Where is my home?

Before I lifted my pen, tears had already ticked to my phone, and the sadness in my heart that was difficult to hide was revealed on my hair-colored face.

Since last year, or more accurately, the year before, the continuous blows suffered have finally crushed the last thought in my heart. What crushed me and made me grief-stricken was the person closest to me and the most trusted, yes, my other half. Once I relied on the man I relied on the most, I could no longer see everything about him. Maybe the marriage in the beginning was a mistake, maybe I didn't know him in the first place.

The "deception storm" has begun since 2019, and it has received collection calls from banks and small companies again and again, and SMS critical hit collection. At first I thought it was a scam call and ignored it because I didn't believe he would do it. It wasn't until I was contacted by spousal development bank that I learned that he did owe 70,000 yuan, which was overdue. I asked him what he was doing with the money, and he first said that he owed it to get married and renovate the house, and later admitted that he was cheated of buying gold, so he owed so much money.

I've been married to him for years and never imagined he'd be cheated on the Internet, he said it was just greed that led to cheating. I was angry, angry, and had a big fight with him. After many apologies and pleadings, I saw his pitiful appearance, forgave him with a soft heart, and tried to help him pay back. However, not long after, I found that my two credit cards were swiped by him tens of thousands, borrowed 30,000 by him, and the insurance was borrowed by him for 10,000, and they were all installments, these things I did not know on the same day, Huabei things were known for many days. At that time, he promised me and wrote a letter of guarantee, repeatedly saying that there would be no more foreign debt, and I once again chose to forgive him. But it backfired, and he deceived me again, again!

This time I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau, made up my mind to divorce, and when I entered the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau and opened the marriage certificate, my heart was as painful as a needle, so sad that my heart was trembling. From the heart, I compromised again, not because of my parents or relatives that made me withdraw, but because my own heart was not firm enough, and I was still thinking about his kindness to me. In this way, I was confused and returned to normal life with him.

The good times did not last long, and the "deception storm" appeared again. CMF has called me many times, sent me text messages, and spoken harshly to my bones. I couldn't believe he was making another mistake, and I didn't want to believe it from the bottom of my heart. The collection calls of CMF have been calling me continuously, at first I blocked them, but they changed their mobile phone numbers and called me, and finally sent text messages to warn me. CMF even sent me the details of his arrears and through recordings, and I was not so determined, and I began to have doubts about him.

I asked him to go to the people's bank to call a personal letter, he agreed, but dragged on for several days not to call, claiming that he applied for a credit report online, and was still waiting for a reply. Finally, at my urging, he went to the people's bank to print the credit. The credit report shows that he has 57 accounts, most of which are loans from CMF, most of which have been settled, but there are 3 accounts that are overdue, with a total amount of 17,000. By this time, he was still saying that he had not borrowed from CmLCC Finance. Naked credit is there, and he is still justifying the sophistry of his words.

When CMFS called him, he found a reason to delay, saying that he would deal with the matter. When I asked him if he had borrowed money from CMF, he said he hadn't. It wasn't until CMCI Financial sent me their voice through the recording that I was sure it was his voice. He is still arguing that the recording can be forged, which is simply hopeless. Whether the borrowing is genuine or fraudulent, he shouldn't say it twice. To borrow is to borrow, and to borrow is not to borrow. In his words, it is for my sake, afraid that I will know that getting angry is not good for my body. Huh

My last thoughts about him, not even my trust, were completely destroyed in this "deception storm." Until now, he was reluctant to admit from his heart that he had cheated on me again. He just thinks that he is not wrong, he does not make the "eating, drinking and gambling" that men should make, he thinks that only "eating, drinking and gambling" is a mistake, lying and so on, it is not a mistake. This original idea of mine for him completely collapsed!

I was so disappointed in him that I should say I was desperate! Six years of affection, just like this, he was buried! I don't understand and I don't want to understand what he thinks is "for my sake, afraid that I am worried", his ability to deceive people, his firm tone of lying, and his attitude of indifference after making mistakes make me despair. I thought I could change him, I thought the feelings were pure, I thought he was well-intentioned, I thought he was really good for me! All I thought, just my wishful thinking.

The house is about to be sold, the marriage house that was once full of happiness, now looks so lonely, my heart is repeatedly hurting, I am not willing to admit it and I am afraid to face it, I am not willing to make a choice. My home was going to be gone, so lonely that I was about to suffocate. I knew it was right to leave him because he wasn't worth it. My heart still hurts so much, and my tears are still so indisputable. I don't know how to be strong again, face life again, I am struggling, where is my home? Where should my heart be placed?