Text/Qianjiang tide catcher
"For the people closest to us, we rarely help, either we don't know how to help, or what we give is not what the other party needs, but we can still love them, even if we don't fully understand them, we can love them deeply." 」 ”
"Big River Love" makes me taste this sentence the most, and there is empathy and resonance. "Big River Love" is a film adapted from Professor Norman's autobiographical novel, which is an autobiographical novel written by the author Professor Norman based on personal experience, especially describing childhood and adolescence.
Writing about his family, before World War I, the clergyman McCaullian family in a small town by the Detroit River in Montana, usa, the words are full of rich emotional color and philosophy of life. He said that "only in memory can there be things that are always beautiful", and a family and a person like "a river of spring water flowing eastward" will not leave a mark of reality, and all memories only exist in the memories of loved ones. Until old age to death, it will be remembered, unforgettable, once a family, how many memories left in this world. Suddenly looking back, only the author's lonely self remains, and the big river that flows endlessly. Attachment to the big river, that is, the affection in the heart, the author's experience of fishing with his father and brother and his family.
Only in this great river, in the landscape can see the shadow of the years, whether it is sadness or happiness, only the author knows everything. Everyone, especially those who reach fifty, will have this feeling, and every time they return to their hometown, they can find their own shadows in the landscape of their hometown, and they will be screened in their minds like a movie.
Sigh the brevity of time, lament the separation of loved ones. You obviously know that your relatives lie peacefully on the mountains of your hometown, but there is unseen sorrow, so the landscape of your hometown is a kind of pain and a kind of love. Just like I love the banks of the Cao'e River, the years of mountain residence may no longer exist, only the years of childhood and youth, in the past years of life, you can see that the power of a kind of affection has been supporting your life, as if you are cared for by family affection in the dark.
Everyone's life is like a big river, some rivers are calm and calm, some rivers are turbulent, along the road full of reefs, but in any case, the river eventually enters the sea.
"Big River Love"
Norman: Still, Paul and I received as much fishing training as theological teachings. As a Presbyterian believer, my father believed that human nature is inherently evil and that only by acting according to God's will can we regain strength and beauty. For him, salmon, like eternal redemption, is god's grace, and that grace comes from art, which is hard-won.
Norman and his brother Paul were most taught by their father about false fly fishing and theology, but Norman recalls fishing for the majority. Fishing is an art, and beat fake fly fishing is an art. During the fishing, Norman and Paul also learned how to be human, attentive and meticulous, persistent and step-by-step. The eldest son, Norman, inherited his father's fishing method, while Paul created his own fishing method. From this, it can be seen that Norman is a decent person, according to his father's instructions, he can delete and revise his father's compositions over and over again, which shows Norman's patience and well-behavedness. Although he did not listen to his father in career choices, he worked as a college professor and did not work as a boxer and priest.
Paul was a rebellious and unfettered child, and as a child Paul was reluctant to use oatmeal as breakfast. His father scolded him, "Humans have eaten oats for thousands of years, and an eight-year-old child can't change all that." But under the stubborn confrontation, the father gave in, and this was the first time Paul showed his unruliness; he could fish without following his father's methods, and fish at his own unique beat; he could venture to sail in the rapids of the great river; he could find an Indian girl who was not tolerated by the world to be a lover; and even gambled a lot of debts, and finally he was killed. Therefore, although the education of parents affected the lives of the original brothers, they could not change their personalities, and each individual had his own unique life. Whether Paul's life was right or wrong, he loved his parents and brothers, he loved his hometown, he loved fishing. Paul became a fishing artist and was as addicted to fishing as he was addicted to gambling. So when Norman asked Paul to leave his hometown with him and go to Chicago with him, Paul wouldn't agree.
Everyone's life is like a big river, some rivers are calm and calm, some rivers are turbulent, along the road full of reefs, but in any case, the river eventually enters the sea. Every step in life is like a fishing line swung, there is a harvest or nothing, the harvest is more or less, do not mind, never foresee anything. Everyone is a river that flows through their own lives.
Growing up, it still played a decisive role, the same father's false fly fishing, the same father's strict educational methods, the result of which one became a fishing artist, one also fished like his father; one was obedient, and the other was rebellious. Although they are still because of family affection and mutual respect and mutual love. But Paul did not like the discipline of affection, moved out of the house to live separately from his parents, and changed his surname. He rarely went home because he didn't want to listen to his father's study conversations, but his father was proud of Paul's work as a local reporter, and his father wanted to care about Paul but couldn't.
As Father said to Norman, there are some people in our lives who, no matter how close we are to them, no matter how much we care about them, we are still powerless. But then I began to understand that no matter how much we didn't know them, we could at least love them.
Parents only silently give love to their children, and they cannot control their children's lives, and children have their own world, their own lives, and their own love when they grow up.
I think back to the time when my father and our brothers were in the pasture when my father managed the pasture of the production team, which was not long after the college entrance examination system was restored, and my father suddenly had more expectations for our future, so that the children of farmers could "carp jump the dragon gate", according to the local parlance, "the difference between grass shoes and leather shoes." "My father bought a tight idiom dictionary from Shanghai and asked my brother to recite the idiom and annotations with me every day.
For example, April and May are a good season for yellow eels in the fields, and under the flickering homemade kerosene lamps, the yellow eels that come out of the cave at night to forage for food become prisoners under our iron tongs. By the next morning, the rhubarb eel is selected to sell to the town's vendors, and perhaps it will become a delicacy on the table of the people in Shanghai in the evening. These are all fond memories of my childhood with my father and brother. The brother's idiom did not have a white back, and the public sent Liu Yang became a professor, but the work of forgetting himself now made him fall ill, not as happy and carefree as the rural life of his youth, and the original healthy posture had long been lost in the years and could not be found. Although they all work alone after separation, they all have their own world, so there is no childhood familiarity and understanding between brothers, and there are many misunderstandings and incomprehensions between each other, but family affection can never change, we should love each other.
Stills from "Big River Love"
In "Big River Love", there are memories of Norman's love, and his love story also takes place in his hometown. He returned from school, and during the days of his life in his hometown, he met Jesse, a beautiful girl he liked, at a party. Norman's love for Jesse is pure love, and it is obvious that Norman is not a veteran of the love scene, just like the shyness and uneasiness he feels when he calls his girlfriend on a date. Paul's pursuit of emotion is brave and rebellious. Paul's love for an Indian girl who sells bait shows Paul's rebellion. Paul's love is also a confrontation with social discrimination, although he is a local celebrity, easy to get the girl he likes, but he chose the Indian girl who refused to let in even the bar, which shows his hatred of racial discrimination and a silent rebellion against secular ideas.
But the two brothers also have commonalities, such as punctuality, such as attachment to things, not cynicism, but to take everything seriously. This can be seen from the brothers' disdain for Jesse's brother. Jesse's brother's punctuality and alcoholism, the agreed fishing did not succeed, and then the brothers did not care about him, but let him sunburn the skin, causing Jesse's anger, and his indifference to Norman and Paul. Fortunately, Jesse knew that Norman was a person who did not know how to play with life, and Paul was obviously bullying Jesse's brother. So Jesse also made a crazy move, driving a car on the train tracks, crossing through dark tunnels, jesse let Norman know her guts, she was a person who dared to love and hate. Also let Norman know how to call a bully. In the end, Norman gets Jesse's forgiveness, and Jesse tells Norman that a person should know how to tolerate, no matter how Jesse's brother pretends to be a successful person, he must also save face for him, and cannot look down on and trample on a person's dignity. This is another life experience that Norman gets, and unlike his father's harshness and seriousness, people need to be inclusive in their emotions.
In our emotional life, because of the personality differences between people, people's emotions are diverse and there is no similarity. There will be many contradictions and conflicts between people, especially young lovers, whose relationships will mostly rise and fall. You've definitely heard a friend say, "I blacklisted him or her today." "But you ask him or her if he or she is not a friend in a week, and he or she must say that he or she is a friend, and He or She adds it again and forgives it." This is a conflict of emotions, resulting in contradictions in the run-in process, and finally reaching a consensus. How to make love between men and women long-lasting and stable, pay attention to the following points:
First, omit the shortcomings, enlarge the advantages, see more of the advantages of the other party, and tolerate the shortcomings, in addition to making principled mistakes. Don't cling to a small shortcoming and deny the other person's advantages. Tolerance and respect, such love and marriage will last.
Second, common progress, common improvement, no matter whether the ideology and cultural accomplishment can match, there is a common ideal on the goal of struggle, like-minded people will be long-lasting.
Third, love each other's relatives and friends, and integrate into each other's lives. And can not be an exception or out of place in the other person's life, nor can there be the slightest sense of superiority.
That night, Norman stood alone in the big river fishing, and the only three people who had fished were the elderly him:
Whenever I stand in the shadows of the canyon, everything around me will gradually fade, becoming a memory of the depths of the soul that accompanies me, and also the sound under the great river. The river flows slowly, the sound of the river is like the music of four beats, and I am waiting for the fish to be hooked by the river. In the end, all of this comes together ---- a river that travels through time and life. The great rivers are flowing in all directions because of the torrential rain and high tide, and the river flows endlessly in the cornerstone of time. Some rocks have eternal raindrop marks on them. Beneath the rock are many untold stories. Paul their story is also in it. And everything in this big river still haunts me to this day...
Norman is leaving town to become a professor at the university, and Paul invites Norman to a tavern, and from Paul's refusal to participate in gambling and the disdainful eyes of Paul, Norman sees that Paul is not respected here, but Paul still wants to win back his money. Norman tolerated his brother's life and only persuaded him to leave the town. Norman said: Paul is different, his strength comes from his own body, he knows that he is better than anyone else.
Maybe in the dark Paul knew what was going to happen, Paul took the initiative to invite his father to go fishing with Norman for the last time, and Paul caught the largest red trout in their years, maybe all this was arranged by fate, Paul's fishing skills have been magical, maybe God wants to give them one last time together, leaving unforgettable memories, Norman recalled: "My brother stood in front of us, not on the bank of the Great Black River, he stood on the vast earth, not limited by the rules of time, It's like a work of art. ”
Everyone has a great river in their hearts, a rushing river of emotions. As long as you live, this big river will flow endlessly. Everything about emotion in everyone's memory is imprinted in the mind and does not fade. Just like Paul in his father's heart was so perfect, his fishing skills, his voice and smile. Although Paul died so tragically, and everything had a precursor, his rebellion, his stubbornness and the people around him were incompatible, dooming his fate to be unhappy. Maybe the paul I really know is a great fisherman, nothing more. "Not only that," my father said. "He's so beautiful."
Father and Norman still seem so close, and his shadow and presence can still be found by the big river. In his later years, Norman fished in the great river not just fishing, but in dialogue with the souls of his father and brother, as if fishing with them.
Years are also like a big river, which can flow us from childhood to old age, and then into the long river of time, each of us is a drop of water or a fish in the long river of time. We go through different stages at different ages, in different watersheds, and see different landscapes.
We often lament the brevity of life, but the mountains and rivers are still the same, and the years are still the same. There is a poetry cloud: "The ancients did not see the present time and the moon, but this month once looked at the ancients." How many emotions, how many past events, will pass with the river of time, how many people will issue the sigh of "the deceased is like a sifu, not giving up day and night".
Every year on the Qingming Festival, I will go back to my hometown to worship my relatives, stand on the mountain and watch the Cao'e River flow as always, watch the grass on the tomb of my relatives dry up and glory, time seems to go back to thirty years ago, there were many emotional stories, once had love and care, as if it happened yesterday, whenever I return to my hometown, whenever I stand in the mountains, a kind of emotion that is difficult to give up comes out of nowhere.
epilogue
"In fact we rarely give a helping hand to those we pity. We don't know what to give them, or what we can give is often not what they really need. These are those who are close to us but are running away from us... But we can still love them. Love them desperately. ”
McCaw serialized his last sermon. "Every one of us here will have a time when we look at our loved ones so helplessly and ask the same question." Lord, let me help him, but how? ’
Each of us is the most helpless thing to face our loved ones, because the more intimate the emotion, the more giving. Most of the interpersonal relationships can be done with ease, because there is no deep emotional precipitation, no responsibility for love, only in the face of family problems will be confused.
The people we love are perfect in our minds, so we can tolerate any shortcomings of our loved ones without thinking too much, but sometimes the heaviest emotions in our hearts do not necessarily get a perfect result like you give. But we definitely don't regret the emotions we give wholeheartedly, and we have paid it sincerely, and we are not ashamed. Our mind is as broad and open-minded as a great river, and this is enough.
Some people say: family affection is the snow on the top of Changbai Mountain, concise but permanent; family affection is the flowing water of the Tigris River, docile but long; family affection is the sunset of Sicily, and family affection is the inscription of the Mesopotamian plain, trance but timeless.
Let us cherish family affection, embrace family affection, live and not let the river of affection dry up, let it accompany our bodies and lives, flowing in our hearts.