"Harmony is precious" is the principle of many people, pay attention to "home and everything at home", pay attention to "peace and wealth" outside! Therefore, many parents pay attention to raising their children into kind and polite children from an early age.
When children play with other children in the community and things are robbed, kind parents will say: "Baby, let it go to other children"! When a child is bullied at school and goes home to file a complaint, the kind parent will say, "Little child! It's not too much, don't do so much"!
When the child finally enters the society, the kind parents will tell the child: "It is a blessing to suffer losses!" Don't get in trouble when you're out and about, don't cause trouble for others!
The result? When they grow up, this kind of child becomes an "old good man", not only did not make money, did not have everything happy, but was angry everywhere, always wronged himself, and was pinched by people as soft persimmons! And the soft persimmon personality of the child has long been traced, there are these 3 performances should pay attention to!
First, I like to look at people's eyes and act
I am especially afraid that someone will praise a child who is really sensible, really obedient, and really will do things. It's not a compliment, it's more like saying it's an insecure child who chooses to endlessly please others for fear of being abandoned.
Japanese people seem to be particularly good at making stories of flattering personalities, and the more famous "The Life of a Hated Matsuko" is a story of life tragedy due to flattering personalities.
In addition, the TV series "Kai's New Life", in which the protagonist has been pleasing her mother since she was a child, which leads to her facing harsh colleagues at work in the future, she thinks not to resist but to please, and as a result, she is more treated as a soft persimmon pinch.
Not only that, she is also the blind flatterer in the relationship! Just for the sentence: "Because I don't want to be hated by you"!
Second, do not dare to look up at people's lonely children
In the school, there is a category of children who are easy to become the object of "bullying", that is, reticent children who are silent and dare not look up at others. Such children are weaker in social skills and are often left alone, so they are more likely to be bullied.
Professor Li Meijin said that children who do not like to make direct eye contact with others are mostly stupid. Not knowing what to say to strangers leads to poor social skills in society.
And this social ability will continue all the way to the society, the campus may be bullied, to the society may be the role of the tired and unflattering, because the mouth is stupid and not welcomed by the leader, only know the boring work, it is inevitable to suffer losses!
Third, do not dare to refuse, will not resist unfairness
If you are as weak as water, then others will not have to make any effort to find that you have no backbone, and will treat you like a slave. —Mark Twain
When a friend asks you to do something, you obviously don't want to do it, but you just don't dare to refuse; when you buy a dress online, the workmanship is not good, you are afraid of trouble, so you say a confession; when the leader makes a request, you obviously feel unreasonable, you dare not resist...
In fact, this shows that you are a weak person like water, and it is naturally difficult to escape the end of being treated as a "slave"! If you find that your child does not dare to refuse and will not resist unfairness, you should pay attention to it and avoid him becoming a "soft persimmon" and being pinched!
1. Character education
As mentioned earlier, the first manifestation of the "soft persimmon" personality of the child is the flattering personality, so the character of this child is a problem, if the child is confident, brave, optimistic, and able to correctly understand himself from an early age, how can he develop this personality?
Therefore, parents cultivate their children into a person with a sound personality during the critical period of the formation of their children's personality, that is, before the age of 6. Professor Li Meijin said: "Many adult problems are actually problems before the age of 6."
Second, teach children to resist bravely
Teach children to bravely rebel against injustice, this lesson is a compulsory lesson for children's growth! If you don't know how to educate your children, I suggest you take your child to see the best live-action short film "The Secret of the School Choir", which won the 89th Academy Awards.
It is recommended that parents take children over 8 years old to see, in the story, Sophie participated in the choir but because she did not sing well, she was asked by the teacher to only move her mouth and not make a sound!
Friend Lisa learned of this and led the entire choir to resist this unfairness by silent singing on the day of the performance. The finale ends with the teacher leaving the scene in anger and all the children looking at each other and smiling!
In fact, people's lives will really experience too much unfair treatment in the face of so-called "authority" or "strong", at this time how to make brave resistance is learned during the critical period of character formation, otherwise it will be difficult to change in the future!
There is a Greek folklore that says: "Courage is the wing of heaven, but cowardice leads people to hell"! May we ourselves and our children be brave people, not cowardly characters!