In the autumn breeze, Ms. Wang Zhen, a researcher at Hangzhou Shangcheng District Education College, came to Hangzhou Chunhui Primary School Education Group to bring practical and effective parent-child communication skills to the friends of Chunhui Primary School and Xixing Experimental Primary School.
Wang Zhen, Senior Middle School Teacher, Master of Education of Zhejiang University, Master of Master of Hangzhou Normal University, Member of Hangzhou Primary and Secondary School Moral Education Expert Database, Counselor of Family Education Hotline of Hangzhou Municipal Education Bureau.
As a professional psychology expert, Ms. Wang has rich experience in front-line practice and endless parenting wisdom. In the autumn breeze, Ms. Wang Zhen, a researcher at Hangzhou Shangcheng District Education College, came to Hangzhou Chunhui Primary School Education Group to bring practical and effective parent-child communication skills to the friends of Chunhui Primary School and Xixing Experimental Primary School.
At the beginning of the lecture, Ms. Wang shared a video showing the fierce conflict between adolescent children and their parents. Then, Teacher Wang put forward the "love test" and the verbal records of parents and children, showing the gap between parents' experience and children's experience, and guiding parents to further think about the importance of knowing children, understanding children, and communicating correctly.
Teacher Wang stood in the child's perspective and showed the child's inner world through the record of CCTV's "Mirror". Based on rich knowledge and experience, Teacher Wang summed up the "five major misunderstandings" of parents in parent-child education: ratio, urgency, forced, abandonment, and package, that is, comparing their own children with excellent children, feeling that their children are not as good as other children, excessively prolonging the children's learning time, easily discouraged and giving up, and taking care of the children's affairs.
In the face of the problem of parent-child communication, Teacher Wang summarized the characteristics of children's physical and mental development from a macroscopic perspective, and then pointed out the importance of the primary school stage on the basis of the stage of social and psychological development. In elementary school, children develop a sense of self-worth through peer communication, which has an important impact on children's lifelong self-identity.
Teacher Wang pointed out that the primary school stage is the four key periods of children's growth:
First, the cultivation period of behavioral habits. Teacher Wang stressed that behavioral habits have a lifelong impact on children, and to implement education well, it is necessary to implement learning habits.
Second, the sudden period of emotion and emotion. Teacher Wang explained that children enter puberty around the age of 10, self-awareness and sexual awareness begin to awaken, pay more attention to personality and emotional characteristics, pay attention to appearance and signs, and attach importance to learning ability. Teacher Wang stressed that children in this period especially need the respect and recognition of parents, rather than stimulation and criticism.
Third, the high incidence of children's boredom. Children's self-awareness and thinking ability continue to develop, and the difficulty of learning is also increasing, so children need more guidance and encouragement from their parents.
Fourth, the critical period for the stereotyping of children's academic performance. Parents should guide their children to experience the joy of learning and help them build confidence in learning.
On the basis of explaining how to correctly understand the physical and mental characteristics of children, Teacher Wang further explained how to correctly handle the parent-child relationship. Teacher Wang humorously pointed out that parents are not educators, but "coaches" and "cheerleaders".
Then, Teacher Wang combined research analysis with practical cases to explain how to carry out high-quality accompaniment from three perspectives:
1. Listen carefully. Parents should focus and patiently listen to their children's words, maintain empathy, put themselves in the other person's shoes, and use encouraging verbal and body language.
2. Say it wisely. Teacher Wang pointed out that listening is the premise of dialogue, saying that it is the feedback of listening. Parents should praise, encourage, and use "my message." Speakers should, on the basis of having sufficient information, talk about methods, processes, and occasions when communicating, so as to obtain mutual understanding, recognition, and empowerment.
3. Ask curiously. Teacher Wang pointed out that parents should remain neutral when asking their children, inspire children more, and strive to be streamlined.
Teacher Wang's lecture was in-depth and simple, not only outlining and analyzing the characteristics of children's physical and mental development, but also patiently and meticulously explaining how to deal with various problems in the process of children's growth. As Teacher Wang said, parents should give their children equal respect, full freedom, and restrained wisdom and love to guide their children to grow up "from the inside out". I believe that in the wisdom and love of parents and friends, children will continue to grow up healthy and happy!
406 Zhan Chengbin parents share: 1. Be the child's "coach" to make the most of the strengths and avoid the weaknesses, encourage and support, and discover the potential; to be the child's "cheerleaders", appreciate and support. 2. Give the child enough respect and affirmation, be patient; listen to the child's voice, build a good communication bridge with the child, and discuss problems with the child in an empathetic way. 3. Understand more about children's preferences and guide children to take the initiative to learn, rather than forcing and requiring children to learn; give children more encouragement and let him find happiness in learning. Usually I don't have enough patience, acute. In the future, you should slowly adjust and try to slow yourself down.
107 Huang Xuqi Parents Share: We always say that "if criticism is not free, praise is meaningless", and in children, this sentence is exactly the opposite of "if praise is not specific, criticism is meaningless". The fancy praise of the child mentioned in the teacher's lecture has a strong operability for parents, many times, the praise of the child at home is superficial, always with "you are awesome", "you are too powerful", "you are so smart" and other broad language to perfunctory, and there is no targeted praise for specific things and the characteristics he presents, and the heartfelt praise of the child is crucial to the establishment of the child's self-confidence. In addition, in the "double subtraction" environment, parents should change their cultivation thinking, pay attention to the cultivation of sound personality, pay attention to the development of the ability to solve practical problems, and the future society, personality and characteristics are the strongest competitiveness.
103 Xia Zhouhao parents share: We as parents have benefited a lot from the Parent Academy lectures. In the issue of educating children, I also realize that I have done very insufficiently, and sometimes even hurt my baby verbally and physically. In the future, we must not only spend more time with our children, but also pay attention to the quality of companionship. Educate with love and pay attention to methods. Be good at observing children's emotions, patiently listen to children's voices, encourage more, criticize less, and look for children's shining points and points of interest.
104 Li Ruoyu's father shared: Thumb education, not index finger education. The child is his own, the child's genes, intelligence, are inherited from the parents, leaving everything aside, the child is just the child. Training classes, interest classes, children are hard, maybe children in order to make their parents happy, willing to pretend that they are very willing to go to class, of course, do not rule out that some children are really willing to go to class, but, as parents, you know, the real nature of children is to love to play, the greatest success of parents, is to let children feel that learning is play! Through Mr. Wang's course, we have benefited a lot, thank you for the teacher's sharing!
104 Li Ruoyu's mother: All the arrangements are the best arrangements, because of the epidemic, the parent class has been changed to online live broadcast, so that we have the honor of listening to the class of Teacher Wang Zhen together. The family of three sat in a row, listened for a while, and the daughter said to me with a serious face: "Mom, listen carefully, don't do anything else, the teacher said very well!" I think many of Teacher Wang Zhen's words speak to the child's heart. ” The case sharing in the teacher's course, etc., in fact, has been learned in books before, but at that time, the child was still in kindergarten, and many things were not personally experienced, and I did not feel deeply. In particular, the detailed description of the changes in the child's heart really touched us who are making mistakes, and the child is actually more "sensible" than we think. Thank you very much Chunhui for arranging this "Parent Class" for us, for our novice primary school parents are really in the snow, benefiting a lot!
104 Jia Shuhan's mother: Parents need to recognize their primary emotions and convey them to their children. If parents are constantly angry with their children, it is best to ask themselves, "What the hell am I thinking?" "What needs of mine are affected by the child's behavior?" "What is my primary emotion?" Parents need to use nonviolent communication, and the four elements of nonviolent communication are to tell objective facts, express inner feelings, express real needs, and say specific requests.
Text | Liu Chun
Edit | Song Tingting
Co-ordination | Parent Courses
Audit | Yang Haiqing