Children are a magical "species" that begins their own growth from the day they are separated from their mothers.
They slowly began to learn to understand the world, began to be curious about the world, began to yearn for independence...
But sometimes, they are afraid of separation, afraid of independence, and always like to cling to the people around them:
Xiao Mo was more than 1 year old, and suddenly became very clingy: as long as his mother was at home, he would always follow his mother, even if his mother went to the bathroom, he had to follow him.
If Mom closes the door, he knocks hard outside.
This makes the mother a little puzzled, and a little angry, how come the child grows up, but becomes "out of breath"?
Coincidentally, actor Zhang Xinyi also complained that the child was too clingy.
She once shared a photo on Weibo with a child glued to her body, saying:
"This guy, who has recently become particularly clingy, likes to stick to me at all times.
After falling asleep, I put it next to me and insisted on crawling over and hugging to sleep, holding it to sleep soundly, putting it to the side and squeezing it over, repeating it several times, and the old mother was disgusted and proud..."
The "capriciousness" of children is indeed maddening, but in fact, there are traces behind it.
01
Sticky and reasonable!
Some parents are very impatient with their children's clinginess, thinking that their children should be independent when they grow up.
So they will use methods that they think they are exercising their independence, such as deliberately snubbing the child or punishing the child.
These practices are very undesirable, and will make children more insecure and more clingy in behavior.
In fact, 1 to 2 years old is a stage where the child's clingy behavior is more obvious.
At this stage, the child's motor ability improves, and he can start to walk, and even run, and the space for outward exploration is greater.
At the same time, his cognitive level has also improved, and he found that there are many interesting things in this world.
But his sense of control is very poor, so at this time he will see his mother or other important caregivers more as his "safe base" and hope to feel safe at all times.
02
Respond appropriately
Understanding the psychological state behind the child's clinginess, we will not be impatient with the child's clinginess, but can deal with it correctly.
Give your child more love and attention
As children grow up, they are always confirming a sense of security, so parents should give their children continuous love and attention.
For the same needs of children, give a consistent response, do not hot and cold.
For clingy children, in fact, what parents have to do is to be more "sticky" to him - give the child a lot of hugs, kisses, don't worry about spoiling the child.
When accompanying children and talking to children, parents should pay attention, especially not to cope with children while looking at mobile phones.
Give your child a sense of certainty
If the child has recently become particularly clingy, parents are better off making life more regular.
For example, every day, at least one person goes home to accompany the child after work, has a fixed play time every night, takes the child to wash at a fixed time, tells the child a story, makes the child feel stable in life, and increases the child's sense of control.
If you need to leave your child temporarily, you can explain to your child what you are going to do and tell your child something certain.
For example, "I'm sure I'll be able to come back and tell you bedtime stories in a minute." "The baby sleeps with Grandma first, and I'll take you back to our room when I get back."
Of course, these promises of parents must be kept as they are told.
Protect your child's independence from sprouting
After the child is 1 year old, the sense of independence begins to sprout, such as liking to eat with a spoon by himself and not wanting to be carried away by others.
When the child has this independent tendency, parents should give the child encouragement in time.
For example, using words, expressions, actions, etc. to show praise for this behavior of the child, for example, you can praise the child: "The baby wants to eat by himself, it is really remarkable." ”
After that, give the child a hug, let the child be more bold and independent to explore, and reduce the excessive dependence on the parents.
03
Use the game for progressive separation
Parents may wish to use some games that their children are interested in to take a gradual approach to improve their children's stickiness.
Mini-game: "Audible"
The mother and the child are separated a little, and then the mother says a word and asks the child if he can hear;
Then a little farther away, the mother let the child speak, tell the child that she can hear;
The next step is to have the child hide out of the mother's sight and then talk to each other;
Then you can continue the conversation in different rooms...
This game will make the child understand that even if the mother is not visible, the mother is in the same space as him.
Small reminder: But remember, this is just a game, if you feel that your child has become less clingy because of such a game, you can try to let your child play alone for a while;
If you feel that your child has become more insecure because of this game, then pause the game and continue to stick with your child.
In the face of the child's clingy phenomenon, parents should understand his psychological needs, let him fully feel the attention and love of his parents, and then use the right method to help him develop independence