themselves, and this before and after has not carried out some more complete thinking.
And you see, when you have the ability to lose your measure, when you have no ability to clean up the mess, you just want "God" to restore it all to its original state. But Morgan Freeman was on leave, and the pot still had to be carried by Kim Carey himself.
I don't know when to start, we think that "life must only be good, there can be no little unsatisfactory", "all unsatisfactory is the fault of others, society, the world"; I don't know when we started, we will become only want good, reject all bad, become unable to experience a little setback, as long as we experience it, we want to quickly push the responsibility to others and quickly get rid of ourselves.
If I keep the above pot on the taxi, the driver, the passenger, and always feel that they do not comply with the rules, then I may lose the corresponding opportunity, not to realize that I am so repulsive to this matter, to have so many emotions, to find so much trouble for myself, not because of them, but because I see this matter this way. It is also impossible to grow in these interactions with life.
If Morgan Freeman had helped Kim Carey restore everything to its originality, then Kim Carey would have lost the opportunity to reflect on where he was wrong and gain experience, and would always be dependent on God and would never have the ability to solve such problems.
So, when you have a good heart to help others and are rejected, will you see grievances, or will you see your own shortcomings?
Please keep the answers to this question in mind, but don't take them lightly, as they will take your life in a different direction.
Just like Chaplin, Kim Carey, and Zhou Xingchi, for various reasons, choose to suppress their true feelings and express their sadness with happiness. This caters to the demands of the public, but it brings great harm to itself and allows itself to encounter depression. And I think they may also realize that they are being hurt by these things, but for various reasons they have to let this hurt continue.
Of course, I don't want to suggest what you must do, but I hope that you can have some thinking on the basis of movies, characters and articles, and on the basis of thinking, make some choices that make your life more and more in line with the present, more and more able to make yourself live in the present, and more and more in line with the "right track" of life.
The choice is always in our own hands, as explained in the movie, the power to change, the power to achieve miracles is in ourselves, only because of the lack of enough experience, exercise and understanding, it is always dusty.
And at the end, allow me to quote another quote from the movie:
If someone prays for patience, do you think God should give him patience or give him the opportunity to learn to be patient? If someone prays for courage, do you think God should give him courage or give him the opportunity to be brave? If someone prays for a closer family, do you think God should give them the feeling of grinding in their ears or give them the opportunity to love each other?
Thank you for reading.