01
Li Qinqin was born on May 2, 1963, in Beijing to a traditional military family.
As a father of a soldier, he is very strict with his children, even a little harsh, from dressing up to talking and behaving, everything has to be asked.
In the 1980s, in the early stage of reform and opening up in China, new ideas, new ideas and new trends continued to emerge, and people's ideological concepts, especially young people, were undergoing earth-shaking changes.
At that time, Li Qinqin, who had just graduated from middle school, thought that his thoughts were the most active period, and it was also the most active and fastest age for accepting new things.
The new concept and way of life make Li Qinqin, who is already cheerful and lively, more successful, and completely integrate himself into the torrent of the times.
The open environment and the strict family environment have achieved Li Qinqin's rebellious character in adolescence.
The father did not let the children wear jeans that they thought were indecent, and Li Qinqin secretly wore them in a different way.
After the college entrance examination fell off the list, her father worked hard to find a relationship trustee, and it was difficult to arrange a stable job for her to be a registered clerk in the hospital, who knows, she actually broke her own "iron rice bowl" for her own actor dream, a fierce son plunged into the show business circle, and became an actor with no guarantee.
In those days, courage was really not the usual big.
A father who had been a soldier, had been educated for many years, and had a natural alienation or even "hostility" toward the Japanese, he did not expect that his daughter would bring back to herself a Japanese son-in-law who was too pure to be pure.
According to Li Qinqin's own revelations later, the main reason why she chose to marry foreigners was that she could not accept the nonsense of domestic men.
Especially the kind of Chinese men who don't know who they are after drinking two or two, and dare to take everything on themselves.
She said she likes the simplicity of foreign men, dealing with things that are complex on the basis of simplicity, without too many flowery intestines and twists and turns.
The most important thing is that foreign men are more romantic and simple than Chinese men.
I don't know if this is the original source of Li Qinqin's threat not to find Chinese men, but the objects she once married were indeed all foreign men, which confirmed this rumor.
As the old saying goes, the first criterion for a girl to find a husband, the subconscious mind will take the image of the father.
A father who conforms to the public aesthetic will make the daughter unconsciously think of finding a man like the father to be a husband.
The negative example is that a father who brings a very bad experience to his daughter, because of his own existence of some kind of shortcomings or personality that the daughter cannot tolerate, leads the girl to find a husband and resolutely not to find a man like the father.
Perhaps, his father, who was inconsistent with his own eight characters and who had carried out strict stick education for Li Qinqin since childhood, made Li Qinqin have an irrepressible sense of fear of Chinese men, and only then did he threaten not to marry Chinese men.
Of course, all this is pure speculation.
Perhaps, more often, even the girls themselves do not know that their criteria for finding a spouse are actually subtly and have been deeply influenced by the original family.
02
After dropping the "iron rice bowl", Li Qinqin soon ushered in the opening of his acting career.
In 1984, the Sino-US co-production film "Beijing Story" was recruiting a starring actor in Beijing, and Li Qinqin signed up for the first time after hearing it.
But on the day of the audition, Li Qinqin came to the Xuanwu Hotel in Beijing early and was dumbfounded.
The people who came to audition did not say a lot, one by one, they looked like a young and beautiful, and there was no shortage of acting students.
Standing among these beautiful and talented women, such an acting artist like himself is a small transparent one without any advantages.
But I can't stand the boldness.
Li Qinqin, who has the dream of being an actor, relies on the strength of the newborn calf who is not afraid of the tiger, and has conquered the director and become the heroine of the film by virtue of his unsublinching appearance and youthful vitality.
After the film was made and released, the response was good, and it also initially laid the foundation for Li Qinqin's position in the show business circle.
At that time, Chen Chong and Zhang Yu all went abroad at that time, and the talents in the domestic performing arts industry were in a time when they were not picking up, Li Qinqin debuted at this time, and the resources and opportunities could be said to be simple to grab.
Just when everyone around her thought that she had since entered the film circle as deep as the sea and began to swim in the ocean of her favorite acting, Li Qinqin swam to Japan alone and soon began her first married life.
03
In 1986, Li Qinqin came to Japan and met his first husband, Yamane, a Japanese.
According to Li Qinqin, marrying her first husband was entirely due to her youth and ignorance, and she was touched by her Japanese husband at the time, Yamane, and promised to marry her.
At that time, Yamane lived in a very traditional and poor Japanese family.
There are many younger siblings, and Yamane, as the eldest son, can't even wear shoes in the winter in order to take care of his younger siblings.
At this time, Chinese neighbors, who were across the wall from Yamane's family, extended their friendly hand to Yamane, not only giving Yamane a pair of shoes, but also often receiving some Chinese meals from Yamane's family.
At that time, Yamane praised his neighbors in front of Li Qinqin, and at the same time, he also praised Chinese fiercely: what Chinese rice is the best, Chinese industrious and hard work.
Yamane's highest praise for Chinese made Li Qinqin, who was alone in a foreign country, instantly moved and inexplicably, and he had a good feeling for this Japanese who was nearly 20 years older than himself.
As the exchange deepened, the good feeling developed into love, and Li Qinqin and Yamane came to the point of talking about marriage.
When Li Qinqin returned to her parents with the same traditional concept of Yamane, what her father gave her was not a blessing, but a complaint that hated iron and steel: "I can stand up and beat you and break your leg."
Looking at his tearful old father, Li Qinqin was speechless.
However, thankfully, because of Yamane's kind and simple character, Li Qinqin's old father finally accepted this transnational marriage.
Immersed in happiness, Li Qinqin soon gave birth to himself and Shangen's son, Li Leilei.
But after marriage, chai rice oil and salt are destined to consume the red wine candlelight of love.
The simple and slightly wooden Yamane did not bring Li Qinqin the romantic married life he imagined, plus Yamane was engaged in journalistic work, and the nature of his work determined that he could not do both work and family, and soon, the marriage came to an end.
04
After leaving his first marriage, Li Qinqin soon left Japan and came to the United States.
It was here that she met her second husband and entered the palace of marriage again.
In contrast to the first husband's disregard for the family, the American husband is a control freak who regards the family as his personal private property.
In the interview program, Li Qinqin broke the news with a bitter smile that the big and small things in the family, everyone had to listen to her American husband a lot of times, and all expenses had to be approved and approved by him.
Especially in the details of life, the two people with different cultural concepts have very different differences in their dealings with each other, so that Li Qinqin often does not come to the stage in front of friends.
Once, Li Qinqin invited some domestic performing arts colleagues who came to the United States to dinner at home, including li Qiang, who is now a famous actor.
Li Qinqin's husband made a pot of pasta and sauce, and Li Qiang, who came to eat, saw that there was only noodles and sauce on the table, and laughed in passing: Come to your house to eat this for us, and don't even give a whole intestine.
This was a very common way of interacting between chinese acquaintances, who knows, the American husband who felt that he should receive praise, heard such ridicule, and immediately wrote unhappiness on his face.
In the american husband's philosophy, you come to my house for dinner, and the host offers everything that should be praised and thankful, and should not be rejected.
In the end, the group had to go out to eat.
The good-natured ridicule turned out to be considered uncultured disgust, and the American husband had an awkward fight with Li Qinqin for several days in a row for this matter.
What is even more excessive is that American husbands often impose some of the informal behavior of Chinese people on Li Qinqin, taking the opportunity to scold Li Qinqin.
For example, when he saw someone spitting on the ground at that time, he immediately "fired" at Li Qinqin, and a scolding could even be scolded for three days without stopping.
Originally in this controlled marriage, Li Qinqin, who had been tortured to the point of unspeakable suffering, was so disliked.
When she was struggling with divorce, one day, when she went to the restaurant with her friends, she actually met her old American justice and other women toasting and drinking, and I was dating, which finally prompted her to make up her mind to end this marriage that could not be integrated.
Later, when Li Qinqin recalled this incident, he was very strange with his own personality, how at that time it was not like the bridge section in the TV series: a glass of wine spilled over, or questioned the other party in a loud voice.
She didn't even have the courage to meet with the other party, and only whispered to her friend about the dilemma she was facing.
In the end, she and her friends and a group of six people quietly went to another restaurant to eat, ending the scene of the large car accident in which the current and Xiaosan accidentally collided.
05
Looking back now, among several marriages, the first marriage was the most satisfactory part of Li Qinqin's married life.
When talking about this marriage on the scene of the "Very Quiet Distance" program, Li Qinqin suddenly asked the audience: Who has regret medicine.
The implication is that at this age, she suddenly realized that a truly happy married life is not just romantic flowers and red wine and candlelight, but two people who are foaming at each other, frank and relative, plain chai rice oil and salt, is a relatively happy every ordinary but fulfilling day.
In fact, the simplicity, purity, tenacity and hard work of Chinese men are also widely known in the world, and the romance and intimacy of Chinese men in the new era are not inferior to those of Westerners.
Isn't the simple and pure character of her Japanese husband that is infinitely close to that of Chinese men that makes Li Qinqin unforgettable?
In fact, in marriage and love, there is no geographical difference, only the difference between people.
Perhaps Li Qinqin grasped the true meaning of love and marriage, and at the age of 40, she once thought about the future with a Chinese man.
Someone once introduced her to a Chinese man who was a few years younger than her.
Who knows, before they met, the introducer repeatedly warned her that when they both met, don't laugh, especially don't laugh, you must wear and pretend.
This can kill Li Qinqin, a big grinning, informal woman.
Finally, Li Qinqin, who finally felt that he could not control Chinese men, completely gave up the idea of remarriage and was single so far.