Author: Li Li
I am often misunderstood as high-cold, in fact, I just suddenly see a person who can't remember what to say and what to do, and can't respond socially in a timely and sensitive manner. As an hindsight person, I always act very calm and indifferent when something just happens, and after a while, a strong emotion suddenly comes to my heart. Why is the emotional response so lagging behind? I see a very interesting generalization on the Internet, this phenomenon is called "the reflection arc is very long".
Let's show off a classic scene:
One day, when drying clothes, a stainless steel hanger was not hanging steadily, and fell straight down. At this point --
A voice in my head was saying, "Your hanger is off." ”
Another voice answered, "I know! ”
The voice was saying again, "Your hanger really fell off." ”
The other one continued: "I know! ”
At this time, accompanied by the sound of something crashing to the ground, my left foot was smashed by something, so painful~! I heard me shouting, "Oh my God! My hanger fell off! ”
This is really the case, and this kind of "reflection arc is very long" in life happens from time to time. Of course, it is not a slow response to everything, natural stay, there are also agile moments of looking at the six ways and listening to the eight directions, a little bit of wind and grass can be captured, but once you start to feel slow and half a beat, others can not react to your desperate eyes, do not know to what extent it is appropriate to say, often say some words that others are not happy with and they are still straight and do not care. Being treated disrespectfully, or being intimidated, being ridiculed, being disliked, or being shot at, at that time only felt uncomfortable or something was wrong, two or three days later, even two or three months later to come back to God, and some can not be understood until two or three years later. Never a person with eight faces, often inadvertently, he has become a person without eyes. It can be said that people with low emotional intelligence and low emotional intelligence are either "unsociable", or "annoying", or "which pot does not open which pot", which is troublesome. The evil consequence of this kind of karma is that the social interaction from childhood to adulthood is very bumpy, and many years of time are by themselves, unable to blend into the surrounding circles, not because they don't want to, but because the "reflection arc is very long" so that they are inexplicably excluded.
I think every person with a long reflex arc may have suppressed and distorted his true feelings more than once when he was a child. This type of person is often very fragile in their hearts, and in order to avoid touching the real heart, they will have a certain "isolation psychology". They usually choose to unconsciously isolate negative emotions in advance when they have not yet felt them. Such isolation allows them to try not to face some of the hurt and pain that may arise next. This kind of "isolation psychology" is actually self-deception, the rational brain already knows what the situation should be now, and also knows that it is necessary to make a certain "emotion", a certain "reaction", but you do not know what to do, can not say that you are completely unaware of what is happening, but even if you are aware, you will quickly transfer or deliberately dilute, acting very calm and calm, looking like you don't care about yourself. Others seem to have no fluctuations in your heart, but this is not the case.
Believe me, every person with a long reflection arc, these people who appear to be slow and half a beat on the surface, are just a buffer, they will always be after a long time after an event has passed, or after a complete past, suddenly, electric light flint, there will be emotions, long-suppressed emotional frenzy, swept in, let their hearts suffer little by little. At this time, the events that happened a long time ago have long been overwhelmed and difficult to harvest.
As far as I know, a person who is highly focused on doing things is also prone to a long reflex arc. Because their attention has been in an extremely busy state, there is no extra attention left. The human brain is divided into a rational brain and an emotional brain. The emotional brain is our primitive brain, the part that has survived 200,000 years of human beings, and it is located inside the brain. The rational brain, on the other hand, is a part that humans have formed in the past thousand years, and it is located in the outerer cerebral cortex. Our different behaviors are governed by these two brains. According to the law of conservation of energy, when a person is thinking deeply, that is, when using the rational brain to dominate their own behavior, the brain is in a state of "busyness" and "occupied" that interferes with the desire and response of the emotional brain. As soon as a person is focused, it is easy to leave reality and leave social interaction, and the whole world seems to him to have disappeared. At this time, he did some breathtaking and confusing things, which were actually understandable. I remember reading such a story before: when the physicist Ampere left the house one day, he wrote a note on the door "Ampere will be at home at night", but that day he came back during the day, thinking about an academic problem while walking, saw the note on his door, and turned away, because he forgot that he was Ampere! Another famous example is Newton, who wanted to boil eggs, so he took off his watch and looked at the time, but after two minutes he found that he still had the egg in his hand and the watch was already boiling in the pot. When the great physicist wrote his own book, he was so focused on thinking that he forgot to dress and eat. Although I am not thinking about the three laws of motion for all mankind like Newton, I often use all my mental energy to focus on a problem, at this time, I will be stupid to watch a stainless steel hanger free fall on my feet, I can observe the whole process without expression.
A person with a long reflex arc, a person with hindsight, you can see him as a person who is not smart enough, not sharp enough, you can also see him as a person who is "rarely confused" and lives a simple and free life. People who are sensitive and quietly aware of key signals and information, and who respond with great results with unusual agility, are the envy of me, but bluntness is not a protection for me. Maybe it was the subconscious self-defense mechanism that kicked in and made me a person with a long reflex arc. Modern people are subject to unprecedented high pressure, if too sensitive, then people's will and vitality will soon be exhausted, and have a big grinning attitude, in order to better adapt to society. With a dull and strong nerve, there will be no emotional fluctuations because of trivial things. Although the blunt feeling sometimes gives people a negative impression of Mune, it can also allow a person to eliminate interference, move forward courageously, and have and adhere to their own unique style of acting. People need to grow continuously, and the meaning of hindsight is that it is a way for a person to reflect, be aware, and improve himself. Even if I'm always hindsight now, it means that I need this experience to grow up. I understand that the power of prophetic foresight is based on the grinding of countless hindsighted lives, just as cowardice is a condition of courage and heroes are accomplished by the weak.
Because the reflex arc is very long, I have a habit of ruminating. The form of "rumination" looks a lot like "reflection" or "recap". Sometimes, it presents itself in a "nostalgic" or "sentimental" way. Reflection is good for me, because I can learn from the past, adjust my mentality, and better guide the future, although it cannot change the events that have already occurred, but it can change my cognition and mentality. But there are also negative parts, some of the events that were paralyzed at the time, in fact, you are very concerned, incomparably entangled, your reflex arc may be two kilometers, or even two circles around the earth, when many years later, the realization suddenly comes, the loss has long been lost forever, the past with the desolation of the twilight and the frost and snow, frozen in your memory, for you to regurgitate over and over again, again and again midnight dreams, tears flowing down your face. You need to use a strong heart to avoid excessive rumination, to avoid mental collapse, into negative emotions. This kind of rumination will inevitably exacerbate and prolong a person's pain, and each regurgitation will make the memory more vivid, more unforgettable, and become a vicious circle that continues to last. This is the consequence of hindsight, others have long since passed, the clouds are light, and you, when you were completely uneventful, actually carry a world, a world composed of everything you have seen and loved, a world full of shadows and cracks, and many years later you still keep going back to the world you are dragging.
The reflection arc is so long, can it be cut short? Is it only through your own continuous deliberate training that you can slowly repair, but when you repair, you have been around for so many years...