01
Chernyshevsky said:
"What does it mean to love someone? It means being happy for his happiness, doing everything that needs to be done to make him happier, and getting joy out of it. ”
In fact, the real sense of happiness, satisfaction and achievement only comes from the process of loving people, the process of giving.
The feeling that the moment brought to oneself is also more worthwhile than ever, provided that there is no purpose or selfishness, just pure love for a person, feeling happy because of his happiness, and sad because of his sadness.
No matter what the final result is, even if there is no result, at least in the process of happiness, giving, and happiness, this is enough.
Love doesn't have to have results, but it does all have meaning.
Some people's influence on you will really be very long, long, so long that you can't think of it yourself, and accepting all kinds of regrets in life is not necessarily a bad thing.
The process of loving people is sweet, and if you feel bitter, it must be the work of desire behind it.
When love is mixed with desire, it is painful to not get it, and it is boring to get it, and it will always hover between the two. To put it more simply, it is that you have a particularly strong desire, the subjective consciousness thinks that it must be realized, and when the result does not go with the desire, the sadness comes, the pain comes.
It is not a very pure feeling of loving someone and being able to have it.
Many people have an attitude towards love, and love must be together regardless of it, in the name of love to indulge all their actions and desires.
Love does not make people sad, what makes people sad is that they have not satisfied a certain desire through love.
All your pain is not brought about by love, but by the desire and selfishness mixed with love, so you have to think clearly about where the source of your pain is.
02
To be honest, the world is very big, who can meet who is a special fate, just the so-called past life five hundred times of looking back, in exchange for this life passing by.
Being able to know is already a great fate, and if you can fall in love, it should be grasped even more.
Therefore, if you meet love, I also hope that you can love bravely, boldly love, and love with all your strength, regardless of the final result, it is enough to be worthy of the process, to be willing, to live up to the encounter, and to have no regrets.
Even if that person doesn't like you, at least you have fought for it and worked hard, and it is better to regret for a while than to regret for a lifetime.
However, the order of appearance of life is so important, the saddest thing is to fall in love with a person who knows that they cannot be together, if you encounter such feelings, I advise you to let go as soon as possible.
Letting go is not necessarily not loving, it is relief, but also a change of love form, into a silent blessing.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"The saddest thing is that when you meet someone special and understand that you can never be together, sooner or later, you have to give up." 」
If sooner or later you have to let go, sooner or later, regardless of whether you have to love to the end, in the end, it will be a disaster for two people, which violates the original intention of love.
Love is a blessing, it is happiness, it is not wild, and it is not unbridled.
So don't dwell on it and don't hurt, regret is the norm of life, but it's not a regret, just let you change the form of love, you need to restrain your desires.
Everything is the best arrangement, keep your head clear, don't let love become deformed, your love should be able to give you motivation, but also should make the other party feel relaxed, kidnapping posture of love, is a toxin. I love you, you must love me, I love you, I must be with you, this standard is only set by human selfishness.
03
What is it like to give up someone you love but can't be together?
The answer that may come to everyone's mind is unwillingness, pain, anger, reluctance, etc., in fact, in the face of this situation, you can really feel after giving up, and you will not feel sad and sad.
Let me tell you a message that I received in the background.
A 26-year-old girl who falls in love with someone who knows there is no result and knows they can't be together. During that time, her living state was that she always wanted to lock herself in the room, couldn't help but shed tears, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep at night, and work was time-consuming.
All that was on his mind was the man, and without him, he felt as if he couldn't live anymore. Love was supposed to make people happy, but for her it brought only endless sadness.
It was because she cared too much about the result and thought about giving up countless times, but she felt that if she really gave up, she would take half her life.
Just like this, love and hate entangled for more than half a year, she figured it out, decided to give up, that is, at that moment, she seemed to come out of the smog, and after adjusting her mentality, she felt unprecedentedly relaxed, yes, after making the decision to give up, her feeling was relaxed.
No longer need to be entangled in love, no longer need to be tortured by love, when she can use the right attitude to treat that love, and find an optimistic and positive self.
Still very much love, but this love is hidden in her heart, into a blessing, she hopes that the person she loves can live happily and happily, but also for the person she loves, let herself live happily and happily, as for not being together, it really doesn't matter, the obsession becomes faith.
04
After giving up, I realized that what tormented me was not love at all, but the obsession in my heart, and the strong possessiveness had washed over my mind, making myself chaotic, and even life was gone.
The deeper the obsession, the more paranoid people are, and they will desperately try to drill the tip of the bull's horn.
The wall blocked in front of him, even if it is thick, even if it hits his head and breaks the blood, at the same time, he does not forget to comfort himself in his heart, just in case.
That is to say, although you are well aware that two people will not have results, but you are not willing to accept this fact, admit this fact, you have to comfort yourself in your heart, self-deception, and deceive yourself in case it is possible! This is the struggle between reason and sensibility, but in this struggle two people are involved.
We can't act on our feelings, we can think of whatever we want with feelings, and life is not chaotic.
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On the other hand, some feelings will last forever because they are let go in time. I like Wilde's quote: "There are only two tragedies in life, one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting what you want." ”
Don't pursue the outcome of things too much, in a way, together is not the result, just another new beginning, the result is not complete.
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