01
Ostrich mentality of husband becomes mother-in-law "lubricant"
After having a child, the in-laws naturally live together and come to help with the child.
The difference between the old man and our living habits naturally produces too much friction and mixing.
"How can you buy white clothes for your children again?" White clothes children are dirty as soon as they wear them, and they have to wash them? Why not buy red, children, especially little girls, have to wear red clothes? ”
"How come you two are buying things from the Internet again, what are you doing when you buy such things, and you just know how to spend money?" When I unpacked the courier, I looked at my mouth and didn't forget to nag...
"After eating, I sat on the couch and didn't know how to clean up the dishes!" You work more, my son is so tired from business trips every day, we are here to watch the children, you have to do more housework! ”
The mother-in-law of the traditional concept is always interfering in the affairs of my daughter-in-law, educating me with her own concepts, and there is constant friction and small quarrels in life.
At first, I would complain to my husband, who shrugged his shoulders and said, "You are too calculating, on the one hand is you, on the other side is my mother, what do you want me to do?" ”
Ostrich-mentality husband, in order to avoid getting himself involved in the storm, silently ignored the dispute between me and my mother-in-law.
I talked to my husband before going to bed one day: "Husband, you drink tea and play games every night, no matter my mother's quarrels and contradictions, the ostrich mentality of not paying attention to it, makes me a little chilly." I work to make no less money than you, come back to take care of the children, but also do housework, and do not want to always complain to you because of a small matter, I also hate myself. The traditional concept of the mother's elders is different from ours, I know, after a lifetime of hard life to save money, I also understand, do not blame her, blame is your way of handling.
Next, there is a project, I just need to travel for a month, the day still needs the two of us to live well, you can completely do me and my mother's lubricant, only to avoid not solving the back will have more big problems. ”
The marriage of two people needs more communication and management, and after returning from a business trip, the two of us work together.
Change the new mobile phone, tell the mother-in-law that the work is good, the company rewards, the mother-in-law is not distressed. The replacement of the old mobile phone to her, the husband took the initiative to teach her to play vibrato, fast hand, she also found her favorite to pass the time, but also from the video to take the initiative to learn a variety of fancy pasta, cooking skills are getting better and better.
The clothes mother-in-law always after washing, not folding a mess together, and finally the same as not washing. I took the initiative to communicate with my husband, he would change the way and say to his mother-in-law: "Mom, you see you washing clothes and hanging clothes is not convenient, after the clothes wait for us to come back to collect themselves, put away directly in the wardrobe!" You see now you are tired to collect, do not know how we classify, come back we also have to do more, you are less tired, go out for a walk, we can collect it ourselves! ”
The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is inevitable for married women.
At this time, we must learn to communicate more, openly and honestly say their ideas, ask him to recognize the fact that "if you don't deal with it, the problem will not be solved automatically", please put himself in the position of the two most beloved women and think about it, not to be an ostrich, to become the lubricant of the mother-in-law!
02
The more pampered you are, the worse it gets, turning pet into participation
I don't know if you have the same experience and thoughts as me.
When I first got married, my husband saw that I was about to go to the kitchen to wash the dishes, and hurried forward to help: "Look at you are tired today, and I made a big meal, and I will wash the dishes for a while." ”
I smiled and said, "I'm not sure, you can't wash the dish soap." ”
Then I said, "You go and change the sheets and covers, it's time to change." ”
When I was busy coming to the bedroom and found that my husband had finished laying out the sheets and quilt covers, I opened the quilt and looked at the bottom: "How do you lay it, you look at the sheets, you have the reverse of the two ends, you look at the quilt cover, the corners are wrinkled, how can it be comfortable to cover it?" ”
Again and again, and I, again, is a quick temper, my husband has a slow temper, and the days pass day by day, and the sweetness fades day by day.
"When I got home, I played a game on Erlang's legs and waited for dinner, and when I was done, I threw the dishes and chopsticks towards the kitchen, and I threw things everywhere, and my clothes were not washed, so I thought what I was doing, just a maid who worked!" I also go to work for why I do it! "Angry and aggrieved.
Finally, one day the quarrel went crazy: "Obviously, both of us are at work, and when you get home, you know that you play games and drink tea, like a grandfather, why is it all mine?" ”
He was dumbfounded: "You didn't tell me to do it?" You don't feel at ease about what I do, you don't think I'm doing a good job! ”
Later, I was promoted to department manager, with two interns, let them do it, whether it was good or bad, I would not do it myself, but give them guidance, and soon they became my right-hand man, and I was much more relaxed.
Through that incident, I talked openly and honestly with my husband, and it was I myself who spoiled my husband and spoiled him into a grandfather who now does nothing and waits for the opening of his hand.
Now, when I work, I will let him participate, and I will also make a clear division of labor.
Change the sheets and quilt covers, and we will be together. The dishes are not in a hurry, and will let him brush them later.
For example, in the current part-time writing, it takes about 3 hours to read and write after going to work every day.
Before starting this part-time job and preferences, I talked to my husband, who would take care of the children more and set aside time for me.
Today's article is that we came to the mall with our children, he took the children to the amusement park in the mall to play, I wrote articles in cafes...
Love cannot be only in words and words, but always in deeds and honesty.
Learn to involve him.
If you don't want your husband to be spoiled, when you are giving, let the other party participate, can not participate in it, but also let him know, know how to appreciate! When he participates, be more patient, more praise and encouragement! Otherwise, endless giving is often not exchanged for harvest, but full of grievances!
03
Manage the marriage, work hard, and play a different marriage with a simple music
I like a sentence: what cards are destined to be taken in the life card game, and how to play the cards is already in the hands.
The same goes for marriage.
Marriage it is very real, it is a symphony of chai rice oil and salt pots and pans...
Marriage is like a glass, marriage is like a glass, which can contain a cup of light and tasteless boiled water, a cup of coffee with a long aftertaste, a cup of sweet juice, or a beautiful cocktail.
However, the glass is fragile, can not withstand a little blow, broken, it is difficult to collect.
At the age of 30, I learned to be more patient, more open and honest communication, more understanding, more encouragement, more participation; less criticism, less cold violence, less emotion.
Precipitate yourself, be a warm person, have your own preferences, have your own persistence, manage and cherish your marriage.
Compose ordinary but intoxicating warm tunes in chai rice oil and salt, and operate different fireworks!
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