Finally someone told the brother's inner drama.
Two days ago, at the "Talk Show Conference 4", a handsome young man named Zhang Jun observed that the "masculinity anxiety" of domestic male compatriots was much more serious than the anxiety of appearance.
Because the so-called manhood is completely based on some vacuous standards, the summary is "the rougher the more man".
For example, the sun is big and sunny outside, but you walk on the street, and only girls can wear umbrellas as far as you can see.
Instead of wearing umbrellas, boys are not even happy to apply one of sunscreen, and ask "no masculinity/masculinity".
At that moment, I finally understood the long-term sympathy that News Sister and Xiao Bai had for me.
Especially when they delicately put on the parasols, seeing that I was already sunburned in the sun and about to burst my skin.
The news sister suggested that I go home and smear some aloe vera glue, I waved a big hand, wiped what to do, isn't it a little darker?
Then that night I squeaked in pain, and ordered a heavenly umbrella overnight, and the dark plaid was the last stubbornness of this straight man.
The stand-up comedian also said he was a straight man, but he especially liked to apply a mask.
Before I didn't understand, the first time I put on my ex-girlfriend let him try it, he was not happy, he felt that he was a big boss, and it was detrimental to manhood to put on this thing.
But soon he was really fragrant, but he couldn't show it.
True mouth-tempered honesty.
Later, when he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, he had to buy his own mask, but he still felt that it was "shameful" for men to buy masks.
In order not to damage his masculinity, he had to disguise himself as an unplanned impulsive consumption.
I don't want to buy it myself, I want to make up for it.
A lot of cheating on me, just buy a mask, as for such a trouble?
He later felt that this mentality was wrong, so he summed up an experience:
Don't live in society's stereotypes of men.
What exactly does this stereotype refer to?
Life is rough and not exquisite, strong and strong, not afraid of snakes, insects, rats and ants, do not cook at home without a baby, and have a higher income than that of a partner...
As for gentleness and thoughtfulness, soft and weak sensibility, it is all "a man's shortcoming", with a thin voice and long flowing hair, which is even more "like a lady".
This is all the invisible pressure brought by "masculinity" to male compatriots, and the times are progressing, but everyone seems not to be more and more free, or this is not allowed, that is not allowed.
Under that talk show sat actor Chen Xuedong, whether it was his previous roles or from his real gossip, he was definitely not a masculine man in the traditional sense.
But his interpretation of "manhood", brother feels quite level, completely hanging on to the above stereotypes.
Some time ago, a chat record between husband and wife circulated on the Internet, which subtly showed the difference between the two statements.
In order to take the child, the woman was asked by her husband's family to resign as a housewife, but when she asked her husband for milk powder money, she did not come for half a day.
It wasn't until she sacrificed her killer skill and said that she was looking for her mother's family to borrow money, and the one on the other side seemed to have been trampled on the tail and quickly turned the money.
In his eyes, manhood is not to take care of the family and be good for his wife, but to "raise his head in the father-in-law's house" and "raise his head" in the father-in-law's house.
This is clearly unreasonable.
I don't know if you recognize Lan Xiaolong, the male screenwriter who can write the most men's group plays in China.
His representative works are "Soldier Assault" and "My Regiment Leader My Regiment".
At that time, the military drama was popular, and many people praised him for awakening the masculinity of society, and as a result, the reporter of "Yanzhao Metropolis Daily" asked him, how do you understand "masculinity"?
Lan Xiaolong replied: Courage, wisdom, self-control, tolerance, humor, which are more important than the so-called "masculinity".
So to this day, the men he wrote about, such as Xu Sanduo, Yuan Lang, Shi Jin, etc., are still the ideal type of many girls.
Not only do girls like it, but boys appreciate it too.
In the eyes of some people, the opposite of masculinity is the "mother cannon".
It is the evaluation that many men are most afraid to hear.
It's funny to say, brother really didn't expect that in 2021, the word "mother cannon" can still appear on the hot search.
It has even become a crime that can be juxtaposed with "exceeding the bottom line of the law" and "violating public order and good customs".
After all, as early as 2017, there was a term stamped by the mainstream media that was sexist.
It is easy to understand, why praise a man as a "grandfather", and scold a person to say that he is a "mother cannon"?
Women can hold up half of the sky, and "ladies" are no worse than "grandfathers".
For a recent example, from the 24th Seoul Olympics to this year's Tokyo Olympics, Chinese girls have won more gold medals than their male compatriots, and even the number of gold medals in Tokyo this year accounts for nearly two-thirds of the total.
Hopefully, normal fellow men don't rush to catch fire, these satires are clearly addressed to men with old ideas.
Although most of the people who speak for "motherhood" and "masculinity" are girls, everyone can also perceive that under the gaze of absolute male power, these stereotypes hurt more men.
We have given too much in pursuit of so-called masculinity.
A street interview in previous years by the Beijing News was also turned over today.
Brother feels that it is still very representative of normal men's point of view, and it is necessary to share it with everyone.
A veteran said that there are also comrades with softer personalities in the army, but when he went out on fire, he never delayed his own tasks, and his personality did not affect his work.
A monk said that "mother" should be respected, and that gentle appearance does not mean weakness on the inside.
Another employee of a state-owned enterprise spoke out about his brother's heart.
I also don't like to look at those small fresh meat men love beans, but people have not affected me, as long as I do not break the law and commit crimes, where do I stand to point fingers?
Instead of discussing the feminization of male adolescents, think about how to prevent online violence and school violence brought about by society's stereotypes of men.
Brother has seen several news stories of being bullied by classmates and disliked by his family because of his gentle demeanor.
Gentle kindness and bravery are not contradictory, and the various good qualities are not divided according to gender.
Therefore, less of that set of men should be, how women should be.
Talkative people, take care of yourself.