Not long ago, I wrote "The Discussion Of Jackie Chan's Daughter's Help Video" and "Pseudo-Feminist Appeal, But Shirking Responsibility" to discuss how women can fight for fairness and how to gain respect.
Now, following on to the first two articles, and then to the theme of "female empowerment", let me talk about my own reflections.
(A reader friend left a message saying, "Snow, you can be gentler.") "Well, to explain, a lot of my articles are written while discussing with everyone on Weibo. In discussion, sometimes I will encounter attacks, so when giving a corresponding response in writing, this part of the tone will be sharp and not gentle. Yes, I will pay attention to this again, when pushing the article, try to restore the necessary context. ）
Text | Li Xue
Speaking of gender differences, comparing me with Wu Zhihong, I think that I and Wu Zhihong are not too different in their love and insight into psychology, but obviously his fame, the degree of recognition he has in the public, and his benefits are n times mine.
What is the reason for this, "Chinese feminism" has a universal interpretation of all differences: the oppression of a patriarchal society.
This explanation gives them freedom from thinking. But for me, not thinking about the truth is equivalent to mental suicide, and today I will thoroughly summarize the reasons why I am not red.
First of all, a major reason is that I was once deeply trapped in the self-hypnosis of being a "second sex", thinking that relationship is the most important, I and Wu Zhihong "do not distinguish between you and me", helping him to become red is my success.
Therefore, in the relationship with Wu Zhihong for 7 years, most of my business consciousness is used in Wu Zhihong, and there are few ideas and efforts to manage myself, so in 7 years, I am willing not to leave a way back for myself, and the pace of development is 7 years behind others.
Why do I fall into the hypnosis of the second sex, partly because of the desire to live with my mother, but many men also lack the mother-baby link, why don't they fall into the delusion of symbiosis?
I realized a fear within myself that I didn't want to face my life.
I was afraid of the risks that might be encountered when I rushed to the front line, and I was afraid that setbacks would cause my narcissism to break.
So I hid behind Wu Zhihong as a courtier—he succeeded, and his failure didn't mean "I can't"—and I enjoyed his glory and avoided the pain of narcissism.
I corroborate what De Beauvoir said: A woman's greatest misfortune is the mistaken belief that there is an easier way to wait for her.
In short, because I'm a coward.
The second big reason is that I am really not as diligent as Wu Zhihong.
There are many things I am curious about. I can play with cats and cats all day, the chief (my parrot) will be pulled up as soon as he frantically calls my heart, he will put down all things to accompany him, I love to mess with friends who have nothing to do, I am weak so I spend a lot of time on health, and Wu Zhihong can focus on writing for a long time, which really makes me admire.
Wu Zhihong's column was updated so punctually and the amount of content was large, and this diligence made me sigh.
Here shivering to say to the creditors: sorry, the quality of the unfinished course will be better, kneel down and beg for forgiveness!
Combining the above two reasons, I and Wu Zhihong are "two equally excellent people", and the difference in fame and fortune is several times, which is really deserved.
There is no "easy way" in this world, both men and women, and the difference between men and women is only that women usually realize this later.
Why are there many men at the top of the political and economic field?
My understanding is that women's competitive preferences are overall lower than men's.
Why aren't women so competitive?
One is innate reasons, the soul reincarnates as a woman, and more homework needs to be practiced in relationships to experience intimacy. For babies to grow up healthy, moms need to be fully engaged in the mother-baby link.
The reason for the day after tomorrow is the fear of competition.
Losing competition leads to narcissistic damage, which is difficult for the fragile self to bear.
Female babies are generally fed less than men, so the body is more vulnerable.
Why are mothers more willing to feed their baby boys? Because baby girls are the same as their mothers, they are easy to become the object of negative projection by their mothers, and mothers are prone to project their suffering to baby girls and project hopes to baby boys.
Women also project their own competitive desires onto men, and their men compete for success as if they satisfy their own desire to compete. Women conquer the world by conquering men, which is what they say about this hidden projection.
The higher the position, the more ambitious people are welcome, so there are fewer women at the top overall than men.
Of course, you might say that there is a drama-like competition between women, but that's another aspect.
Do women want to compete like men? There is no only correct way to live in the world, the heart is not hindered, and the free choice of self-responsibility is the winner in life.
As a woman, if you have a small preference for competition and are not willing to take on greater responsibilities, it is no problem, and you really don't want a fast-paced and high-pressure life, there is no need to force yourself to compete.
Since you chose it yourself, when the leader promotes a more ambitious male colleague, don't fool yourself into thinking that you are gender-discriminated in the workplace.
If women just like to compete and enjoy ambition, then fight hard and don't be affected by such as women have poor logical ability, women will be subject to gender discrimination, women's workplace ceilings, and women who do not take care of their families must regret it.
The real hero goes all the way, even if the flies are buzzing behind their backs. (This sentence quotes Wu Zhihong)
The more successful people like to work with people who are purely engaged in the work itself, the more high it is, the more difficult it is to find a suitable candidate, but also to ask headhunters for help at high prices, where will pick men and women.
In the free market, if there is any discrimination, it is the discrimination of ability.
Author | Li Xue
Psychologist, engaged in psychological research for nearly a decade, founded "Initial Heart Psychology"; best-selling author, author of "When I Meet a Man" Amazon and Dangdang are available for sale.
Official number | Li Xue loves and is free
Sina Weibo @ Li Xue Love and Freedom
Illustration | Japanese drama "Miss Charlotte" miss sherlock stills and screenshots