01, the appearance is likeable
Many children like to go to the zoo to see the giraffe ----- the national second-class protected animal, long neck, big eyes, a pair of small short horns with fur on the head, the whole body is speckled, covered with black brown, patched reticulated coats of different shapes and sizes, is a very docile and cute wild animal. Therefore, children love it and want to get close to it and touch its body with their hands. Adults not only like the giraffe's appearance, meek personality and other characteristics, but also prefer its "special characteristics" ------ nonviolent communication language patterns.
02 Two language patterns
The language model of nonviolent communication, from the book "Nonviolent Communication", the author of the book Marshall Luxemburg is the founder and director of educational services of the International Peacemaking Organization Nonviolent Communication Center, and in the past few decades, it has influenced a lot of people around the world and delivered a lot of positive energy. It is a classic bestseller in communication and one of the 50 must-read books recommended by the University of Hong Kong. The author figuratively compares the language pattern of communication with two animals------ the language pattern of the giraffe and the language pattern of the jackal. Giraffes represent nonviolent communication patterns, and jackals represent violent communication patterns, that is, language patterns in our daily lives. This metaphor makes people feel very graphic and appropriate.
03 Words from the heart
What is the giraffe nonviolent communication language model? Nonviolent communication is a pattern of language that comes from within. Giraffes are the largest animals on land, and when they reach adulthood, their hearts are about 20 to 40 kilograms, close to the weight of a little girl. So, it's a way of speaking with your heart. So why call it a giraffe nonviolent communication model? What are the characteristics? Let's take a closer look.
04Foresight
The first feature is that giraffes are particularly tall and able to see particularly long distances, rather than just looking at the front of the eyes, blocking contact with distant places. Because of its size, it can see a long distance and see if there is a dangerous situation happening around it. It's like people often say, stand tall and look far. A feeling of "being at the top of the mountain, overlooking the mountains". Only by being far-sighted can we be forward-looking and forward-looking. If Ma Yun does not have a forward-looking vision of Internet applications, it is impossible to have the convenient and fast wide application of today's Taobao and Alipay.
05 Calm and calm
The second characteristic is that giraffes are very calm and rarely attacked, and adult giraffes rarely have natural predators. For example, a Western journalist asked Premier Zhou Enlai, "Mr. Prime Minister, are there any prostitutes in China today?" "Many people wonder: How can such a question be asked? Such a question entails a great provocation. Premier Zhou affirmatively said: "There is" an uproar at the venue, and Premier Zhou saw everyone's doubts and added: "Chinese prostitutes are in Taiwan Province of China." After answering, thunderous applause suddenly rang out. Premier Zhou's calm and calm attitude, as well as his alert and agile response, not only answered gently, but also effectively safeguarded the country's reputation, which is worth learning and learning from. This is the embodiment of nonviolent language.
06 Good at transformation
The third feature is that giraffes have very special teeth, can eat a lot of thorny food, and can also convert thorns into nutrients. It is a process of extracting nutrients and transforming them into other forms. When we learned the book Nonviolent Communication, can we change our speaking habits and behavioral cognition? Has the language spoken to our parents, children, teachers, friends, leaders, colleagues, etc. changed? A friend of mine, through study, reading books to change his mode of interpersonal relationships, used to be very afraid of seeing strangers, did not dare to talk to people when meeting, very shy. Now gradually become a confident person who dares to speak at the meeting, breaks through himself and improves his communication skills.
07 Violent Language Patterns
In our daily lives, 80% of the unhappiness is a communication problem. Is it not often that some people, when they are hurt by other people's language, immediately refute it, and the extreme situation will be thunderous, from verbal violence to physical violence. This is the Jackal Language Pattern. There is a scene like this: colleagues are gathering together, someone may have an opinion on the unit and someone else, speak excitedly, and directly say: "There is no grandfather left here." After hearing this, the leader of the unit immediately said: "Two-legged toads are not easy to find, and two-legged people are everywhere." "Is this kind of language pattern often appearing?" The damage caused is not getting more and more serious, and the scope of the impact is getting bigger and bigger. This form of communication is the violent language pattern.
08 Speak well
In daily life, have you ever encountered a lot of special talking, so that people are particularly comfortable after hearing it. Husband can't go home for dinner after working overtime at night, he took the initiative to call his wife and said: "Wife, today is your birthday, but our unit needs to work overtime tonight, I'm sorry!" I can't celebrate my birthday with you, can I make it up for you another day?" "The wife is very disappointed, but when she hears what her husband says, is she no longer angry and angry? That's the beauty of nonviolent communication. The giraffe is very vividly described as a more comprehensive view of things, able to express itself honestly and clearly, while respecting and listening to others. Therefore, the language of nonviolent communication, also known as the giraffe's language pattern.
Communication is essential in daily life, let us speak well and avoid misunderstandings in communication. Let's objectively state our feelings by observing the facts, and objectively and politely ask the other party for help by asking for help. Improve our own speaking level, broaden interpersonal relationships, and achieve the effect of smooth communication and smooth everything.