A few days ago, I brushed up on such a video and couldn't help but be moved.
A mother-in-law rode out at one o'clock in the morning to pick up her daughter-in-law who came back from work, because she was afraid of the dark, she took a knife to carry on her body to strengthen her courage, and the daughter-in-law was touched to see the mother-in-law who came to greet her, and felt that the mother-in-law really regarded herself as a family.
Daughter-in-law Ms. Liang said that her mother-in-law came to pick her up to ride a motorcycle for twenty kilometers, and she was very worried about what accident her mother-in-law had, until she saw her mother-in-law and did not put her mind at ease.
After watching the video, I can't help but sigh, it turns out that the two-way rush is not only love, but also mother-in-law and daughter-in-law love!
I opened the comment area and found that people with a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law shared some heart-warming stories of themselves and their mother-in-law, while the opposite was in the comment area, full of bitterness and helplessness.
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a difficult problem. Getting along well is home and everything is happy, and getting along well is like the tip of a needle to Mai Mang, and everything can't go through.
So how should the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along?
On May 23, Yao Chen mourned the death of his mother-in-law on Weibo, and the words were full of sincerity.
"We are not only mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also close friends in life. It is an honor to be able to be part of your family in this lifetime, to remember your warm smile forever, and we will be reunited. ”
Yao Chen's mother-in-law Ding Lang has always been known as the "Immortal Mother-in-Law". She was a fan of Yao Chen a long time ago, and she liked the capable and free Yao Chen in front of the screen.
When he learned that his son Cao Yu and Yao Chen were in love, Ding Lang was very happy and wanted them to get married as soon as possible, but at that time, Yao Chen had just experienced a failed marriage, and although he and her current husband Cao Yu were in love, they did not dare to enter the marriage again.
Therefore, Ding Lang often chatted with Yao Chen, listened to her voice, explained Yao Chen with heartfelt words, and later personally accompanied his son to the Yao family to propose marriage, full of sincerity. In order to eliminate the shadow of Yao Chen's "fear of marriage", Ding Lang also asked his son to draw up a "loyalty agreement" that was very unfair to him:
"After marriage, Yao Chen is in charge of the family's financial power, and the house and car rewrite Yao Chen's name; the feelings are single-minded, and the relationship with the opposite sex is not ambiguous; once divorced, they are willing to leave the house..."
Finally, Ding Lang's efforts made Yao Chen completely let go of his knot and join hands with Cao Yu into marriage.
Everyone may think that if the mother-in-law attaches so much importance to Yao Chen, it must be a hundred satisfactions for Yao Chen, but this "excellent daughter-in-law aura" did not last long...
She began to dislike Yao Chen for not washing or wearing makeup after getting up in the morning, and would only sit in front of the computer in crumpled pajamas to brush Weibo; she hated that Yao Chen did not pay attention to hygiene, bought apples at home without washing, picked up and bitten; angry at the meals she carefully prepared, Yao Chen was always picking and choosing...
One day, Cao Yu (Yao Chen's husband) was resting at home, and the pregnant Yao Chen would let him make himself a cup of honey water, let him help him put on his socks, and let him help wash his hair.
Ding Lang saw that his son was summoned around, and couldn't help but complain to his son: "I find more and more that Yao Chen is not what I imagined, a big star, how can he be the same as the women around me?" Very secular".
Cao Yu was a little helpless when he heard this: "Hasn't Yao Chen always been like this?"
After Hearing this, Yao Chen took the initiative to take her mother-in-law and said: "Mom, don't treat me as a star in the future, I am your daughter-in-law, a woman with shortcomings and joys and sorrows..."
The two people chatted openly and honestly, and the mother-in-law also wanted to understand that it was her expectations of her daughter-in-law that were too high and her daughter-in-law thought too perfectly.
We also often hear in our lives "Before marriage... After marriage...", it seems that marriage can make people change, but I think this is the result of over-expectations.
In order to make a good impression on each other before marriage, most people may have some "disguises", after all, who does not want to show a good look?
After a long time of marriage, the real appearance is gradually revealed, and the shortcomings are also emerging. Of course, this will make people feel that there is a gap, but who is not yet an ordinary person?
Fu Seoul, who is known as "sober in the world", once said on a show: "I do not approve of the ghost story of treating my mother-in-law as a mother", using sharp but realistic words.
This is something that even Kunling, who has high emotional intelligence, cannot do this.
After marrying Jay Chou, Kunling has been living with her mother-in-law, living a happy and happy life, and getting along with her mother-in-law is also very happy. She accompanied her Mother-in-law, who believed in Christianity, to church to worship, traveled with her mother-in-law, and watched her husband's concert with her mother-in-law.
In an interview, the reporter asked Kunling how to get along with her mother and mother-in-law, Kunling said that she would lie to her, but when the reporter asked: "Will it be like this with her mother-in-law?" Kun Ling said, "Oh, no." ”
Although Kunling and her mother-in-law are as close as mother and daughter, she will not show her completely true side in front of her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law is not a mother, and recognizing this, many contradictions between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will be solved.
Many of the problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law stem from your over-expectations for this "mother-daughter" relationship.
When you were newly married, you must have heard two sentences, one is that I will treat you as my own daughter, and the other is that I will treat you as filial piety as a mother, but how many people can really do it?
Can a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really be a mother and daughter? I once saw a passage said by a netizen:
"You've had countless fights with your mom since you were a child, but most of the time, you won't remember why. But with your mother-in-law, every time you quarrel with the reason and the process, you will remember it clearly. And as long as you argue once, you will never go back to the past. ”
It is true that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have neither a blood relationship nor an emotional basis for the past twenty years, so naturally she cannot treat you like a mother.
Bao Bell once mentioned in "The Wife's Romantic Trip" that there was a scene when his wife gave birth to a child that he could never forget.
To put it bluntly, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are just no blood relatives, really treated as a family, relying on the heart to heart, you are good to me and I will give you feedback, this is a process that requires a long time to precipitate.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to be a problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but in fact, men are the core of this relationship, without this man, where is the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Therefore, the quality of a mother-in-law-in-law relationship, the practice of the man in the middle is also very important.
I have a friend who sent me WeChat two days ago to complain about her husband:
Every time I quarreled with my mother-in-law, he was like a hand-shaking treasurer, and when I was married far away, there was no one to rely on, and it was really impossible to live.
This kind of man doesn't care at all, and one of the things I often hear is that when you are full of grievances and want your husband to comfort him, he will come to a sentence of "Then what do you want me to do?" That's my mom."
It seems that he is the most helpless person, but in fact, the wife is bitter and cannot say.
Filial piety is the responsibility of the Son of Man, but not letting the wife be wronged is also the responsibility that a husband should have.
Wu Zhihong once wrote in "Why The Family Hurts": "If the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family and has the first say, then the family will be as stable as a rock." ”
Zhang Duo has a very good set of handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the show "Mother-in-law and Mother".
When his mother forced Chen Songling to eat garlic, he joked that "sending garlic is forgotten"; when he went out shopping, his mother was always dissatisfied with the clothes that Chen Songling picked, Zhang Duo bluntly said that Chen Songling had done well enough, and you had not appreciated that there was no result in going on shopping like this...
There are many such things, Zhang Duo never felt that "it is a natural thing for me to help my mother", but not only let the daughter-in-law feel the maintenance of her husband, but also let her mother understand the deep meaning.
The two most important women in your life are because you have a tie, and if both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are more concerned about their feelings and do not want to give in, then you are the only reason to make them back down, because they all love you enough.
So, you're the best mediator to shake hands.
Written at the end ·
I have a friend whose family has never had a conflict because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and she said to me: "As soon as I entered the door, my mother-in-law said to me, whoever my husband is in charge of, and the same is true for the children."
That's it, for many years they have been respecting and loving each other, and they have been at peace with each other.
I don't know if this practice has given you some inspiration.
Finally, I would like to say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be forced. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along well that day is naturally more comfortable, but if it is not to deal with, you can also look down, everyone's time and energy are limited, do not focus on interpersonal relationships, more money to enjoy life.
More understanding, more tolerance, and the respect of being able to respect each other as guests is not easy!