Friday's program received a phone call, the wife is a lively and lively grinning personality, originally thought that the good person he met, this life is carefree and happy, who knows that Mr. suddenly decided to return to his hometown at the age of retirement, and closed the thirty-year marriage book with the end of the two words "divorce", the reason can not say what is fatal, but the resolute attitude is the opposite of the usual quiet and accommodation, so that the wife who thought he was just a grumpy was a little caught off guard. There is a detail that I remember quite clearly, my wife chatted with me, suddenly wanted my husband to pick up the phone and open up to me, but how to persuade can not move. And it should not be just me, many people feel his "no self" in this marriage, not that he can't see himself, but he is not seen. After a long time, the injury is deep. He wanted to go back to that humble place, not because he was rich, but because he was "seen" and "needed."
Recently, there is a variety show called "Summer of the Eaves", which makes the topic of "social fear" suddenly surge on the hot list. Several elderly people suddenly poked hearts in the face of the nervousness, nervousness, longing and helplessness of interacting with people. But people's hearts seem to be poked fiercely, as if seeing them, but also foreseeing that we will one day grow old, unable to keep up with the new life, curious about young life, but in the inferiority of unable to integrate and empathize into the shell of safety, as if not going out, not socializing is a kind of self-protection, safe and appropriate.
Do you think of your parents? Friends who struggle away from home have experienced a difficult time, not the process of struggle, but with their parents to adapt and integrate in the new city. Some time ago, a friend's father had a few big fights with him, all of which were trivial matters. He didn't understand his father's suddenly deteriorating temper, but he forgot that his father had left his hometown to help him bring his children for half a year in this city with no acquaintances, and that loneliness had nowhere to talk.
I remembered a passage I once saw: "Parents, for a young man, I am afraid it is like an old house, you live in it, it shields you from the wind and rain, gives you warmth and security." But once you leave it, even if you think about it and love it, you will rarely pay attention to it and understand it. As children, we should have made a promise to honor our parents: "When I grow up, I will raise you; buy you a big house; take you on a trip; give you money to spend..." But when we grow up, we slowly find that we have become a luxury to even meet with our parents, not to mention a meticulous companionship, slow small talk... Parents are always old alone in the time when we are not paying attention, and when we find that our parents have changed, maybe the parents are already old and not like them.
They are not social fears, but in addition to our world, they can not find to accompany them to integrate into the new people, we are the bridge, the bridge is gone, they are left helplessly looking at the prosperity of the other side, wu themselves lonely.
What's the habit? Yes, but their pampering makes us free and carefree. It's the last day of October, and there's not much time left for the year.
Please, remember to go home, remember, always "see" those who regard you as life...