Don't live up to your daily food, only to live up to the family who wants to eat and drink with you every day. Yu Juan--- "This Life Is Not Complete"
I first came into contact with breast cancer because of my aunt, who has been dying of breast cancer for 10 years. Later, after reading Yu Juan's "This Life Is Not Completed" by Fudan University lecturer, I felt particularly profound, because I had the same encounter, so it was particularly easy to appreciate every emotion in her text. Sometimes excited, sometimes in tears. She infiltrated all her strength and optimism into the anti-cancer diary in the form of a text narrative, leaving her husband and son potatoes, while inspiring countless people to live well.
"Miso Soup of Little Flower" is a book that is relatively similar to the content and experience of "Unfinished in This Life", completed by a family of three, the heroine died a little earlier than Yu Juan, and after her death in 2008, her husband and daughter published this book "Miso Soup of Little Flower" in 2012.
Later, the book was changed to the movie of the same name, this movie narrates the whole process of Qianhui's cancer fight, the disease will always make people's hopes broken, but love and strength are the glue that re-glues the broken hopes. From "This Life Is Not Completed" to "The Miso Soup of The Little Flower", the warmth of the family in the difficult situation and the way to fight the disease and the life perception obtained through the struggle are all worth thinking about.
This article will take you closer to this special and warm family:
<h1>From an independent and beautiful girl overnight, she became a "gold sucker"</h1>
Qianhui is an independent and capable girl, she was born in a family with many children, her sister went to boarding school early, her father was sick for many years, and her younger siblings were taken care of by Qianhui. This did not delay Chie's studies, she has always had excellent grades, graduated from college and worked, and has a good boyfriend Shingo. Just when his father thought that Qianhui could finally get rid of the drag of his original family and meet his beautiful life. The weather was unpredictable, and Qianhui was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Shingo still marries Chie, but the combination of the two of them has brought a heavy financial blow to the originally well-off family.
The required drug is 25,000 yuan a piece, every 21 days to inject a piece, more than 10,000 yuan a box of medicine, only enough to eat 1 course of treatment for 14 days.
This is the cost of Yu Juan's treatment, and Qian Hui is similar. In order to cure Nobugo's father and take his pension, Nobugo went around borrowing money from relatives and friends.
Chie laughs at herself for becoming a "gold sucker", and how much helplessness and pity for Shingo is in this self-deprecation. The film narrates the direction of the story with a soothing rhythm, hides the turbulent emotional waves of the male and female protagonists with a warm tone, and can melt the terrifying emotions into warmth, and it is Chie and Shingo's deep love for each other like the sea.
The film adopts an omniscient perspective for narration, without too many ups and downs and suspense settings, because the emotional main line is too attractive, no need for more words and techniques to attract the audience, and the warm relationship between a family of three in the most difficult moments is enough to make people cry.
<h1>A life of abrupt change, intermittent collapse, sustained restraint. </h1>
The best quality of adults is not emotional stability, but mental maturity. When really facing a difficult situation, how many people can achieve emotional stability? You see him dressed as usual, you don't know her wife has cancer, you see her youth, but you don't know that her death is coming.
In such a state, how do Shingo and Chie regulate their emotions?
Shingo, who is mentally mature
Some people say that the greatest quality of adults is emotional stability, but Shingo is a middle-aged man who often yells in the office, and in front of Chie, but his yelling is not anger but shock. He is the Qianhui he found after the divorce.
Learning that Chie has cancer, Shingo goes to Chie's father and hopes that he will marry his daughter to him. He spilled his glass as soon as they met him, and a little while he did it again, each time accompanied by his trademark roar. When Chie's cancer returned, he lay in the doorway of the elevator, ignoring the coming and going feet. Chie accidentally became pregnant, and he almost smashed his desk happily. Chie and Xiaohua notice that he is going to smoke, and he starts yelling again.
On the surface, Shingo has a very mature mind. In fact, compared with emotional stability, mental maturity is easier to harvest a happy life. Some people are calm on the surface without warning and very gentle with everyone, but behind the scenes, there are people who are plotting to kill others, and some people are fighting depression.
American psychologist John Schindler said: Mature people have: have a strong sense of responsibility and autonomy; more to give, less to take; not self-centered, not to compete, learn to cooperate, have team spirit; the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy; flexible, face the characteristics of impermanent fate and other qualities.
Shingo is such a person, and only then does Shingo, who has a mature mind, have the ability to give Chie happiness and support the family in a state of debt. He used "Xiao Shu" to cover up the "great pain", friends do not understand why he married Qianhui, she has cancer, and can not have children, since she is not yet married, why not take it early, Shingo's mother is even more opposed to this marriage.
He has to endure the incomprehension of others, worry about The recurrence of Qianhui every day, the loss of Xiaohua's mother, where the money comes from, and many other things that make people collapse. In the end, he uses his mature mind and love for Senkei as a fulcrum to raise the whole family.
A thousand benefits for the breakthrough of love
For the sake of Shingo, for the sake of Xiaohua, after each chemotherapy, she endured the continuous nausea and pain, got up every morning to cheer herself up, and insisted on living. When her hair fell out, she put on a hat, cut her breasts, and put on a fake. She tried to restrain her inner fears and negative emotions, and cooked the most exquisite meals every day for Shingo to return.
Young mothers who have recently graduated from college have no way to do hairstyles, makeup, and wear beautiful clothes. She has no hair a lot of times, and she can't hold a small flower because of the pain. But she persevered.
She couldn't hear others say the word cancer, so she asked Shingo and her friends to call cancer "boo", and Shingo's interest began to read: breast boo, throat boo, stomach boo. Qianhui laughed, cancer is indeed like a time bomb, threatening their small family, at any time there is a possibility of "bang" a bang. Chie, Shingo, and Xiaohana have been using love to stop the timer, and they hold back their pain and enjoy the happiness that time is short.
Chie's father said: "Illness has broken the hope of life" Even without such a disease, many adults are emotionally difficult to stabilize because of emotional, work, housing, and car pressures. People are carrying weights forward, intermittently collapsing, persistently enduring, and then moving on. As it is said in "This Killer Is Not Too Cold": Life has always been so difficult. We can only choose to go down with the same mind and love as Shingo and Chie.
<h1>The life of the "gold-sucking insect" continues with miso soup</h1>
Chie got pregnant with a child a year after marriage, and having a child will bring a greater chance of cancer recurrence, so Chie has been hesitant. My father called her and said, "I want you to be born with the determination to die."
Many people may not be able to understand The approach of Qianhui's father, and the more people experience in middle age, it is easy to understand the life principles of many people. I think Chie's father did this because he has been indebted to Chie due to illness, but at the same time, Chie is the reason why he keeps alive. Having a child is not only a continuation of life, but also a concern and hope for life, and the father wants to give Chie and Shingo a hope to live.
Her father continued Chie's hopes with small flowers, and Chie injected this inheritance into a bowl of Miso soup.
Yu Juan once said: After living for so many years, I have been studying, house, car, until the end of my life to understand Zhang Ailing's words: life is like a gorgeous robe, which is full of fleas. Robes are the foundation of life, and people used to focus only on fleas. At the end of the day, I feel that my body is the most important.
When she learned that her cancer had spread throughout her body, Qianhui decided to teach Xiaohua to make miso soup, and if one day she left, Xiaohua would cook her own food, and she would be able to live well on her own. You have to cook well in order to eat well, and you can't eat well, because you can eat to live.
This kind of children's perspective of the film is really too easy to touch people's hearts, many times you look at adults in difficult situations may not be able to bring a lot of emotions, but looking at the kind of innocence and understanding that a 4-year-old ignorant child embodies in the fight against cancer with his mother, there will be special heartache and pity.
Xiaohua's understanding is painful, and at the age of four, she stands on a stool every day to make miso soup. Before Chie's concert performance, Xiaohua carried a large jar of miso soup that did not match her body to Chie, and she thought that Chie would have spirit after drinking miso soup.
What she didn't know was that Qianhui taught her to make miso soup and do housework, because she wanted to teach her Qianhui's deepest sense of life. The thick miso soup is integrated into Qianhui's deepest sense of life. When she graduated a few years ago, Qianhui thought that she could go on stage and make music, had broad prospects, and should not get married.
After falling ill, she has always felt that she is particularly lucky, meeting Shingo, having a small flower, and at the same time remembering the greatness of her father. At this time, she felt that she was an ordinary person, she recognized her ordinaryness earlier than others, so she cherished every second of family time. The important thing is love, and good health, she added the feeling like a seasoning into the miso soup, passed on to the little flower, maybe the little flower will have more feelings in the future, adding other flavors to the soup, just like the sesame seed she added.
The film has many times filmed Qianhui sitting on the sofa basking in the sun, the family of three going to the beach for a walk, the sea and the sky intersect under the long-range lens, dotted with shadows. The warm sunshine, the gentleness of getting along, the healthy body, and the fragrant nature have always been the most beautiful things, and they are also the things that we are most likely to ignore because of the rush to chase.
Chie is gone, but miso soup will continue to be passed on, and of course, miso soup needs to add different personal feelings.
<h1>postscript</h1>
Yu Juan wrote the book "This Life Is Not Completed" to her son Potato, and Qianhui recorded Xiaohua's growth and her own anti-cancer diary with "Early Bedtime and Early Rise Brown Rice Life", leaving this "Miso Soup of Xiaohua".
I've seen a lot of cancer patients, felt the oppressive breast cancer floor that fills the whole air, and patients like Yu Juan and Qianhui who have always used an optimistic and positive attitude, putting death aside, and trying to make every second that remains good are really very few and very infectious. What impresses people is to hold back the constant pinprick pain and squeeze out a smile to encourage others to live well.
After watching these books and movies, the deepest feeling is that they can make you reconsider life, whether to do regular physical examinations, whether you should not only force children to learn, but should first teach them how to live and how to make a good dish.
Yu Juan said that later she felt that she should not stay up late and pay attention to her body. Why buy a car and change to a big house? Instead of using the money in your hand to buy a pair of socks for your parents first?
The pressure of life can easily make us lose ourselves, paste the people and objects we should see the most, and ignore the purest love and simplest happiness in life. We must live well and do a good job of miso soup, rather than worrying about the loss of the other and leaving regrets and feeling that this life is not complete.
Note: I really burst into tears after watching the movie, and I remember my favorite aunt with this article.