The masterpiece of Chinese parents: frustration education.
Whenever I mention that my parents don't like to praise, it is like seeing myself when I was a child again, and I feel that parents all over the world are the same.
On May 23, Reiza presented a talk show about the frustration education of "Chinese parents" in the variety show "Listen to My Sister". God restored "our" parents.
If you rush home with a 95-point roll.
You will be greeted by your mother who is afraid that you are too happy: "95 points, the difference of 5 points, where is the difference?" You scored 95 points today, can you guarantee that you will all score 95 points? Your 95 points looks good, but among the billions of people in the country, what do you get? ”
If you wear a nice new dress in front of the mirror admire.
You will be greeted by an eternally narcissistic dad: "My daughter, so beautiful!" It's really beautiful! That is, I can give birth to such a beautiful daughter! You see this dressing taste, thanks to my taste so good! ”
Parents who treat their children, pursue frustration education, and adhere to the principle of "modesty makes people progress" are particularly stingy with praise.
Even if it is praise, like the "fathers", the praise for the child itself will be transferred through the art of language: it is a good genetic gene, it is a teacher who teaches well, it is influenced by a good environment and a good school, and it is close to Zhu Zhichi. In short, it is difficult to hear a praise that is only for me, and it is difficult to go to the sky.
Just like Tian Yulan (played by Jiang Xin) in the hit drama "Xiao Shede", in order to make his son Yan Ziyou become a "human being", he is almost paranoid about chicken babies, and "never satisfied" in the process of chicken babies.
She always asks her children to understand that "a mountain is higher than a mountain", her own little score is nothing, the top three want to be the first place, even if Yan Ziyou took the first place, she opened her mouth: "Can you keep it?" ”
Every time Yan Ziyou complained, he would be pushed back by Tian Yulan with "I am not for your own good"; every time he got an excellent result, his smiling face would be suppressed by Tian Yulan's "don't be proud" words.
In the end, Yan Ziyou was overwhelmed, his mental condition was extremely poor, and even "hallucinations".
Understand tian Yulan's heart of hoping for Jackie Chan, but the real benefit of children's education is actually that every hard-earned result can have positive feedback.
Even the game knows that designing countless positive feedback scenarios stimulates the player's obsession, how can parents not learn to use positive feedback to make children obsessed with "self-motivation"?
Praising people is an art, not excessive, nor should it be insufficient.
Reiza grew up in a frustrating education, so much so that even if he received praise as an adult, he still had a little doubt in his mind.
Mom said that she was okay as an actor, and she made up her mind: "In the billions of people, what is it?" Dad said that she acted very well, and the next sentence she made up in her head was "Thanks to my good teaching."
So after having her own child, Reiza began to "retaliate", and the little man would get a lot of praise from his mother every day, without the troubles of his mother's childhood.
As Reiza said when he was promoted to mother, "I am your wing, you are my medicine." The process of learning to raise a baby is also the process of healing oneself.
I only hope that parents and children in the world can grow up together.