接上期侯蕾著《前世今生》转载（34）
他的节目开场时都会有几分钟的即兴独白(好像中国的单口相声),独白的内容通常是调侃时下刚刚发生的新闻和事件,以批评政府骂总统为主，非常有特点。
虽然我发现国内已经有两档节目在照搬他的节目形式，但效果差得远了。以下是一些他最近的即兴独白:
According to Woodward’s new book,Colin Powell warned President Bush that if he went to war he would 'own Iraq's twenty- five million people and all their hopes and problems.’He said,'You
will own it all.’And then Cheney said,Does that include the oil wells?’(根据伍德沃德的新书,鲍威尔警告布什如果他开战的话，他将‘拥有伊拉克两千五百万国民和国民所有的希望和问题。’他说:“你将拥有全部。”然后切尼说:“那包括油井吗?")
Tomorrow President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney are scheduled to testify before the 9/11 Commission.I guess right now they’re finalizing the seating arrangements...Should Bush sit on Cheney's right knee or his left knee?
(明天总统布什和副总统切尼将接受911调查委员会的听证。我猜现在他们正在研究座位问题…布什是坐在切尼的左膝还是右膝上?)
John Kerry’s wife, Teresa Heinz,is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week. They said if John Kerry is elected, she would be the oldest First Lady in American history--66 years old.But that doesn’t bother Kerry.To him, she looks like a million bucks-- rather, $500 million.
(约翰·凯利的太太,特丽莎,这礼拜出现在新闻周刊杂志的封面上。人们说如果凯利当选，特丽莎将是美国有史以来年龄最大的第一夫人——66岁。但是凯利不在乎这些。对他来说,特丽莎看起来就像百万美元——准确地说是50亿美元。)
The National Enquirer reports Monica Lewinsky wants to get 5 to10 million dollars for the movie rights to her relationshipwith Bill Clinton. Monica Lewinsky says she wants Mandy Moore to play her in the movie about her life. Mandy Moore? Michael Moore would be more like it!
(国家资讯报道说莫尼卡·露温斯基想要五百万到一千万美元的关于他和克林顿关系的电影版权。莫尼卡·露温斯基说她想要曼蒂·莫尔在影片中饰演她。曼蒂·莫尔?我看迈克尔·莫尔更像她。)
Iraq has a new flag. Yeah, like that was their biggest problem. No flag. That’s like the Titanic, after hitting the ice burg,an- nouncing they have a new chef.(伊拉克有新国旗了。Yeah,好象这是他们的大问题似的。没有国旗。就好像泰坦尼克撞上冰山之后，宣布他们有了新船长。)
从他的调侃中不难看出一些美国大众的心理和最关心的问题是什么。比如战争,比如肥胖都是他最经常提到的话题。其实美国对伊拉克开战最初是民心所向的。虽然有些人认为是9·11之后的反恐热潮使得政府有机会诱导民众支持对伊开战，但我认为大多数美国民众支持战争的潜意识原因还是石油。
待续……
