Zhang Xiaolin: Xiaoxi

Dawn

If marriage is the graveyard of love, then the birth of the child must be the day of burial, and all the moments that can move people are on the grave. However, the world is uncertain, the tomb passage that thinks that the body fits will become squeezed and narrow, and over time, the number of times to go to the grave will become less and less, so it is a new way of living to change the pit to sleep.

"Fortunately, my newly married husband cherished my fate, not so much a kind of luck, but rather a kind of acting, a nirvana rebirth after a variety of changes and refinement." No one wants to mention the past heartache, Xiaoxi is the same, she has some taste in every sentence, occasionally sweet, and bitter and spicy. Our conversation lasted from after lunch to sunset, and at this moment her eyes were all the flames of the sunset, a crimson red.

Xiaoxi's balcony is a floor-to-ceiling window on three sides of Nuoda, with a top bookshelf to separate the distance and life, the balcony is a place to read books, the bookshelf is the living room, when her husband is at home, they spend most of their time drowning on the sofa. Outside the bookshelf is a tatami mattress, and a small mahogany table is placed to drink tea, which can greet the morning sun and the sunset. Xu was afraid of the books, and made beige curtains, like a mosquito net, turning the small balcony into a palace, a place where the princess was allowed to dream.

Xiaoxi's husband is not very literate and hyphenated, but likes to buy books back, messy everything to buy, half a year of marriage, it filled the entire bookshelf, he only knows that his wife loves to read, but does not understand what kind of filling his wife needs in her heart, so a lot of concerns about the square inch is chaotic.

Xiaoxi was very grateful for this man's love, and since he intended to do what he liked to do, whether he was dissatisfied or dissatisfied, he had to be grateful and spoiled. I suddenly asked, "What about those books from your past?" Xiaoxi's heart was scratched, it was the kind of displeasure that mentioned the sad thing, she said: "It was sold, and it was disposed of as a waste product."

Xiaoxi's books were collected from the libraries of cities in the era of underdeveloped Internet, and among the girls in us, she had the most books in her family. Xiaoxi is the most capable of us, after graduating from college, she got married, started a business, she has everything that is deserved, and we can't learn the hard work she has.

It was not surprising that she would have an ex-husband, xiaoxi got married so early, she had not been in love, she was touched when she saw the good, and the man came to her life just in time, so she stayed in his city, only because she had a child in her belly.

Like most marriages, their love was sweet at the beginning, and when they entered the marriage, they realized that they were not married, but fell into the pit. His husband is spoiled and raised, the left hand does not hold, the right hand does not pinch, the mother-in-law is stubborn, xiaoxi all the complaints can be exchanged for a sentence from the mother-in-law, "I did not agree to your marriage, I can't bear to mutilate a life before I agree to marry you through the door." The child was born, her husband cheated, not so much cheating, but rather as a resurgence of old love with those women outside, Xiaoxi married a male brother, which is why her mother-in-law did not like her, rich people always care about the distinction between the door, who let Xiaoxi's family be poor and white.

Civil service examination, Xiaoxi and his wife were both shortlisted, it was an era of spending money to do things, the mother-in-law said that the family's money is only enough for one person to do activities, although Xiaoxi's score is so much higher than her husband's, but she gave up. The husband's entry is more expensive, the child just after the full moon began to stay all night without going home, Xiaoxi is a strong girl, she lived in that family for six years, in six years her husband gambled, raised lovers, went home to beat his wife.

You may say that Xiaoxi should divorce him, but whoever wants to be divorced is Xiaoxi. One minute she was still at work, and the next minute her clothes were thrown downstairs, and the women outside were not willing to remain nameless and unemployed, and they wanted to occupy the little belongings of Xiao Xi's mother-in-law's house.

I want to put my arms around my Dawn, those years we walked together on the campus playground, she is so sunny, so delicate and moving, when it comes to the upcoming wedding, she said to invite us all to her home as guests. During the period, I heard many times from my classmates that she was not happy, but I did not dare to think that it was not easy, my husband was violent, he beat Xiaoxi into the hospital many times, and his nose and blue face were not physical pain, but the enthusiasm of living became weaker day by day.

She said she ran once, leaving her nursing child and running to Xinjiang, where one of our classmates came to Xinjiang, and she thought that turning off her mobile phone would turn off all the dark life. For five days she did not look back at her hometown, the milk was raised, and even the meridians on her back were full of milk, and drops fell out of her heart, soaking the thin clothes, but on the outside was a leather coat, wrapping the last trace of her self-esteem.

She insisted that she would be born again after leaving, and thought that she would go back to pick up the child after settling herself. The closest people always know where the knife is stabbed just right, just turned on is the child's cry, one after another. Xiaoxi did not have time to see the sun in Urumqi, even bought a return ticket overnight, slept on the hard board sleeper bed, her tears flowed from her chest, for the sake of the child she confessed her fate, this life can not be a happy woman, then be a qualified mother.

After another punch and kick, Xiaoxi left with the child, the child less than one year old was sent to the early education kindergarten by her, and she also started working in that kindergarten, but she could only do some canteen chores, for the child is also a way of life, stay up, every inch of the child's growth, is her own inch of hope.

In a year, two years, the child has begun to read, and she can do higher-paying work. Selling houses and cars Xiaoxi had savings, the salesman became the supervisor, and the husband who was not a tool changed his mind.

For a while, their family of three lived in a rental house of less than twenty square meters, so warm, so sweet, she went to work, her husband cooked for her, went to pick up the child, and then lifted the child above his head and rode in his neck, running wildly. As the sun set, a father and son chased the sun away, then looked back at her and then ran away. Husbands will warm up the use of bus seats for their mother and son, and then use their bodies to protect the integrity of their wives and children. It was a long-lost warmth, and it was a completely different picture from the usual way she dragged her crying child to catch the bus.

The child loves her father, it is a kind of affection that is dissolved in water, and she cannot stop the circulation of these two bloodlines, so she follows her husband back home. The husband has a class, and he also goes to find another job, and it is also a new happiness for the child to go to the kindergarten and have grandparents to help pick up and drop off.

The happiness that Xiaoxi was looking forward to did not wait, what was waiting for was a huge pit where her husband was bottomless, this man gambled and lost money, and went to find them both to hide debts, he tricked Xiaoxi into coming back to help Xiaoxi with the loan, and paid off his debts a day earlier. The child had just received the father's love, she could not bear to cut it, so she helped to borrow money, helped borrow money, and finally the gang of debt collectors did not come to the door. He thought that this man would be grateful to her, she thought that the mother-in-law would treat her differently, Xiaoxi was wrong, she thought that after all, she only thought.

Before the money had even begun to pay back, the man had brought the other woman home, divorce was fine, and the debt had to be half covered. XiaoXi had nothing to say, her ability could not afford to pay so many debts, even if she was willing to spend her own efforts to repay, the child had to suffer with it, she did not pay back the same can not say, the court's Scale does not know the reason for the debt.

It was another two or three years, and all his salary did not have to be transferred by himself to directly fill the loan. The in-laws have a piece of land that suddenly increased in value, this news is still rumored when Xiaoxi was driven out by her husband, when she left, she was full of thoughts, tried to choose a high-rise building to jump down, and also thought about letting the train press her, but in the end she was reluctant to leave the child, carrying a thick debt, she went to work every day, after knowing the matter of the land, she was seriously ill.

Five years or six years, Xiaoxi did not say clearly, she knew her current husband, at this time Xiaoxi was already at ease in the workplace. This is a simple man, as simple as Xiaoxi was, he loves her, willing to give all his savings to her to take care of, crawling and rolling for many years, Xiaoxi has been very good at using his beauty, she knows when to cry, when to laugh, the most able to pinch this man's heart.

How to live the new day, Xiaoxi said that marriage is a single business, and it is only a win-win situation to love your customers with your heart and hard, but the other party is only a party A who can cooperate, and forbearance and compromise will only reduce their own value. She loves this man in her heart, but she doesn't say it, she doesn't mention what she wants, and she also feels guilty that her vigilance of being bitten by a snake will continue in the new marriage, but she knows better how to keep love fresh for a long time.

Mentioning the books of the past, she was very upset, she did not have the strength to protect them and still bought them, even if they were not expensive, they should be valuable, rather than being thrown around like herself. In the end, in order to make room for a little space, she was sold by her in-laws as scrap, in fact, what was sold was not the book, but the weight of Xiaoxi in that home, if she would have refuted that maybe those books were still there, she should still be there.

I had lunch and dinner at her house, all made by her husband, he saw Xiaoxi's eyes were all joyful, we just had to chat, he also said that friends rarely come back, even Xiaoxi's children are crawling on the man's stomach to play games, you can see that they have no barriers.

In the night, I walked out of Xiaoxi's house and ate the sugar of the day, which was very sweet.

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