A new life is conceived in love and grown up in the family; parents are the first teachers of children, how to make children open their hearts to you, this is a question that every parent will think about.
Some parents adopt the traditional way of education, think that they can't succeed without fighting, and always feel that "filial piety comes out under the stick", but they don't know that today's children are becoming more and more precocious, everyone has their own thoughts, and the more you impose your own thoughts on him, the more fierce his resistance will be.
When we were young, the words we listened to the most were, "You look at other people's children, other people's tests are 100 points, you will always fail; other people's children are not in interest classes or study homework and write homework on their own, and you only know how to play, the same are people, why is the gap between you so big?" "Listen to such words more, the child's own heart will give themselves a definition, I just can't do it, I'm just not as good as others, others can do it, I just can't do it, anyway, it can't be done, then it's like this, anyway, what I do is wrong, so the results are some negative effects."
High school is the most rebellious period of teenagers, Yaya's maverick behavior, so that she seems out of place in the class, she is always alone, no friends and unwilling to communicate with people, because of his arrogant personality and attitude, but also dare not easily approach. At a psychological counseling event organized by the school, the expert teacher was teaching on the stage, saying why contemporary people are now reluctant to communicate with people, because their original families have not given them an outlet to express their ideas. If you express your feelings to your parents since childhood, they will veto them. Coming home from school, I want to talk to my parents about what happened at school, and they all use busyness as an excuse to say that there is no time for you to study on your own, and for a long time in this situation of emotional repression, emotions can not find an outlet and gradually they will no longer have the desire to communicate with people. Yaya heard this and silently shed tears, and the expert teacher also felt and sensed her emotional changes, and talked to Yaya alone after the activity.
In the process of chatting, I learned that Yaya is an only child, and her parents are usually very busy at work, and their grandparents take Yaya with them. Parents' meetings organized by the school, travel summer camps organized by the school, mom and dad did not appear once. Once in a painting competition Yaya won the first place in the grade, very happy to take his own painting, go home and want to share this joy with his parents, but they were working overtime that night, and when they came back, Yaya was already asleep, still holding the painting that won the 1st place. On Yaya's 12th birthday, she said to her mother: Mom, I also want to do a birthday party like other children to invite my friends to participate, can I? Mom took the mobile phone to handle the work, and said without looking up: "Your father and I have been too busy lately, you don't have to add to the chaos, study well, and there will be time for your birthday in the future." "
Yaya does not really want to really have this birthday, she just wants the company of her parents, seeing other children and parents go out to travel back photos are very envious, thinking, why is it that parents are always so busy, a day of time does not give me, want to talk to you so hard? Slowly Yaya will no longer take the initiative to express her inner needs with her parents and no longer want to accompany her.
Parents found careful strange, is after the third year of junior high school exams, suddenly remembered that it is about to go up to the middle school, do not know how its score test, call Yaya, the phone is not connected, contact Yaya classmates also said that they have not seen her, the mother is nervous at once, because usually rarely communicate with Yaya, do not know what friends she has, not to mention the contact information of friends, can only wait.
"Ding-dong" the door opened, Yaya walked in"You don't look at what time it is now, now you are back, you a girl outside, you don't know if you were abducted" The mother blurted out the words of splitting her head and covering her face, Yaya looked up at her mother, the corners of her mouth moved slightly, but finally did not say anything, turned and walked into her room.
Mom: "What is your attitude?" Is that how you talk to your mom? Talking to you without saying a word, it's an act of impoliteness, you know? "
Yaya: "Politeness is mutual, you don't respect me, why should I respect you?" You gave me life, but it wasn't me who let you give birth to me, and you didn't care about me when you were born, so it was better not to be born, just let me fend for myself."
The mother was stunned, never knew that her meek daughter could say such a thing, carefully recalled what she had done to Yaya before, and found that she was busy with work, especially in recent years, the things promised to Yaya had not been done or even accompanied by a birthday, although it gave Yaya a good material foundation, but in the soul Yaya was missing.
Good communication is a bridge to relationships, and if you want a person to completely open your heart to you and bloom yourself, in addition to having enough time to accompany you to communicate, you also need to learn the skill of speaking; at a girlfriend party, Yaya's mother asked her girlfriend for a solution. The girlfriend's family has a particularly harmonious relationship, and the daughter is very sticky to her mother, which fully responds to the sentence "The daughter is a sweet little cotton jacket". Girlfriend said that the child's mind is actually very fragile, when you refuse to communicate with her, reject her when he communicates, she slowly closes the door of her heart, it is difficult to open it later, I am also on the communication eloquence and speech course back, in the process of communicating with the daughter, our relationship is more and more harmonious, the teacher will analyze the child's psychological activities with us from different angles, targeted to adjust the child's problems, let us really understand the child, into the child's heart, Or next time you have time, you can come with me.
If you can't even handle family relations well, you don't have more time and energy to deal with work and work, then your wealth will also decrease.
Accompanying children to grow up is not a simple thing, communicate with children more, give children more affirmation. Understanding their inner activities requires enough care, love, care and patience, and mastering good communication skills, you can easily open your child's heart.