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"Those Years, the Girl We Chased Together" Chinese Nine Knives
Soybean Watch Movie | Episode 24
Text | Lin Yihua
| Lin Yihua press: |
In the speaking creativity class, a classmate shared a childhood experience:
"I forgot how old I was, when I was about five or six years old, and my parents used to say I picked it up." Every night after climbing into bed, their words kept circling in my head. After that, I began to observe myself and spent a lot of time every day looking in the mirror to see how different I was from them and what the difference was. Because when I was a child, I watched a lot of TV dramas and story books, and I would talk about how the stepmother or stepfather treated the child who was not his own child. I was affected by this, and in addition to the fear that my parents might really be adoptive parents, I had different fantasies, imagining why my parents picked me up or where I was going to pick me up."
This kind of thinking should be something that many people have had, including myself.
As a child, I would occasionally think that if I was really picked up, there would be better living conditions somewhere, and my parents, who bought me more toys, were waiting to bring me back. Thinking about it, I began to ask a rhetorical question, if there is such a day, what choice will I make? Will you regret it? Even the feelings between brothers are taken into account: parents have changed, and the partners who grew up together are willing to give up?
But in any case, these childhood "thinking" is rarely separated from the same point: "love".
It can be due to a lack of love, or it can be a desire for more love, and we mostly start to make the little head move for this reason.
1
Some people say that growing little boys and little girls will naturally disagree on the way they think.
Most of what boys think about when they are young is related to "action", such as what games to play with their partners, how to bully girls to achieve a sense of accomplishment, or how to distinguish between high and low wins and losses with annoying people. Behind the question mark, everything is related to talent, physical fitness, and competition.
What the little boy cares about, in a word, is the "how" of finding a way — that is, the basic rules of survival that society has always encouraged people to follow.
And this kind of survival law, which can be said to develop according to the "male" mode of thinking, has been strongly promoted by our education system, thus instilling in most people the concept called "law", that is, no matter what happens, "more talking" is "useless", and the best attitude to face them is to solve the problem with extreme speed and the lowest cost "method", in short, everything is "pragmatic".
2
But the nature of gender can also be changed by society. If women are naturally romantic, but with the change of times, today's girls have adapted, and even like boys, they are willing to pursue a "how" mode of thinking to deal with emotional entanglements.
Logically, if such an attitude really signifies that the two sexes are moving forward on the basis of the synchronization of ideas and ideas, then doesn't the theory that men and women come from which star each comes from is a thing of the past?
On the contrary, "how" is still an external skill learned, and women still remember "why". It's like the one who loves "her" when she is loved, but still asks the one who loves "her," "Why did you choose me?"
The reason is that although women today have the right to sit on an equal footing with men in many ways, they really have to deal with the value of existence, "Who am I?" The doubts of the sinus are still like shadows. Or it should be said that from an early age, the ultimate question mark that girls are trained to think about is actually "Who am I?"
Because she must belong to someone, to a certain group, "she" can find the next question mark in the sense of acceptance: "Who am I?" To extend the "Am I the only one?"
"To be loved," that is, to be affirmed in the beloved: "I love you because you are you." Although it will not completely stop women's lifelong repeated trips in the "why", it can at least alleviate their anxiety out of "self-identity crisis".
3
The "who" who dominates women's thinking becomes the "subject" who is anti-customer-oriented.
Even if this person has no eyes, no face, and no body, as long as the so-called "True Destiny" does not appear for a day, its shadow will be shrouded for a long time, so that the inner instability of women cannot be eliminated.
This anxiety is particularly easily reflected in film and television culture and related commercial products. In recent years, the "leftover women" storm that has been raging in recent years is to use a "tide language" to achieve the illusion that women must fill the emptiness of "encountering and not being even" with consumption.
Paradoxically, on the one hand, women know that ideal men are rare in reality, on the other hand, society spares no effort to build the image of men more and more tall.
Although this contrast is also "inevitable": the more the male self-image shrinks in daily life, the more heroic psychology on the screen expands, and the final result is only one:
Women are thrown into the fictional world waiting for the person they want to find her.
4
What about boys? Actions learned from an early age are better than words: "chasing" with actions.
The Taiwanese youth film "Those Years, the Girl We Chased Together" was a big hit at the box office, teaching how many "otaku" who did not dare to make a mistake saw the eyebrows dancing under the screen, precisely because the movie fully met their requirements for self-ability: even if there was no practical action, they had to know "how to chase".
Men will put themselves in the position of "hunters", but women are neither willing to be "prey" (otherwise there would be no "princess disease"), nor are they willing to turn their heads and imagine themselves as "hunters", "Those Years" is a "love film" that works just as well in their eyes, because the heroine in the film is no different from all ordinary girls, and can think from "what is romance?" Enjoy the pleasure of being a "woman" (in order to store love in your heart and be old and strong)
5
It's just that some people on the screen take the initiative and some people passively "love", but in reality, it is more likely that "the enemy does not move, I do not move", and then the two sides are "difficult to move".
The confrontation between the two sexes in their positions has caused them to "miss" on the road of feelings. Yet they prefer to believe that the time is wrong, the demands are wrong, and even the object is not right. Similar to blind spots, should they be solved with "how" or "why"?
Imagine that everyone has two reference books in front of them, one called "How" and the other called "Why", and the more popular one should be the former. Whoever lives in a society that emphasizes practical benefits in everything, there are many people who are calculating the immediate gains and losses, and there are fewer people who pursue to gallop in the field of thought.
6
However, for a lonely person whose object is zero, even if you ask "how" many times, you may not immediately meet Mr. or Miss To.
As for those who have fixed contacts, once they find that they have contradictions due to insufficient understanding of each other, the "how" of thinking about them is also a symptom but not a cure, because the emotional problem really has difficult and complicated diseases, and the medicine that one person is willing to take alone cannot cure the disease of two people - is it not said "A's elixir, B's arsenic"?
Since emotions cannot be solved with "how", why are most people still reluctant to ask "why" a few times from shallow to deep?
7
To think about the "why" in relation to emotion, one must trace the history of one's emotional cognition.
As we all know, a person's emotional appearance is rarely from the family, parents. It's just that Chinese children, unlike Western children, are encouraged to actively express their inner joys and sorrows from the enlightenment stage, so they learn to interact frankly with others earlier.
In contrast, in Chinese society, the biggest driving force of emotion is often "responsibility". Just as the love of a parent is reciprocated, there is only "one" way that is most recognized: obedience (aka "obedience").
However, when love becomes negative because it is reduced to conditional constraints, loving and being loved may become two parties who play a struggle for rights and obligations.
Chinese ethical relationship has always been inseparable from power over emotion, so that children's feelings for their parents are often out of superficial "awe" and "fear" behind their backs, so the word "filial piety" also carries the color of "letting go of the self": know "how", do not ask "why".
8
And because our parents' encouragement to us becomes the requirements we have made of ourselves since childhood, these requirements are inevitably internalized into psychological pressure by various external reasons , such as economic pressure — in the process of growing up.
In order to escape the shackles of pressure, the sense of responsibility for parents is slowly alienated into the "alienation" of love. It is not only others who are "alienated", but also themselves, which is that fantasy is more engaging, and the truth is only the reason for "catching guests": only the former can make us fall in love with ourselves again by falling in love with the object.
9
Western psychology tells us that the "lover" we seek always has the conditions that we lack, so we think that we love someone, but in fact we are suffering to eat it all, and we are filling the "me" that is insufficient in self-consciousness.
This compensatory psychological origin comes from urinating and affecting our growth - unless the family never makes us feel that we are "picked up" (not good enough), it is difficult for purely heartfelt love to blossom in reality, because the word "love" always carries too much family and society, so that tradition imposes an "unbearable weight" on our shoulders.
10
That comes back to the most chaotic question: What is pure love? For me, the creator, it is no different from the principle of pursuing originality.
Pure love, like creative works, is so rare in reality – today when someone wants to write a script or start making a movie, the most important thing is the means ("how") rather than the end ("why"), and in love, everyone pays attention to the result ("how") and often forgets the original intention ("why").
Perhaps "romance films" and "romance novels" have long become the template of "love", so that the pursuit of "love" is often to see that others have it and feel that they need the same, rather than sincerely asking "what is love?".
11
The acclaim of "The Girl We Chased Together" was magnified under the microscope of this era, and I am afraid that we will be taught to see more phenomena than love itself:
In the pure love years of others, it will only reflect the eyes of more "orphans": happiness has nothing to do with me (who I am not yet known).
And those of us who have watched the movie must not ignore the metaphor: what does the male protagonist's father and son wear when eating?
It is frank and red striped and wears nothing.
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quiet
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Produced by Ming Jiang
Co-produced by Baishen Media