"The next stop is happiness" has ended, and the "scum" behavior of the heroine in the play is very controversial. So by the way, combined with the real experience of a female student, teach everyone to use the "moving attraction model" to analyze why the heroine He Fanxing will give people a feeling of stepping on two boats.
In order to facilitate friends who have not seen the drama to understand, here is the first to insert the main character introduction and plot synopsis, do not need friends, you can skip.
Heroine He Fanxing: Executive director of Marvelous Decoration Company, 32 years old. He has been single because of his love attitude and his brother's excessive protection. It is a second-time elderly girl who hides a persistent attitude towards love outside the cloak of not smiling at work. After she entered the age of 32, she began her first love with her colleague Yuan Song, who was ten years younger, but was criticized by the age gap, and her company was facing the crisis of being acquired, and her feelings and career were in trouble at the same time. Male protagonist Yuan Song: Senior student majoring in interior design, 22 years old. Under the recommendation of mentor He Canyang, he went to he Fanxing's company Wonderful Decoration Company for internship. While he is sunny and handsome, he has the directness and directness of young people's love. In the daytime contact with He Fanxing, he fell in love with He Fanxing. Male Erye Luming: Owner of Minglu Advertising Company, 37 years old. Mature and stable at the same time, it has a funny hidden attribute. He Fanxing is patient and good at lurking, and is a love expert who is step-by-step. Synopsis He Fanxing's company is facing the crisis of being acquired, and his relationship with Yuan Song has also been criticized by many times due to the age gap, and the crisis of feelings and career almost at the same time has caused He Fanxing to fall into the low tide of life. At this time, the mature and stable Ye Luming broke into He Fanxing's world and became He Fanxing's life mentor. The appearance of Ye Luming made Yuan Song feel that his love had become precarious, and there were constant misunderstandings between him and He Fanxing. For He Fanxing, Yuan Song and Ye Luming are not only a simple love choice question, but a contradictory dilemma for women in the workplace to face the traditional concept of marriage and love. As the misunderstanding deepened, He Fanxing and Yuan Song had no choice but to break up, but they could not accept Ye Luming, who admired her.
In this drama, the relationship between the male and female protagonists progresses rapidly, the first two episodes kiss and hug, and the fourth episode completes everything... kindness... It's all, you know. But the whole series is more than forty episodes long, cough, this is very clear, the rest of the time is used to do things.
As a "step-by-step love master", the male second naturally opened the road of digging the wall under the premise that the female protagonist and the male protagonist have confirmed the love relationship. The advantage of the male second is that he has experienced a lot of life experience, has a sharp mind, a deep mind, and has succeeded in starting a business, which belongs to the representative of the social elite. In addition, the appearance is also quite handsome, the age of 37 years old, but also commensurate with the 32-year-old heroine.
On the contrary, the male and female protagonists are relatively naïve. One is indeed young, 22 years old; one is older, but psychologically she is still a middle school girl, and she has no previous experience in love. So the male second took advantage of their naivety, successfully destroyed the relationship, and successfully dug into the wall with some accidents that occurred afterwards.
In this process, only one detail must be paid attention to. It is the contrast of physical contact, the female protagonist did not know the male protagonist for a long time, and all the intimate actions of the two were completed. The second man has been n long, but he has very little hand in hand, it is not easy to kiss it, and the heroine still resists in her heart. Only a lip service was given to talk about marriage.
But the second man really made the heroine consider marrying him, or rely on some accidents:
Before the accident, the female protagonist just tried to fall in love with the male second, and a little wanted to end with the male second. As a result, the company was acquired, and my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and almost lost. The heroine has had a smooth life since she was a child, so when faced with these things, she was very flustered. And it was precisely Ye Luming who was also good at dealing with these things. Therefore, stimulated by this unexpected event, the heroine began to change from hesitating whether to end the relationship to trying to make herself fall in love with Ye Luming and then get married.
However, in the process of effort, the heroine saw Yuan Song contacting other girls, or she could not help but be jealous and angry... So the feeling of stepping on two beds came out.
In fact, Yuan Song and Ye Luming do have their own advantages: Yuan Song is young and handsome, talented, and can be flirtatious; Ye Luming is mature and stable, and the age and material conditions are very suitable, giving the heroine a full sense of security when she is flustered. So the heroine is a bit fine, the advantages of Both Yuan Song and Ye Luming, she wants, so in terms of behavior, it is a bit scummy...
The moving attraction model, which is about this thing, is that everyone has two needs: touching and attracting. Touching refers to: security, high emotional loyalty, very good to the other half, good material foundation, mature and stable; attraction refers to: like, heartbeat, physical impulse, psychological impulse and all the spiritual and emotional feelings that make one party can't help but desire. Attracting a part of something always gives a feeling of "beautiful and useless". For example, it is very heartwarming, but the heartbeat cannot be eaten as a meal...
In fact, if conditions permit, anyone who wants to have both touching and attraction, but reality often does not allow it. He Fanxing is here, just want it... It is a pity to attract in the Yuan Song and moved in the leaf deer.
If it is ancient times, a man can marry two wives, satisfied with touching and attracting respectively. Girls can also consider... After all, from the need real. It's like seeing all kinds of leg splitting cheating in reality, stepping on two boats, talking about love with Xiao San, and sharing hardships with his wife... If there is a need, someone will do it... Fortunately, there are moral and legal pressures...
Given the pressure, when most people are unable to do both, priority is given to more urgent needs. For example, if you are more urgent about security, you will give priority to the object that provides security; if you are more urgent about attraction, you will give priority to the object that provides attraction.
In the play, He Fanxing grew up with a family and beauty, and now her job is stable, so most of the time, she does not lack a sense of security. Then her first need is attraction. And the Yuan Song perfectly gave the attraction, which led to the rapid development of their relationship. But when a person is attracted to be satisfied, her first need becomes a sense of security. And when the environment changes, people's first needs will also change. (The key points are drawn here, and I will take the test later.) ）
Therefore, when He Fanxing has been fully attracted, he begins to feel safe. Because the age difference between the two is ten years, the love affair of the next door neighbor's big man and the little boy has made a big joke, and the tragedy has ended. Therefore, the heroine is very insecure, so on the one hand, she does not want to talk about it, on the other hand, she can't help but talk about it, and she does not dare to disclose it.
At this time, the cunning male second shot, the male second relied on amplifying these risks, guiding the heroine and The Yuan Song to have a conflict, and eventually leading to their breakup.
But after the breakup, the needs of the female protagonist have changed back, or they still want to attract the most, and the male second is mainly good at giving a sense of security. So although the breakup, but after trying to fall in love with the second man, the heroine does not want to continue.
The result came unexpectedly, the female company was acquired, middle-aged unemployed, and the father found out that he was already demented and almost lost. After experiencing these panics, the heroine's mentality has changed, and the need for a sense of security has come first. So I firmly chose Ye Luming, who could give a sense of security, and tried to make myself fall in love with Ye Luming, that is, I wanted to make up for the attraction part on my own. (Exam content: Confirm the previous statement, everyone wants both, and after the sense of security is met, the first need will become attracted... ）
Unfortunately, the two do all kinds of things together, and the heroine just can't find the feeling of heartbeat... And Ye Luming is essentially a romantic person, so he can't stand that the heroine doesn't really like him. Eventually, the two broke up peacefully.
At this time, the difficulties of the heroine have also eased up... Took my father to prescribe medicine, bought a positioning watch, and no longer worry about finding it. At work, he opened a flower shop with his girlfriend, plus his brother assisted, and obtained parental support. So the heroine's sense of security returned, and the first need became attraction. And Yuan Song is the one who has always been able to satisfy her attraction.
As a perfect love, it is certainly to be touched and attracted to be satisfied. Therefore, in the process of dealing with Ye Luming, Yuan Song also learned all kinds of mental tricks and various routines. In terms of material conditions, the relationship with the family has eased, and the study abroad is still planned.
Therefore, the Yuan and Song dynasties already have the ability to be satisfied at the same time, and to eat a grain and grow a wisdom. In the past, when she fell in love with the heroine, the heroine only gave Yuan Song an attraction, and the sense of security was not given at all, and the specific performance was that the heroine did not openly fall in love, and the routine against Ye Luming was not defensive at all. So Yuan Song is now learning to be obedient, and he also has a sense of security and attraction.
The ending is naturally mutual satisfaction, so that the relationship is unbreakable.
This is the "moving attraction model", when everyone is not smooth to pick up the male god or goddess, you can use this model to analyze where there is a problem.
The previous article is too long, so the experience of student Xiaoying will be more concise. Xiaoying grew up in a single-parent family, and was relatively poor, so she lacked a sense of security and love from an early age. This time forced her to study hard and work hard. After work, although the situation has eased, I still have low self-esteem and lack of love in my heart. So at the age of marriage, I found a husband with a worse education than himself, a job worse than himself, and no self-motivation. The advantage of this husband is that he is unusually considerate and caring for her, giving her endless love... At that time, this made Xiaoying very moved.
Xiaoying's psychology at that time, I believe that everyone used moving to attract the model, can be clearly analyzed. The main thing is that at that time, I was inferior in my heart, and I felt that I was not qualified to have a sense of security and attraction at the same time, and love and security have always been what she lacked the most, and her husband could be satisfied, so she was happy to get married.
After getting married, the two also had children. However, as he grew older, Xiaoying's mind and psychology became more mature and determined, and the success of his career became more and more able to bring a sense of security. The whole family has always been supported by her, and she has more love for the child.
So when I saw my unmotivated husband, I began to feel more and more uncomfortable. But Xiaoying did not want to divorce, thinking that adjusting her husband to be self-motivated could also solve this matter. So I have always encouraged my husband to study more, paid for training courses for my husband, and encouraged my husband to improve his academic qualifications and go out to work. But Xiaoying's husband's personality of being at ease with the encounter has been maintained for more than thirty years. Not motivated at all. Every day when I have time, I only know how to play mahjong, and I don't clean up myself at home, and I dress sloppily. There are also great problems in the spiritual level, the original academic qualifications are not as high as Xiaoying, and they have always resisted learning, so the spiritual world of the two has also gone farther and farther.
In the end, Xiaoying had no effect after trying for several years, and he couldn't bear it at all, so he could only choose to divorce and go after his own holy queen.
It is obvious from the analysis here that Xiaoying has not had an easy time, and has been forced to work so hard since he was a child. Then when you get married, you only dare to choose to solve the sense of security first, and then grow up later, and then dare to pursue attraction. So, I actually support Xiaoying... Even if the two of them do not divorce, if they continue like this, their rift will only grow larger and larger, and eventually they will sleep in the same bed and dream, pretending to be husband and wife.
Since this is the case, it is better to divorce earlier, not noisy, keep the good memories of the two people before, divorce and get along with each other and take care of the children together.
Touched by the simple use of the attraction model, I believe that through these two cases, everyone has mastered, more complex use of private lessons and then introduced.
Regarding Xiaoying's case, in fact, it is to remind those who intend to live with their partners for a lifetime: to understand the marriage relationship, the key to long-term relationship management is that moving and attracting are ultimately needed. When you are married because of one of these aspects and have established a long-term relationship, do not indulge in it, grasp the other side to make up for it, and do not leave hidden dangers for your love and marriage.