The golden age of parenthood is only 10 years.
Children enter adulthood at the age of 18. And "adolescence" is already "late childhood", close to adulthood. The farther back you go, the farther away you are from your parents.
Nevertheless, the education of parents still affects the child's life.
In 2017, 16-year-old Wu Yishu shined in the second season of the "Chinese Poetry Conference", passing all the way and finally winning the finals.
In 2019, she was admitted to Xinya College of Tsinghua University with a total score of 613 points in science (660 points in the Shanghai college entrance examination).
Behind such an excellent girl, there is naturally a pair of excellent parents.
In order to teach their daughter, Wu Yishu's parents gave up playing cards and mobile phones, taking their daughter to read the "Twenty-Four Histories" and "Classics of Mountains and Seas" together, role-playing famous plots together, playing idiom solitaire together, and reading ancient poems...
Wu Yishu's father, Wu Lei, turns off his mobile phone after work at 4:30 every day and concentrates on reading and studying with his daughter.
It is this kind of deep companionship that has cultivated an enviable child like Wu Yishu.
This makes the "cold door" parents feel very congested: they are too busy to have time to breathe, how can they have time to spend with their children?
In fact, the time spent with children can be "squeezed out", and Gao Gao's book "Parents are the best toys for children" mentions that what is really important is the quality of companionship, not the length of companionship.
In order to achieve deep companionship, it is necessary to avoid the following two "inefficient accompaniment" methods.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" data-track="18" > playing with the baby</h1>
Playing with mobile phones with a baby is something that many parents do. As everyone knows, such accompaniment is not only ineffective accompaniment, but also easy to cause tragedy.
Parents playing with their phones outside the house and suffocating inside the baby pool for 72 seconds
A 4-year-old drowns in a swimming pool and his mother plays with her phone 2 meters away
Parents play with their mobile phones while watching the baby, and the child is crushed by the community car
The child fell to his death while playing with the escalator, and the mother played with the mobile phone without knowing it
The father was addicted to his mobile phone, and his daughter fell from the third floor and was seriously injured
……
Such news, just looking at the headlines, makes people feel sorry.
Are these parents not loving their children enough? No, they just get used to playing with their phones and always feel that things in the news won't happen to them. However, once these accidents occur, the pain caused is irreparable.
In addition, parents are role models for children, and children will learn a lot from their parents. So, behind a child who is addicted to playing with mobile phones, there will always be parents who are addicted to mobile phones.
Instead of blaming children for being inseparable from mobile phones, parents may wish to quit their "mobile phone addiction".
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" data-track="48" > force the child to come according to his own ideas when accompanying the baby</h1>
Some parents attach great importance to the education of their children, learned a bunch of parenting methods, and even how to play with their children, they also found a good tutorial.
Parents always think, "I have to accompany my baby once, I always have to teach him something."
So I always can't help but point fingers when the child plays: the child wants to play with the slide, but in order to exercise his courage, let him climb high; the child wants to pile the blocks into a house, and has to encourage him to assemble the shape ...
As everyone knows, always letting children come according to their own requirements is actually destroying children's creativity and is not conducive to the healthy development of children.
The book mentions such an example: Xiaoli is a fifth-grade student, who has to carefully complete the homework assigned by the teacher every day, as well as the practice problems bought by her mother, and learn dance according to her mother's wishes on weekends. In the eyes of others, she is almost a perfect child, but in a summer camp activity, Xiaoli was persuaded to quit, because she did not know how to communicate with her friends, and she always contradicted the small partners around her...
Suppressing the nature of children is bound to cause problems.
Children who are always dominated by their parents are also prone to lack of foresight.
So what to do, is it efficient to accompany?
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="03" data-track="49" > best family education, which is to turn the home into a playground for children. </h1>
During the epidemic period, Kou Shunxin and his son, a villager in Houcunying Village, BaodingXing County, Hebei Province, designed and built a sand table model with mountains, rivers and ravines in their own warehouses, and the father and son duo wrote, directed, self-acted, dubbed, edited and even learned to key images to do special effects, and filmed their process of playing with toys into a "war blockbuster".
Kou Shunxin said that parents now have to learn to grab their children with mobile phones. The previous two fathers and sons basically did not speak, but after this "companionship", not only did the son become cheerful, but the relationship between father and son also improved significantly.
Some parents even learn skills and improve themselves in the process of accompanying their children.
Obstetrician and gynecologist Yoshida not only studied hard while accompanying the baby, but also was admitted to Harvard University. Her book "Just Because I Don't Have Time, I Can Do Anything" is regarded by the public as a classic of time management.
Harvard University
Some people say that this is an era of "fighting father and mother", and it is indeed so. Parents are the best mapping for children. Parents' vision affects the child's life; parents know politeness, understand the rules, the child will be popular; parents are excellent, the child will be wonderful;
The famous educator Sukhomlinsky once said:
"Every adult should remember that only when their actions are upright and noble can the moral ideas he uphold penetrates deep into the child's psyche and governs the child's thoughts and feelings."
Educating children begins with correcting themselves.