Have you ever had a communication problem in your life or work before?
Do you care what others think of you?
Do you want to break through the barriers to communication and have a lot of difficulties?
Yang Tianzhen's book "Take Yourself Seriously" emphasizes the key to the problem, emphasizing that communication is inseparable from sincerity, directness, problem solving, empathy, consensus and self-communication. Yang Tianzhen has worked as a TV director and agent, starting from her own work and life experience, telling the rich cases she has experienced since she started her career, and proposing her own communication methods and solutions in a targeted manner. Use the combination of case + method to help you crack the underlying logic behind communication and truly achieve a breakthrough yourself.
Yang Tianzhen's attitude of "taking yourself seriously" has become what everyone wants to be, so how should we communicate with ourselves, communicate with the world, and live up to ourselves? The points discussed in this book touched me deeply.
1. Sincerity is the bottom line to avoid war
The book gives an example, everyone in our society stands on the same level to watch the drama on the stage in front of us, originally everyone is standing well, and no one can stop each other. Suddenly, in order to be able to see more clearly, a person tiptoed his feet without consulting everyone. Everyone advised him, but he did not listen, so the people behind him could only tiptoe helplessly. This behavior radiates, causing people on the left and right to tiptoe around. In the end, everyone tiptoed up, which was the same effect as when everyone didn't tiptoe at the beginning, except that everyone was helpless and tired...
In fact, this phenomenon is not in the minority, but many people in life will give up sincere work for the so-called interests, such as the price war between some industries, in order to be able to promote business transactions, some enterprises are willing to deal below the market price, not only destroying the normal and fair market order, but also making their way farther and narrower.
It is said that trust is like a piece of paper, wrinkled, even if it is smoothed, it cannot be restored to its original state. It's like trust between people and people, which is difficult to build at first, but it is also the easiest thing to lose and the hardest to recover. Therefore, do not give up the sincerity of doing things for the sake of the immediate interests. Only by truly learning to be sincere and keep practicing it will we make our way wider and wider.
2. Solve the problem and make you more confident
Yang Tianzhen gave a very grounded answer to the problem, first of all, what is the reason for this error? Second, what is the solution? Finally, what is the method to make this error not happen in the future?
So it is not difficult to see that she is a goal-oriented person, she is more concerned about how to actively find solutions to the way of communication, rather than over-blaming people who make mistakes, which is still quite praised, a really good boss, is to take you to grow, teach you how to do things, rather than tangled in the right and wrong of the problem.
The book also talks about a review experience, which is worth learning.
Yang Tianzhen's team has a "white paper" working mechanism, that is, the mistakes made before and the thunder that have been stepped on are sorted into the white paper, the more detailed the better, of which three points can not be ignored: the cause of the error, the solution method and the prevention strategy.
In addition, for people who have just entered the workplace, it is even more important to prepare a white paper of their own, record the mistakes they have made in work and life, and often look at them, so that they can not only accelerate their own progress, but also become more confident in communication.
In addition, the book also mentions that the plan should be prepared before communication, and the problem should be solved earlier than the problem, and this method of solving the problem is also worth learning.
3. Be sure to think ahead of others
The book tells a story, once Yang Tianzhen drove to meet a friend who was the boss, but unexpectedly the car sounded an alarm halfway through the road, the tire had a problem, and he could only drive slowly. At this time, there was still a distance between me and the other company, and the originally agreed time was imminent, and it was even more unfortunate that I had not been able to contact the friend I wanted to meet.
Her way of dealing with it is: first contact the friend's secretary, first confirm that his boss has arrived at the company, the other party said yes. She also confirmed whether the boss's driver no longer needed to pick up people, and the other party said yes. Immediately after that, she asked if the driver could drive over, she drove his car to the company, and the driver drove her car to repair it. The end result was that she wasn't late and her car was fixed after the meeting.
Imagine what you would have done if you had this problem? When encountering a very tricky thing, complaining and being negative is useless, only think more about how to solve the problem, think more than others, and know how to dispatch the resources that can be used like Yang Tianzhen, you can also solve the current problem.
Referring to "scheduling the resources that can be used", there is a paragraph in the text that says it very well, grasp the sense of proportion, find people with the same goals to coordinate with you, and effectively allocate resources, you can improve efficiency.
4. Storytellers rule communication
We will find that a good story can touch people's hearts more than the big truth, so if you can transform the big truth into a way of telling a story, everyone will definitely be willing to listen to you and be more able to achieve the purpose of communication.
The book shares a small method of public expression of the author, that is, every time she speaks publicly, she will tell a story related to the theme as the beginning, usually leaving a question as a suspense at the end of the story, and leading to subsequent discussions through the solution to this problem.
The book also tells that when the company was first founded, she shared a story of her partner according to the theme in order to gain the support of investors at the annual meeting of investors.
At that time, they had a crush on a very good young artist. Because the other party is too young to sign a contract with his parents, who live in a small, isolated town, firmly believe that they are cheating in a planned and premeditated manner.
However, without the slightest hesitation, her partner went directly to the other's home. Who knew that the boy's father had brought the whole family to meet her, and throughout the meeting, they even refused to communicate with her in Mandarin, but only yelled at the boy and bombarded her.
The battle was very big, and the partners were scared enough, but did not give up. That night, the boy brought his mother to comfort his partner, and his mother talked about how she also had a dream of literature and art, how proud her son was when he was a child, and how much she hoped that her son would go out and see the bigger world with his own ability... Emotionally, both women shed tears.
At the end of the story, the boy's mother promised to let the boy sign a contract with us on the spot, and asked the partner to take him out of the town overnight. To tell this special story, Yang Tianzhen is to tell that when they encounter difficulties, they have always insisted on solving problems and have never given up. At the same time, use stories to impress people's hearts and let investors trust themselves.
Storytelling is the art of communication, and people who can really tell stories can grasp the soft places in the hearts of others and make others willing to believe in you. As the book says, truth allows us to see things, and stories allow us to see people. The truth is agreeable; the story is to be believed.
Of course, the skill of storytelling also needs to rely on their usual material accumulation, learn to observe people and things in life, reflect on the truth behind things, and understand the deep meaning behind the story, so as to better tell the story.
5. Don't know what you want, start with what you don't want
In 2020, Yang Tianzhen left the brokerage industry that had been deeply cultivated for more than ten years, and there were different voices in the outside world at that time, and did not understand why Yang Tianzhen gave up such good resources in his hands.
In the book, Yang Tianzhen talked about the real reason, she said that she could not do the compromise and tolerance required in the work standards of the agent, so she realized that she was "unworthy" to do the job of the agent again, and there was no way to continue to shoulder the mission of innovation of the whole company, so she gave up the broker job.
She began to try to do some things that she had not done before, such as learning to live stream with goods, and even began to make her own goods, creating a plus-size women's clothing brand, in fact, at the beginning of the end, she did not know what she wanted, but through continuous attempts to learn, she found her own direction of efforts, and also seemed to see the young self more than ten years ago in the exploration.
People will be prone to encounter various bottlenecks in life, some people will choose to go against the grain, while some people will choose to break through themselves and change the status quo, Yang Tianzhen belongs to the latter, she is never willing to stay in the comfort zone, but follows her heart to choose a direction more suitable for her own development.
Of course, this kind of "don't" requires confidence and courage, after all, "starting" means the unknown, but also means endless challenges and pay, but as long as you start, you have won yourself.