A play, a role, two marriages, eight years of worship, ten years of business...
Her life has only gone 41 spring and autumn; her life is not tragic.
1.
But whenever Chen Xiaoxu is mentioned, there are always two words: Lin Daiyu & Tragic Life.
However, 14 years later, looking at this "fairy" left behind in the world, we found that her body was mythologically tragic, but it was just our imagination.
On May 13, 2007, when the computer was turned on, the ubiquitous news of Chen Xiaoxu's death came into view, and people were stunned.
"Sister Lin", who has been out of the family for less than 3 months, has left forever.
This is an indescribable pain for fans of the 87th edition of "Dream of the Red Chamber".
It is also this pain that makes many people firmly believe: Chen Xiaoxu is Lin Daiyu.
She has Daiyu's sentimentality, Daiyu's poetic temperament, Daiyu's eccentricity, and Daiyu's "sick beauty" appearance characteristics.
But she is not Lin Daiyu, and her entire life course is by no means a Daiyu-style tragedy that can be conclusively determined.
Before Chen Xiaoxu was born, her mother had a fetal dream in which an old man with white hair named her unborn daughter.
Because there was a "Fen" in the name, the mother felt that it was too rustic and ignored it.
However, his father inquired about the origin of the name, and as a result, an old man who was proficient in the I Ching told him that this name was Lin Daiyu's life.
After hearing this, her father immediately changed her a beautiful name - Xiaoxu, which means the dawn of the rising sun.
In this way, Chen Xiaoxu was born. It is not a big family on the rich side, nor is it a poor family at the end of the road.
Chen Xiaoxu's father, Chen Qiang, worked as a director in the Anshan Peking Opera Troupe, and his mother, Wang Yuanxi, was a dancer.
Chen Xiaoxu also has a younger sister who is four years younger than her, Chen Xiaoyang.
Compared with his sister's liveliness and cheerfulness, Chen Xiaoxu's personality is more idyllic.
Although her diploma is not high, she has been fascinated by books since she was a child, and at the age of 14, she published poems in magazines.
Her parents hoped that she could inherit her father's business and develop in the direction of Peking Opera, but she was stubborn and preferred ballet.
At the age of 12, she can do the difficult action of the white-haired woman kicking the purple and gold crown backwards.
Unfortunately, after passing all the ballet examinations, he had to give up because the political trial failed.
In 1979, Chen Xiaoxu entered the Anshan Repertory Theatre, and her daily work was to practice and play some supporting roles in addition to the curtain.
At that time, she did not know that her favorite "Dream of the Red Chamber" would be put on the screen in the form of a TV series.
2.
In 1983, Xiao Xu, who had been working in the drama troupe for 4 years, watched the news that the "Dream of the Red Chamber" crew was selecting actors across the country on the "Popular Television" delivered by her boyfriend Bi Yanjun.
"Dream of the Red Chamber" is a classic that Chen Xiaoxu has read and read; Lin Daiyu is the love of Chen Xiaoxu's heart.
She remembered the verses of Lin Daiyu that she had copied in her notebook, and her mind could not help but see Lin Daiyu appear on the screen.
But I can't think of anything, what kind of image should the real Lin Daiyu be?
At this time, the boyfriend took a pen and paper and asked her to write a letter of recommendation for herself to play Lin Daiyu.
After a little hesitation, the letter was written, and the boyfriend found her photos and published poems and put them together in the envelope of the letter of recommendation.
In the matter of self-nomination to play Lin Daiyu, Chen Xiaoxu was not too confident at first.
After all, the selection is carried out throughout the country, and the competition is self-evident.
Although I received a handwritten reply from the director, my inner anxiety has not stopped since I learned about the shooting of "Dream of the Red Chamber".
In the spring of 1984, Chen Xiaoxu's waiting was responded to, and the crew invited her to participate in the "Dream of the Red Chamber" actor training class.
Happy and sad, she is not the only candidate for Lin Daiyu.
In the competition played by the crew in the role of Lin Daiyu, Xiaoxu took the third place, which means that there are more promising candidates than her in the first two.
Just when she was extremely annoyed and remorseful that she had not been able to play well, Lin Daiyu's role really became hers.
Chen Xiaoxu knows that most of the reasons for such an opportunity is that his image and temperament are most consistent with it.
So she was still worried all the time, she not only had to act, but also had to melt.
Can't play the piano, you can find a teacher to learn now. The white earrings were forgotten and could be applied to the paint in an emergency.
But the pride and sorrow in Daiyu's bones, how will she melt?
In "Three Years in a Dream" written by Chen Xiaoxu, the scene of Dai Yu's burial of flowers was mentioned.
She really couldn't play the essence of Daiyu's funeral flowers, so she was immersed in grief and couldn't extricate herself, and it was precisely because she couldn't play Daiyu well that she was hurt, so that this scene became the point where she and Daiyu blended together.
The 87th edition of "Dream of the Red Chamber", from the actors entering the group to study, to the official broadcast, took three years. This is not counting the preparation of the preparatory team, the establishment of the screenwriting team, and the preparation of the early actor audition.
3.
Nowadays, the 87th edition of "Dream of the Red Chamber" has been replayed more than a thousand times, and many actors who have been popular all over the country have rarely appeared on the screen.
Many people believe that the experience of starring in "Dream of the Red Chamber" has made their lives more or less mysterious. Among them, the most tragic is Chen Xiaoxu, who plays Lin Daiyu.
Of the actors of the 87th edition of "Dream of the Red Chamber", only two of them played their ideal roles as they wished, one was Deng Jie, who played Wang Xifeng, and the other was Chen Xiaoxu.
The cost of getting what you want is often beyond people's imagination.
How extraordinary is the book "Dream of the Red Chamber"?
Piano and chess calligraphy and painting, human sophistication, garden landscape, clothing and jewelry, food and living...
From the cultural background to the three steels, everything needs to be examined one by one, which is not only a challenge to the director, but also a test for the actors.
The role of Lin Daiyu, to play it really, really has to work hard.
Chen Xiaoxu's obsession with Lin Daiyu, from the beginning of his youth to the fusion of the Red Chamber crew, almost everything in his life began with such a fictional character.
How much does she know about this role in order to create a classic that is difficult for future generations to overcome?
And it is this understanding that makes it difficult for her to get out of it.
After "Dream of the Red Chamber", Chen Xiaoxu also played Cousin Mei in "Family Spring and Autumn" and The Little Sister in "Black Grapes".
But these two roles have not allowed her acting career to reach a higher peak.
Acting like Lin Daiyu, she clearly realized that Lin Daiyu was her peak and her trough.
As she said, "I don't know if I'm acting too well or if I'm acting too badly, and there are very few suitable plays that come to me anyway." I think that "Dream of the Red Chamber" made me see a very wonderful world, and then it closed the door to me, and I couldn't have more development in my acting career. ”
Therefore, in Lin Daiyu's ideal world and the real world we are in, Chen Xiaoxu only did one thing in the years when he was red and purple, that is, he tried to find balance from it.
At the end of the 90s, the boom of "Dream of the Red Chamber" had not faded, and Chen Xiaoxu had quietly withdrawn from the circle and opened an advertising agency with her husband Hao Tong.
The sentence "Three thousand years of incense intoxicating the world, the famous show - Wuliang Spring" came from her hand.
4.
From sister Lin, who did not eat fireworks in the world, to the strong woman in the business world, she used it for more than ten years.
But even in those years of restless fame, she could only rely on her father's help to survive.
Later, she joined Great Wall International Advertising Co., Ltd., where she started from scratch.
Five years later, she chose to leave the Great Wall and founded Shibang, which is worth more than 100 million.
In those years, she also received many awards.
2005-2006 China's Top Ten Most Beautiful Female Advertisers, China's 2005 Economic Figures, 2004-2005 China's 30 Outstanding Female Advertisers...
Before her death, in addition to the stills of the 87th edition of "Dream of the Red Chamber" and the photos of the crew's life during the shooting, it was difficult for people to see her other photos, and there were few news about her.
From this point of view, Chen Xiaoxu is a person who is willing to create and live in his own small world.
There was a company that wanted to pay 600,000 yuan for her portrait rights, but it was rejected.
Journalists who knew their father visited the door three times and also ate the closed door soup.
Obviously, Chen Xiaoxu in the Shang Hai still maintained Lin Daiyu's wind bone.
She's the kind of boss who rarely sees customers but makes them willing to deal with her.
Her first business after founding Shibang was not her own, but the customer took the initiative to find the door.
The phrase "I know Sister Lin won't lie to me" became a stepping stone for her to open the company's sales channels.
It can be seen that Lin Daiyu is indeed a topic that is difficult to avoid in her life.
After the company grew stronger, by chance, she became acquainted with the Buddha.
She set aside a room in her residence to worship the Buddha.
Suddenly, one day, she told her family that she was going to leave home.
The family's first reaction at that time was the same as that of others.
But even if she was stunned, it could not change her decision.
However, no one expected that Chen Xiaoxu, who had long been silent in the show business circle, would choose to become a monk when his career was successful and his family was harmonious.
What is even more amazing is that less than three months after her renunciation, she passed away.
She had breast cancer long before she left home.
But she refused the operation, and in her mind, receiving the operation was equivalent to the destruction of the body.
She didn't want to be an incomplete person, even at the cost of an early death.
About the time in people's consciousness, monasticism is equivalent to seeing through the red dust, and behind the red dust, there are often pains that ordinary people can't imagine.
Therefore, people often conclude Xiaoxu's life with tragedy.
5.
Lin Daiyu, monasticism, cancer, these keywords around her, are the basis for people's conclusions about her tragedy.
But in fact, once people rise to a certain height, they are no longer stuck to reality.
Chen Xiaoxu only lived for 41 spring and autumn months, and she has wealth, fame and glory that are difficult for ordinary people to reach in their lifetime.
But she was not happy, and she thought that by giving her family a rich material life, she would be able to achieve happiness.
Reality told her that in order to maintain this wealth and glory, she could only get busier and busier, so busy that time with her family was becoming more and more limited.
Her ideal life, quiet and natural.
Outside of work, she wants to spend more time with her parents; the ability to help others; and the ability to face everyone more purely.
Putting aside Lin Daiyu's aura, she wanted to return to Daiyu's ideal world, but she couldn't completely detach herself from the real world in front of her.
When she became famous, her meaning in the real world has been realized.
Next, she can fully live in her ideal world.
"I believe that when you have no worries about food and clothing, you will think of pursuing Lin Daiyu again, because Lin Daiyu lives a realm." If you can satisfy a plain and innocent life, then you can choose Xue Baochao. But I think anyone, he's only going to pursue spiritual stuff after he's done his initial stage of pursuit. At this time, Lin Daiyu is your high-level pursuit, but you have not yet reached that stage, you have not found out. ”
This passage reveals Chen Xiaoxu's truest thoughts, but the arrival of cancer has advanced the matter of renunciation.
To this day, I still feel that Lin Daiyu is only Chen Xiaoxu and is her spiritual teacher.
She can make her pursue the ideal world at the same time, but not too stubborn, not to give up lightly.
Compared with Daiyu, the world she grew up in is more inclusive, and her family is not as solid as Daiyu, but it is also a literary and artistic home for small wealth and peace.
She has a pair of able-bodied parents who have kept her world away from Daiyu's loneliness and sending people under the fence.
She has Daiyu's sorrow and sorrow, but without Daiyu's love, her world is more open-minded and more inclusive.
Her life was mythologized as daiyu's "possession". But in fact, compared with Daiyu, she has no regrets.
She loves Daiyu, but she is not "trapped" in Daiyu. She is still Chen Xiaoxu.