Listen to the book "Life Without Parental Control" and sort out your thoughts and thoughts.
Each of us is not perfect, so are our parents, each of us will be more or less affected by immature parents, and bring some bad influences and habits to our children, but we can be aware of ourselves through continuous learning, reading, changing ourselves, so that the loss in the vicious circle is reduced, so that our children live better.
When we come to listen to this book, we are all adult parents, but we are only physically adults, our wisdom has not yet extended deep into the emotional world, and ourselves may not be mature enough in many conveniences. So we need to change our growth through continuous learning, to make ourselves better, so that our children can grow into the way they want to be.
Leo Tolstoy once said, "Happy families are all similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes." We always use this sentence to lament that the misfortunes encountered in life have never thought deeply about why a happy family is so harmonious and beautiful.
Through studying today, I feel like I got part of the answer – happy families don't have a compulsive person. In fact, the person in the family who likes to control others and let others do things according to her requirements is also very unfortunate, she herself lacks a sense of security, and she herself has been the object of domination and control.
Many unhappy families are because their parents have not yet matured in the true sense, they have not received enough love, understanding and recognition, and they no longer know how to learn, to change, to reconcile with themselves, to reconcile with the original family, they themselves live awkwardly, how to guide children to grow and develop better.
The child is a mirror of the parent, and if you look closely, you will see your own shadow in the child. When you complain that your child is bad, not good, and not learning, do you stop to look at what changes you need to make? As parents, we are always strong to ask our children, and self-righteously believe that their ideas are right and cannot be challenged, and everyone thinks about what changes they can make when they want to change others.
We always want to change others, and finally find that you are exhausted and waste so much time and energy but still indifferent, but if we take out the courage and motivation to change children and change others to change ourselves, I believe that we will definitely see a different self, and at the same time we will see the people we try to change, invisibly changed, the effect of doubling things with half the effort also appears, we and the people we want to change have become better, and life has become better and happier.
The British fairy tale prince Oscar Wilde once said, "We all live in the gutter, and there are still people who look up at the stars." "People who can truly perceive themselves are always able to awaken their inner selves and have a rich inner world; such people can always take care of their emotions, can regulate their body and mind, can pay attention to their physical feelings, be optimistic and enterprising; can clarify their needs, know their goals and belonging.
People who can take good care of themselves can take better care of others. Only by making your heart rich, full and harmonious can you bring happiness and security to those around you. The reason why a happy family is happy is because there are good parents, and good parents are like the needles of the sea god in the family, always making the family happy and harmonious, full of security and belonging.
Although Meyer's parents left in "Life by Me", her influence on her made her firm every step and gradually meet a better self. As parents, there is no need to be overprotective of their children, which can only cause them to become disconnected from reality and responsibility and become incompetent. We can't decide a child's future, but we need to cultivate good habits and teach her enough independent survival.
The influence brought to her by Meyer's parents allowed her to actively face the hardships she encountered in her life and in her life, and she persevered through every obstacle in her life, living a better self at the same time, but also better affecting her children's lives.
Parents are the strong support of children, but we always hear some parents say that my children always do not listen to me and do not take my words seriously.
The child doesn't listen to you because she doesn't want to be with you, doesn't want to be like you, doesn't want to be like you. Of course it's because you're not doing well enough, he doesn't worship you, and you're not her role model. You are not attractive to her, and she is not willing to believe what you say no matter how reasonable it is. So the reason is that you yourself have not been able to "live well".
What to do? Is there no way out? You have to believe that there is a way to do anything, and that is that you have to work hard to live well and make yourself attractive. You have to have the ability to learn, and the continuous upward force on your body can impress your child.
You have to constantly cultivate yourself, turn yourself into a magnet, make people want to be close to you, let the child want to be close to you, when you live well, you have an attraction, you don't need to grasp anything. When your child wants to be with you from the bottom of her heart and wants to give you the same, such a child does not need to be taught, she will take the initiative to approach you and silently follow you to learn. The German educationalist Froepel said that "the way of education, love and example, apart from him." That's the way it is.
Taste pleasure and discover the small luck and small beauty in life. A good education should be enlightening, it should be guiding. We must learn to experience every beautiful moment in life, you feel life with your heart, you will make your feelings become richer, so that your brain circuits become more positive. When you can experience the good, feel the good, be optimistic and positive, your child will naturally follow you to become positive, happy, and happy.
When she becomes simple and happy, the brain will naturally fill up a lot of good things, she will be optimistic and positive to absorb knowledge, so that she will learn knowledge will not be for others, but for pure fun, for pleasure and learning, so as to become a happy learning, happy growth of the child.
In order to better change the child, we must first change ourselves better. Get to know yourself and find yourself well and willing to work hard.
We must know that the value of each person is different, and people are equal to each other. At the same time, we must accept ourselves unconditionally, so that we can make changes and grow better. We live ourselves well, and we naturally attract what we want.
Accept the past, look forward to the future, have a better mentality, be good at making plans, be good at reflecting on yourself, be aware of yourself, be an empathetic, aware person, peaceful and calm.
Be a better self, with the way you work hard, the power of progress, your good changes and persistence to affect your children, live well, and invisibly educate your children well.