Her dual personality

She talked about her thoughts with a friend who had not been in touch for some days, and that friend was a wise and comfortable girl, who, though infrequent contact, was extremely cordial, and perhaps they had something in common.

When she hears her friend's love for her child, which is about to overflow, she reflects on herself. When her child pressed her small hands and nails her face to make marks and bleed, accompanied by occasional pain, she seemed to have a dual personality. This reminded her of her own childhood, and she felt terrible, and she was about to be unable to restrain the anger that was about to erupt. She looked at the child in front of her, out of responsibility she had to take care of him, but the fierceness of his young age made her see that she was beaten when she was a child, was viciously spoken to, and later was scratched and beaten by her husband' hair, and now the child in front of her was the same to her, scratching her hair, slapping her face, scratching her face... How familiar, she looked sheepishly, angry, helpless... At this moment, she was back to the environment she had when she was a child. At that time she burned the diary she had written, dropped the bottle, and when she was alone, if there was a wound bleeding, she would have a sense of pleasure, quietly watching the bleeding, she had to suppress herself, this was her own destiny, the family had no choice, she could not blame anyone, and gradually she felt that she was too bad to encounter such a situation. But what about this child in front of you? She was angry and worried that she would not be able to take the child well, but she hoped that he would have a good future. She saw the soft side of her heart, loving, others can have empathy when they encounter bad things, and even cry, do their best to help, on the other hand, there is a hint of indifference to different things. She felt these small psychological changes, did not dare to ignore, afraid of accidentally running out and hurting the child, she said to herself that she seemed to be able to understand the psychological edges of those who committed the crime... No one has ever achieved it overnight, but it is a little bit of change and choice that accumulates to become a terrible person. I remember once the child did not listen to her words because of anger and anxiety she quickly pushed the child and fell down, but she regretted it very much, knowing that this behavior was wrong, and at the same time she realized that she had become a copy of her parents, and the thing she was most worried about happened, she kept saying sorry, she did not want the child to become a copy of her parents like herself in an infinite cycle from generation to generation, then she had to start to make changes from herself. This kind of change is like a rebirth, it is extremely difficult, maybe it is really time to abandon everything to change, otherwise the road that is easily affected is not good, and the probability of success will not be great.

A friend said to her, "Cause and effect, if all the conditions don't change, then things don't change." You can change yourself, change where you live, change your lifestyle, change your job. If one thing changes, the direction of life will change. She decided to try to change for herself and her children, although this attempt may make herself and her children constantly hurt and scarred, but how can she be cured without "surgery" until she is healed?