Text: Wu Qingqian
In the variety show "Riding the Wind 2024" spin-off program "Innocent Time", Liu Xin and Yang Tianzhen chatted about family education methods, poking the hearts of many 80s and 90s. Liu Xin, who loves to cry, emotionally said the appearance of tens of millions of elderly parents, that is, parents born in the 80s and 90s, and will not tell you that I love you, but he says I love you with actions, but some of the love is not necessarily what he wants; Yang Tianzhen rationally and even sharply said the anxiety or terrible of tens of millions of chicken baby parents, that is, imposing their own ideals on their children, or forcibly letting their children continue their success.
Liu Xin said that her parents were both soldiers, and she lacked the company of her parents throughout elementary school. Because her parents are working hard to make money, they feel that they can buy her whatever she wants to give their children happiness, so they don't have much time to spend with her, which leads to her lack of childhood. In fact, she doesn't feel that she will be happy if she wants anything, she longs more for the company of her parents. And since she was a child, she has never said anything like I love you or I miss you in her family, at least her parents never said such things to her.
For such a description, I believe that many post-80s and 90s, especially post-80s, are not unfamiliar at all, because their parents are also like this. 80, 90 parents are basically 50, 60 or 70, are already into the ranks of the elderly people, they are just like Liu Xin's parents, when they are young, they want to earn more money to enrich their children's material life, for families with slightly worse economic conditions in the face of livelihood pressure, the so-called spiritual companionship is more unrealistic, and there will not be too much time and energy to accompany the children to grow up. In the 80s of the last century, there were far more families with poor financial resources than there are now, especially in economically underdeveloped areas. Even my parents grew up like this when they were young, and even because of the different times, their growth environment was more difficult, and they did not consciously consider the issue of spiritual companionship, and the economic foundation determines the superstructure.
And many people of that generation are like Liu Xin's parents, they don't easily say things like I love you, and they always feel that this kind of expression is too awkward and difficult to say. However, children may not continue to express themselves like this, and many children will say to their parents like Liu Xin I love you. Once when Liu Xin was about to leave home, he suddenly found that his parents were old and very sad, so he hugged his father and said to him, "I love you". Dad cried when he heard the "hmm".
There are still some parents in their 80s and 90s who are authoritative parents, and they say that one cannot tolerate their children's two. But Yang Tianzhen is more lucky, her family is another tolerant parenting model, such as whether to buy a house or not, she has a veto, and her family gives her enough trust to make decisions. She said that if she had children, she would also give her a tolerant environment to grow up, and she didn't need children to fulfill her dreams.
Speaking of the son inheriting his father's dream, Yang Tianzhen said to Liu Xin, "I think you are already very lucky." Many children in my generation are there to fill the void in their parents' hearts. With their parents, they have some ideals or lifestyles that have not been realized, and they expect their children to change their destiny through reading or other means to realize their unfulfilled wishes. Or they have already achieved success, and they want their children to continue their success. I think it's all a manifestation of the lack of heart and the lack of satisfaction. ”
Yang Tianzhen's words are simply to the point, and they very objectively depict the anxiety of tens of millions of chicken babies' parents, and it can even be said to be terrible. Many parents born in the 80s and 90s have changed their fate through reading and achieved class leapfrogging, and they very much hope that their children are as good or even better than themselves, which is the most common among parents in their 50s and 60s. For those who have not fully realized or not fully realized their dreams, under the fancy trafficking of educational anxiety, they have a strong desire for their children to change their fate, which is more common among post-00s parents. So all kinds of chicken babies emerge in endlessly.
However, the reality is that the generation is stronger than the generation from the family or the individual, in history there has not been a family has really realized, from the family to the family is like the individual like history, there are always ups and downs, how can a thousand days be good, a hundred days red. And why impose a dream that you haven't realized on your own children, children are also human beings, and they also have their own freedom and dreams. Under all the coercion, children living in this era of material life is obviously more abundant, their childhood is not necessarily happier than that of their parents or even grandparents, who are materially scarce, and in the end they may not really be as their parents wish, and may even develop in the opposite direction.
This article is original by Qing Qianzhi, and it is forbidden to reprint without the author's authorization!