Text/Shrimp Rice is struggling
Idle and bored, he chose the latter in "Twenty Not Confused" and "Thirty Only".
I am already in my 20s, and I am more concerned about the stories of this group of 30-year-old women.
I'm not one of the three heroine genres, but I always find resonance.
I usually went to bed before 12 o'clock, but I stayed up until 2:30 a.m., just to watch the seventh episode that was just updated.
When I closed the tablet, my mind was full of Zhong Xiaoqin.
Although this girl who is about to turn 30 is married, her mind is simply like that of an underage girl.
The workplace can get by, the family can do anything, anyway, there is no big pursuit, but also happy to be easy to satisfy.
However, her marriage was not happy.
Obviously, they have only been married for three years, but the husband and wife are living a strange life.
Clothes are washed, animals are kept, and although the meal is at the same table, no one pays attention to anyone.
What happened to this marriage?
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >01</h1>
Girlfriend Gu Jia commented on Zhong Xiaoqin, "You are always used to taking other people's ideas as your own ideas, if others say they like it, you say it's good, if others hate it, you don't want it."
In short, Zhong Xiaoqin is an old and good person.
Just arrived at the company, Zhong Xiaoqin was told that "the leader asked her to clean up the workstation", so I thought she had piled up a bunch of information on the desktop.
As a result, when I trotted to the table in two steps, I found that her desk was full of office and household items.
It's just that she's not an administrator, that is, these things aren't what she needs for work.
"Xiaoqin, do you have needles and threads?" The buttons of the skirt were opened. ”
"Xiaoqin, you go get off the coffee machine and choke to death when you eat the bun."
"Xiaoqin..."
Zhong Xiaoqin had just begun to sort out a box of clips, and the number of people who came to her for help was endless.
It was all things that had nothing to do with work, and none of them were indispensable to Zhong Xiaoqin, but she didn't say a word of refusal, and she even enjoyed it.
Zhong Xiaoqin has been in this company for 6 years, and in a few months she will be 30 years old.
But seeing that those who are younger than her and who come later than her are all promoted and raised, she is still a grassroots employee who makes forms.
Fortunately, Zhong Xiaoqin did not pursue, and she was happy to accept such an ordinary life.
The character of a good old man is not helpful for work, but it is not harmful, at most it is to do more chores.
She only needs to follow the steps, nine to five, and she can be stable and comfortable.
But marriage, under her good old and good personality, broke out one crisis after another.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >02</h1>
Just as a daughter-in-law hates her mother-in-law for sneaking into her own home, the son-in-law hates her mother-in-law for doing so.
Chen Yu returned from a business trip, casually glanced at it, and saw four dishes and one soup on the table.
There is no doubt that Zhong Xiaoqin's mother ran in alone when there was no one at home.
Tidy up the room, clean up, cook the dishes.
Chen Yu didn't like these and mentioned it to Zhong Xiaoqin many times, but it was always useless.
"I told my mom, so she went from four times a week to twice a week."
"My mom is all for our own good, and she doesn't want us to order takeout."
Zhong Xiaoqin's words mean that because her mother wants to, we must accept it.
It is not difficult to imagine that when Zhong Xiaoqin talked to her mother about this issue, her mother was unwilling and proposed that she would not come a few times less.
Of course, Zhong Xiaoqin knew that Chen Yu didn't like it, but her good old and good personality made her dare not reject her mother again.
As a result, Mother Zhong only came twice a week, but Chen Yu still felt that her personal space was violated.
In fact, in the marriage relationship, both husband and wife are a community of interests, and neither party represents only themselves.
Although Zhong Xiaoqin is a person and her mother "negotiates", in fact, she represents Chen Yu.
She handled the problem according to her own personality, but did not achieve the result that Chen Yu wanted.
She felt aggrieved, Chen Yu felt dissatisfied, and the conflict happened.
In fact, if Zhong Xiaoqin resolutely refuses, perhaps the relationship between the two will be much more relaxed.
Unfortunately, she didn't know how to refuse.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >3</h1>
Once a month, take good measures, Zhong Xiaoqin is still unexpectedly pregnant.
Obviously it wasn't her fault, but her first reaction was chagrin.
She struggled again and again, WeChat wrote and deleted, and finally did not send this message.
The reason why she was so trembling was that she "told Chen Yu earlier that she would not have children in five years."
It was just an agreement from three years ago, but it had such a great deterrent effect on her.
She didn't know whether to have this child or not, not only because she didn't know the responsibility of "being a mother", but most importantly, she didn't know whether she wanted to make a decision different from Chen Yu, whether she wanted to "disobey" Chen Yu.
When Chen Yu saw the pregnancy test, Zhong Xiaoqin was nervous.
When Chen Yu laughed and said about abortion, Zhong Xiaoqin was angry.
She may still not know what she wants, but she certainly already knows what she doesn't want.
However, she still went to have an abortion in a huff, because Chen Yu wanted her to do so.
On the day of the operation, she made excuses to escape from the operating room, and she finally found out that she wanted to give birth to the child.
Mother's love is greater than her cowardice and contrivance, and mother's love forces her to walk out of the trouble of "not refusing".
But she still did not dare to face Chen Yu directly, so she lied, so she and Gu Jia made a round.
Originally wanted to arouse Chen Yu's father's love, but unexpectedly self-defeating, Chen Yu was furious because he felt that he had been deceived and fooled.
If Zhong Xiaoqin is not the character of an "old good person", if she does not feel guilty about the unexpected pregnancy, if she communicated with Chen Yu at the first time, if she directly said her thoughts when she came out of the operating room, things would not be so complicated at all.
But unfortunately, in marriage, a resultless quarrel is a crack that has not been repaired.
It doesn't bring down a house, but it can also pose a threat to the safety of the house.
Zhong Xiaoqin did not fall out with Chen Yu, but laid the groundwork for future mutual incomprehension.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >04</h1>
Good old people are good old people because they don't know how to reject others, not because they don't want to reject others.
Therefore, those accumulated unhappiness and sullenness will slowly take root in their hearts.
The day when the buds grow into towering trees is the day when contradictions, conflicts, and incomprehensions erupt.
In the workplace, the good old man can't become a "non-old good man", anyway, if it collapses, it will collapse, and if it doesn't work, it will change companies.
But in marriage, the end of the collapse is that the two people who once loved each other can only shoot and scatter.
This tight but fragile marital relationship is often unable to withstand this huge and violent impact.
So we often see that wives who used to be good at talking suddenly have to divorce resolutely, and husbands who used to be good at talking suddenly don't even come home.
What's more, sometimes the personality of the old and good people will also threaten the interests of the family, and the relationship between the husband and wife will naturally be affected, and the final result is still not optimistic.
In fact, to be honest, the old good people's original intentions are good, and they think that maybe this compromise can be exchanged for harmony.
It's just that people are all intensifying, accepting a compromise from others once, thinking about the second time, the third time.
Good old people will one day collapse, will doubt, will not be willing, will be painful.
Instead of this, it is better to say no loudly at the beginning, not for victory, just to make the other party lower expectations, not to gain inches.
May we not be wronged ourselves, and we will not be the good old and bullied.