Companionship, for a better separation

◎Text/Parents of Students in the China Department: He Xiaodong

He Xiaodong's family

As a two-child standard post-80s family, the second child is a fresh attempt for our whole family. We husband and wife have deeply experienced the loneliness and lack of companionship in growth, and such a growth process has a profound impact on the cultivation of a person's personality and physical and mental development. Therefore, we resolutely decided to make a difference in the growth process of our children.

Tian Tian and Youyou were both born in the imperial capital, and they are also considered to be stained with Beijing flavor, and their personalities are relatively atmospheric and wear-resistant. Later, because of work reasons, they moved back to Chengdu with our family, and both studied Meishi.

The two daughters are about to enter another stage of their studies in Meishi, the sister is about to enter the high school magic class after graduating from junior high school, and the younger sister will also enter the upper grade of primary school. Looking back at the children's growth process from the landing to the present, their growth process is also our growth process. Every moment of living and growing up with children is precious and cannot be repeated. We are honored to have this opportunity to write something to them, bit by bit, with a lot of emotion, and to learn from the kings.

Our attachment: I want to study at Meishi until I graduate from high school

My sister has been studying at Meishi since the second semester of the first grade, and my sister has followed her all the way since elementary school. Looking back on the past 8 years, the growth of children and our growth are closely related to Meishi. Here, the sister transforms from a toddler to a teenager, and the younger sister is catching up.

Thanksgiving Beauty is a relaxed but self-disciplined learning and living environment provided by children, so that children can feel freedom and love and attachment in this environment, so that both children want to study in Meishi until they graduate from high school. We also talk about learning, children do not hate deeply, do not reject, but want to learn, want to learn well, have subjective initiative, hone to form their own personality.

And, of course, there are the respectable and hard-working gardeners, the teachers who take care of their children's lives. In the compulsory education stage, it is the children's blessing to meet these positive, positive, self-disciplined and self-motivated teachers.

There is no perfect school, and what suits you is the best. I think that years from now, not only the children, but we will also have a lot of attachment to this place.

Reconcile with yourself: Every child is a unique creature

Parents are often full of endless expectations for the birth of their children. Their lives are a clean blank sheet of paper with the possibility of being molded into any direction. At this time, children are our infinite hope, and we are looking forward to their future where everything is possible.

Now that I think about it, before my daughters went to elementary school, it was the most harmonious time in family life. They are the jewels in our hands, cute, lively, mischievous, but obedient and willing to follow the advice of their parents. As time slowly progressed, they also gradually had their own ideas, formed their own personalities, did not act exactly according to our expectations, and became a bit "sharp" in adult words. At this stage, parents will inevitably talk about school grades, and often compare other children with their own children, so they often fall into a sometimes complacent, sometimes depressed tangled mood.

Entering junior high school, the adjustment of educational methods makes children feel that they are no longer the pearls in the palm of teachers and parents, but need to start working in the direction of adults. Need to be sensible, need self-discipline, need to compete, need to develop interpersonal relationships, and often need to face things alone. As they enter puberty, parents can help them share less and less, and communication with each other gradually becomes less. In the eyes of parents, children will suddenly become silent, "not fun", and even difficult to communicate.

We all go through these necessary stages of child-rearing. At the beginning of raising our first child, we took many detours due to lack of experience. The birth of our sister allows us to go through each of the above stages again, and in the process, we also fully appreciate the uniqueness of each living body.

The sister is introverted and quiet, the younger sister is outgoing and lively; the sister is meticulous and meticulous, and the younger sister is more rugged and big; the sister likes to paint and read, the younger sister likes to swim and dance; the sister prefers her own inner world, and the younger sister pays more attention to those people and things in the outside world. Two children raised in the same family can have such a big difference in all aspects, let alone otherwise. When we get used to avoiding comparison, we will find that the atmosphere of the whole family becomes more harmonious, we are more able to accept the shortcomings of our children, think differently, and sisters are more friendly and helpful.

In the end, we have "reconciled" with ourselves.

Grow up with your child

At the beginning of parenthood, the way to educate people is inevitably green. But only after becoming a parent can we deeply appreciate the intentions and difficulties of our parents. In the process of raising children, we will have a lot of reflection and understanding from the bits and pieces.

Parent-child relationship is only one of our life relationships, and raising children is only a part of our lives. We can love and give as much as we can, but we can never accompany them through the whole journey, just like our parents.

Children are actually a reflection of their parents, and the shadow of their parents can be found in each child, for better or worse. How we treat our children today is related to their future life situation and direction.

We both have our own career plans, and we hope that in the eyes of our children, we are independent beings for each other.

When we maintain self-improvement, children also metamorphose, become more independent, have their own ideas, and learn to make their own decisions. Of course, we will give children enough love and companionship, but we must let them understand that everything needs to be fought for by themselves, and only by paying can they be rewarded.

Taking children on a trip and discovering the wonders of the world can help them form a rich enough imagination, cultivate their open mind, and not drill the horns when things go wrong. Today, the footprints of the two ladies have spread to several continents, which has a great impact on their hearts.

Every child should have their own bookcase, and while we read books, we often recommend good books to them, which is their exclusive territory and can be allowed to soar.

Grow up with the children, give them more positive driving and lead by example, give each other enough space, and believe that the children will be able to do it. At the same time, it also makes them understand that their parents cannot accompany them throughout life, and they have to help each other and love each other step by step to keep moving forward.

Please let your child grow up slowly

Wu Bei wrote a book about Waldorf education called "Please Let Me Grow Up Slowly.".

I was very touched. Looking back on my childhood and youth, I have the opportunity to be in full contact with nature, to wander in the countryside and play in the mountains, and to fully appreciate the meaning of play. Of course, the word cram school has no chance to appear at all, and the weekend is definitely a free time, and the future is also full of infinite expectations and curiosity.

Time has changed, and the children have to face a completely different situation today. To learn a lot of things ahead of time, the time that belongs to your own play is seriously squeezed. Under all kinds of pressure, it is easy for us to pick up seedlings and be too hasty, as if this matter is not handled well, and the whole world will collapse. But how useful can such anxiety be for children? In the education of children, the calm and calm of parents is crucial.

I hope that children can have more time to exercise their physique, develop hobbies, do the stupid things to do, and take a detour. Please let the children grow up slowly, in their time, to experience and learn what that era should have.

Companionship is also a problem that I have to overcome at present, because of the assignment, I can only guarantee to go home once a month, usually mainly my mother and grandmother take care of them, but in addition to making full use of the time I go home every time, I will also maintain the communication of online stitches and needles every night. We don't do it perfectly, but when we put aside our distractions and do it with our hearts, children can feel that no matter where we are, we will be connected. And we firmly believe that if we continue to do it, the future of our children will be full of imagination.

The child's mother said, do the math, how much time do we have with the children? From birth to the primary school stage is more, junior high school began to be few, and then go back, high school, college began to travel...

Agree, our companionship is for a better part. Please cherish the time when we still "have" children, let go of anxiety and parental authority, get along well with them, and believe that the future can be expected.

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