Wen \Zhang Mama
Editor\Mama Zhang
In the education of children, there are thousands of ways of education, but "frustration education" seems to be the consensus reached by all parents, and many parents are very supportive of "frustration education", thinking that it can make children more excellent, but is this really the case?
"Every time it's 95, there's no progress!"
Yesterday was the day of the paper, Tao Tao took home a 95 points test paper, which is already his third unit of 95 points, Tao Tao secretly happy that the question is getting more and more difficult, but his score is kept very good, so he wants to go home and share the month with his mother.
"Mom, Mom, I got a 95!" The teacher said that the problem had become difficult, and said that my grades were maintained very well! ”
"Every time it's 95, no progress!" Can't you just give me a 100 on the test? ”
His mother's words hit Tao Tao's head like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, and he looked very lost like a defeated rooster, while Tao Tao's father on the side saw everything in his eyes.
"Don't do this, children need encouragement too!"
"What to encourage, setback education is conducive to the growth of children, you don't know anything to make money with peace of mind!"
Sometimes, the child has obviously made a lot of progress, but the parents suppress the child with a perfunctory attitude, which will make the child doubt himself.
But these parents forget that the essence of "frustration education" is never to create setbacks for children, but to face and overcome setbacks with their children.
In the process of educating children, many parents often enter a "setback education" misunderstanding, they always misunderstand the "setback education" as "suppressing education", which will bring many impacts to children.
Demanding too much on the child, suppressing the child makes the child's self-esteem damaged
In the process of educating children, we often find that parents will let their children grow through criticism, and even some parents in order to be able to suppress their children from time to time, constantly improve their own requirements, let their children live in a harsh living environment for a long time, and have an impact on their children's self-esteem.
Many parents always think that praising their children, children will be proud and complacent, in fact, it is not, children also need encouragement and praise, thinking that the suppression will only make children doubt themselves.
When children's self-awareness is not yet fully established, their understanding of the world comes from their parents, and their sense of security also comes from their parents.
When the child suffers setbacks, the parents indiscriminately motivate the child
I believe that many parents in the education of their children, often say a sentence "where you fall where you get up", only by defeating yourself can you become stronger and more excellent!
In fact, it is not difficult for us to understand that parents' intentions are good, they hope that their children can learn to face difficulties independently in adversity, but parents often ignore the fact that children are only children after all, do they really have enough ability to solve these problems at the moment?
If this problem is something that the child cannot solve at the moment, then parents blindly motivate and let the child face the problem by himself, which will only make the child feel a deep sense of despair and powerlessness, which is very detrimental to the child's physical and mental health.
The attitude of parents is too utilitarian, allowing children to lose themselves
I believe that many parents have a set of their own reward and punishment mechanism for their children's examinations, children will be rewarded if they take a good test, and they will not be rewarded if they do not test well, and criticize children.
When the child takes the test well, every day is a smile and giggle to ask the child what he wants to eat, is he tired of learning, the child directly treats each other coldly after the test is not good, confiscates the child's mobile phone, etc., and even directly accuses the child of just playing and not learning.
In fact, the child's heart is not comfortable, they will also feel sad after the test is bad, parents such a differential treatment will make the child work hard to learn right, but the child will only feel "Does Mom and Dad only like to learn well?" ”
Never create setbacks for children and let children feel pain for the sake of "frustration education", but teach children how to deal with setbacks in natural setbacks, so that children can understand and understand on their own.
The original intention of our education is definitely not to cater to external things, but to make the child's inner world more colorful.
Parents should let their children understand that there is no obstacle in life that cannot be overcome, only people who cannot see through, will always see the rainbow after the storm.
I am Zhang Mama, parents if you encounter problems with parenting, you may wish to publish it in the comment area to discuss with you, or private chat with me to discuss how to educate children, welcome to help forward like Oh, thank you!
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