When redeemed, many people will encounter such a situation, the ex is hot and cold to you, completely confusing you.
What does it mean that your ex will give you good metrics at the same time, and then suddenly disappear or show indifference?
Some of them can't hold their breath, and when their ex is cold, they still go up and send several long messages in a row, or make a big confession of love, but instead let their road to redemption fall into the abyss of disaster.
In the face of the hot and cold situation, how to adjust the psychological state, and how to deal with rekindling the fire of love?
1
Adjustment of mindset
Many people will mistakenly think that the process of redemption is a straight line that slopes up like climbing a mountain, in fact, the process of redemption should be a curve that constantly fluctuates up and down, bending and bending.
You have to realize that the other person is no longer your partner, but the ex, so he does not have to be as enthusiastic about you as he was during the relationship.
It is normal that the other party will have read you, not read you back, or only return you every once in a while.
As long as the ex is still willing to reply to you, the door of communication is still open enough!
It is possible to save again, a short number of days, a long year as a unit, these are the costs to be paid for recovery.
Do you have a way to bear it? I suggest you set a stop loss point, say six months or two years, and see how long you can accept.
When you have the knowledge that the recovery is likely to evolve into a long-term war, and plan the stop loss point, you will not be impatient, you can think clearly of the recovery plan and proceed step by step.
There are too many uncontrollable factors to redeem, maybe the ex has a new object to pursue, or the other party just wants to be single and does not want to interact with the opposite sex.
So all you can do is control the factors you can control, and don't be affected by those uncontrollable factors mentally.
I often say to maintain a winning mentality of "no desire is just", so that when you interact with the former, it will be natural, let the other party let down the guard, and naturally improve the success rate of future redemption.
2
The reason why the ex will be hot and cold
There are many reasons for hot and cold, it may be that the other party has arrived in a new environment, has a new job, friends, interests and so on.
The circle of life is naturally less talkative without intersection, but it has not completely put down on you, so it will still care about you, but at the same time you feel that the other party is cold.
It may also be that you made a landmine, which would have been good, but you made your ex feel that you had strong intentions and raised your guard, so you were cold again.
It may also be that the ex is still struggling with sensibility and reason, and emotionally cannot let go of you, but rationally cannot forgive the mistakes you have made in the process of interaction.
All kinds of reasons can cause hot and cold, but no matter what, you should do the same thing, promote and change yourself, and don't dwell on your ex.
3
How to deal with being hot and cold by the ex?
If your ex suddenly gets hot and cold to you, but at this time you should put your focus back on yourself and make "changes", I often emphasize that the most important thing to save is to change.
What exactly is the ex dissatisfied with? It could be that you are in bad shape, or that you have a bad temper.
After the change, the best way to show it is to show it to the ex through action, and social platforms are also a good medium of communication.
If you don't know how to plan for change, you can write privately to one of our consultants who will help you plan your change.
Then there is a salvage mine that many people will commit, just as we pursue the opposite sex to know what to do, and so is redemption.
When you see that your ex has given you a cold signal, don't chase after it anymore, and insist on pulling the heat back, this is not playing the game of love and developing a goodwill, in reality we have to know what to do.
If the ex is cold, you can also be cold, and the ex only replies to your message in a day or two, and you also reply for a day or two.
Always remember that the heat is similar to the other party or slightly higher than the other party.
The hot and cold situation is really heart-wrenching, and it may be more irritating than ignoring you completely, but you must stay calm and follow the above advice.
Don't be affected by a big riot and a big confession, there are many students who just can't hold their breath and fail.