Many education experts have said about this issue.
Most people think that children must never lie, from an early age to educate children, to be honest whether at home or at school, everyone teaches children in this way, lying is a shameful behavior, I believe that many people have received such an education when they are young.
In order to prove the harm of lying, various stories are woven, such as the well-known "Wolf Coming" story.
But in fact, even after receiving such an education, who dares to pat my chest and say that I have never lied in my life, I am afraid that no one dares to guarantee it.
If someone says, "I've never lied," that statement is itself a lie.
Because lying is human nature, this is a mechanism of self-protection, not to mention human beings, in nature, everything has a self-preservation mechanism, otherwise, the world would not exist.
So, we don't need to be afraid of lying, but we should face it.
If you're an absolutely honest person, I'm afraid your life will be a mess, to put it bluntly, low emotional intelligence.
People with really high emotional intelligence are certainly masters of lying.
Turning over history, there are none of those bull X characters who do not lie, none of them, all of them are experts in lying and deceiving people.
Zhou Yu died, and in the Spirit Hall, Zhuge Liang cried more sadly than anyone else.
Of course, I'm not encouraging lying, but to understand when to lie and when not to lie, and to figure out the story behind the lie, that's the point.
Usually, lying has three purposes.
Protect yourself
Protect others
Hurting others (hurt is actually a kind of self-protection, because hurt can get balance and satisfaction in your heart, which is terrible)
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > protect yourself</h1>
I remember when I was in the second grade of elementary school, I scored 28 in math, so I changed the 2 on the notice to 8, and when I got home, I lied and said that I scored 88.
However, at that time, he was still young and had no experience in cheating, so he was seen through at a glance, and in the end, he was punished to kneel in front of the ancestral tablet and not be allowed to eat for a day.
In the evening, my dad asked me why I wanted to change my score, I said I was afraid you would hit me, my dad said, how much I test is how much, what do I beat you, and then no matter how well I took the test, I never changed my score.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > protect others</h1>
This is what happened to my cousin.
My cousin had a classmate, and his dad was a tyrannical man who drank a lot, and as long as he was drunk and two sentences were wrong, he would hit people.
Once, when he came home from school in the afternoon, he was far away and saw his father drinking madly, and he was very scared.
So he ran to my cousin's house and hid.
It didn't take long for his dad to come over and ask my cousin if he had seen his baby.
My cousin said he didn't see it, he didn't know where he went.
The cousin knew that if he didn't lie, he would be beaten if he was caught.
Late at night, after waking up drunk, the classmate returned home under the escort of my brother-in-law.
Lying like this is necessary.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > hurt others</h1>
I had a small hair, and I had a quarrel with a classmate in my class and formed a bond.
In order to get revenge on his classmates, this little man put his stationery box in his classmate's bag, and then told the teacher that his stationery box was missing.
Then, Fa Xiao "found it" in the classmate's bag, and at that time, the teacher criticized the classmate.
The classmate was wronged, wronged, after school, while walking and crying, suddenly, jumped into the river, if not for the adults passing by, I am afraid I will drown.
Afterwards, the parents of the classmate came to the school angrily to ask for explanations.
Under the "trial" of teachers and parents, Fa Xiao admitted his mistake.
This kind of lying is very sinister, and as a parent, it must be stopped.
It's not about stopping lying, it's about telling your children that you have a deep hatred with your classmates? Since there is not, he should not be framed by such means.
Until now, my little hair is very guilty, not because of lying and guilty, but guilt should not use this method to frame classmates.
Regarding lying, we must guide it from the front, rather than blindly teaching children, you must be honest, you must not lie.
If properly guided, in the process of growing up, it will slowly distinguish which things should be lied about and which things must not be lied.
This world is not perfect, full of dangers everywhere, if you teach your children too well-behaved, sooner or later you will suffer a big loss.
Teaching children to know nature, to think about the world, to understand the world, this is the point.