Being a man wins in harmony, loses in temper, and is expensive in the atmosphere.
Author: Insight Xu Xiaoxu
I have seen a sentence: "Not being angry when things happen, not arguing between right and wrong, and not arguing between winning and losing is the great wisdom of dealing with the world." ”
When you think about it, it is.
All of man's troubles come from inner restlessness.
People who have cultivated can hold their breath, see right and wrong thoroughly, let go of gains and losses, live transparently and freely, and be at ease.
01
Not being angry is a kind of cultivation.
The word "anger" is taken apart as "slave heart", and when people are angry, the heart is enslaved.
I've seen a story from Angry Donkey.
There was a donkey, who had been grinding in the mill, when suddenly a stray dog ran over and wagged its tail and sneered:
"Oh, you stupid donkey is so pitiful, you only deserve to grind in the yard, you live a lifetime is not as good as I live a day!"
When the donkey heard this, he was furious and rushed up.
But the dog ran too fast to catch up, and the more it thought about it, the angrier it became, and it had no heart to work at all.
At this time, the owner's eight-year-old son ran over to ride a donkey, and the donkey just had no place to vent, kicked the child out, and the child fell to the head and bled.
The owner was very annoyed and sold the donkey directly to the slaughterhouse.
The tragedy of the donkey, in fact, in real life we have all experienced more or less.
In life, there will always be some people who talk nonsense to you.
Therefore, losing your mind and making a big move will only make your emotions out of control, resulting in an irreparable stalemate, and in the end it is you who will suffer losses.
As the saying goes: one patience can control a hundred insults, and one silence can control a hundred angers.
Anger without words, angry words do not enter the ears, let go of others, but also let go of yourself.
The poetry of the writer Goethe was widely praised at the time, but some people were prejudiced.
Once, on a narrow path, Goethe met a critic.
Critics, who are not accustomed to Goethe's work, arrogantly say, "I never give stupidity. Goods give way. ”
Instead of getting angry, Goethe retreated to the side of the road and smiled and said, "I am the opposite." ”
In the face of unpleasant things, a smile is the most powerful counterattack.
To be a man is like a river, when you encounter obstacles, you will bypass them, and if you can't get around them, you will accumulate strength and swim past.
Su Dongpo said a sentence:
"Come without alarm, without anger for no reason." Its captors are enormous, and their ambitions are far-reaching. ”
To be a person, to win in harmony, to lose in temper, and to be expensive is in the atmosphere.
Can suppress the temper, in order to control their own life.
02
Not to argue, it is a pattern.
I read a question on the Internet: "What is it like to argue with people?" ”
There is an answer in the comments section that says what most people really think:
At that time, the fight was red in the face and incoherent, only to overwhelm the other party, and when I looked back, I thought of a subtle rebuttal, and then the more I thought about it, the more angry I became.
You've had a similar experience:
After arguing with others, I felt that I did not play well in hindsight, and I was even more remorseful.
One quarrel, two injuries, some senseless attrition.
Entrepreneur Musk once said:
"I don't argue with people now because everyone can only think at his cognitive level. Later, when someone says two plus two equals ten, I will say that you are so good, you are completely correct! ”
Rather fight with people who understand and don't talk to confused people.
Not arguing easily is the wisdom of handling things, and it is also the pattern of being a person.
The Northern Song Dynasty was famous for its rich and powerful debates.
Once, a poor showman stopped him in the street and said, "I heard that you can speak eloquently, so I'll ask you a question." ”
Fu Bi replied in a gentle voice, "Yes, please say." ”
"If someone blatantly insults you, how do you respond?"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear."
The man laughed at Fu Bi as a shrunken-headed turtle, and the wave was vain, and turned away.
The servants on the side were anxious.
Fu Bi said, "This man came with anger. If I argue with him, I will be red-faced. Even if the quarrel won him, it was still unconvinced and futile. ”
Zhuang Ziyi: The big debate is not debated.
If you're wrong, it's useless to say more; if you're not wrong, the facts will naturally come out.
Porcelain should never go against the bricks, and people with low cognition don't have to try to correct it.
In this way, everyone does not interfere with each other and is very peaceful in their respective worlds.
The still water flows deeply, and the wise man is silent.
Learning to be silent and patient, thinking more about things, and cultivating yourself with all your heart is the big pattern of being a person.
03
Indisputability is a kind of wisdom.
The Tao Te Ching says: The way of heaven is beneficial but not harmful; the way of the saints is not to argue.
To fight, but not to be reconciled, in order to fight for a breath.
However, if you force too much, you can't get along with yourself.
I've seen a little story.
There is a fisherman, fishing for a fishing team, going out happily every day, even if the empty net is humming a song to return, the day is simple and happy.
One day he accidentally caught a piece of gold and was ecstatic that night he did not sing, fantasizing about the future.
The next day, he sold the gold and borrowed a loan shark, bought a fishing boat, hired a few fishermen, and started a fishing business.
Over the years, the business has become bigger and bigger.
But he couldn't laugh anymore, and every day he was either worried about the weather or competing with other fishing teams for fish prices, and there was no moment of peace in his heart.
A tornado hit the reef and devastated the boat, and the fisherman fell to the extreme, walking on the beach in frustration.
At this time, he saw a homeless man lying on the beach, basking in the sun and humming a song.
The fisherman asked incomprehensibly, "You have nothing, how can you be so happy?" ”
The tramp said, "I have sunshine, I have health, I have freedom, why should I be unhappy?" ”
The fisherman suddenly realized that he had been a contented person before, but because he blindly fought for it, he had lost his instinct to be happy.
Guoxue master Nan Huaijin said:
Only those who are confused by desire in life must distinguish between superior and inferior. Indisputable, is the ultimate state of life.
Not to argue, not not to pursue but not to force, to know what to do, what is the most suitable.
Love and can not ask for, this is the norm of life. What should come will eventually come, and the demands that should not come will be useless.
Do your best in everything, don't be too demanding of results.
"Cai Gen Tan" said: "The husband is not in dispute, and the world cannot compete with it." ”
The most beautiful scenery of life is nothing but quiet and indisputable, contented and happy, calm and calm, and indifferent in the heart.
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Lao Tzu said: "Those who are good at fighting are not angry, those who are good at gentleness do not argue, and those who are good at winning do not argue." ”
Calm and calm can achieve the atmosphere; silence is the best justification; keep a normal heart, and life will be a lot less troublesome.
The life of a human being is a process of constant reconciliation with oneself and the world.
Whether you have a good life or not, the mentality is the most important.