<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="1">01.</h1>
The poet Yu Xiuhua once said:
"I've always revealed my true self, whether I'm a "celebrity" or one day become a beggar. Because we are all too small in the whole river of life, I don't want to waste my energy telling lies or covering up the facts.
I think that the first thing a person can live a glorious life is to be frank and sincere.
Even if one day, everyone thinks I'm wrong, I can still be ashamed.
Life is short, too late to be hypocritical, too late to be hypocritical! ”
Reveal your true self and open your heart to the world.
Please answer me truthfully: Can you do it?
It's hard, isn't it?
Because we're afraid —"
Afraid of their own sad things, they are dismissively said: "This matter is also worth being sad";
Afraid of their own troubles, turn their heads and become the laughing stock of others;
Fear that their true thoughts will harm themselves to become the target of attacks by others, or hurt the hearts of others;
Fear of real shortcomings, let the ill-intentioned people grasp their handle;
Afraid of your own vulnerability and disappointing your loved ones...
In everyone's heart, there are corners that we are unwilling or dare not let others know, which may be the hurt we have suffered, the failures we do not want to face, or the stupid things we have done, and we try our best to cover up, deny or do not want to admit these facts, because of these "fears".
In order to be less hurt, we need to protect ourselves with a "pretend mask".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="100">02.</h1>
I once saw a very interesting question: "Why do so many men sit in the car after they come home and don't get down?" ”
The answers of two netizens poked the hearts of many people:
"A lot of times I don't want to get out of the car because that's a demarcation point.
Push the car door and you are chai rice oil and salt, father, son, husband, but not yourself;
In the car, a person in the car wants to be quiet, smoke a cigarette, this body belongs to himself. ”
"I didn't understand why sometimes My dad would sit in the car and stay in the car for a while after driving home, and always impatiently urge him to get out of the car." Until I learned to drive.
One night I was driving home by myself, the car stopped and turned off, rolled on the window, and then suddenly didn't want to move.
It's a fully enclosed space, perfect for being in a daze, as if opening up another world, there are a lot of things that need to be thought out and solved, and you have to face it when you open the car door. Suddenly I understood Daddy..."
Even if we are the most loved relatives, we will not reveal our true selves, we will hide our weak selves, our lonely selves, we are afraid of their disappointment, afraid of their worries.
Because we carry a lot of labels, filial piety to children, good parents, good employees... Each label carries an expectation, and for these labels to live up to their name, we dare not open up, for fear that after opening up, we will be rejected and no one will be able to accept it, including ourselves.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="103">03.</h1>
In Miyazaki's film Spirited Away, the faceless man said, "You said that no matter what I became, you would never leave me, so I took off my mask and saw you fleeing into the wilderness." ”
We are also afraid to take off the mask and see the loved one flee into the wilderness, so we give the sad past to time and put a mask on the real self.
But the mask has been worn for a long time, and we ourselves do not know what the real self looks like? What do we really want most? Where do I go from here?
Unwilling to face the painful past, they will still visit us from time to time, tear open the scars of the scabs, and make us hurt again and again.
So, let's seriously ask ourselves:
After a lifetime, but in just a few decades, are they really willing to wear a mask and hide it for a lifetime?
We are afraid of being denied, rejected, and therefore very hurt, afraid to live, to face others.
In fact, the real denial and rejection, never have anything to do with others, all the "fear" and "mask" is actually the rejection of ourselves, we feel that the real self is not perfect, feel that the real self does not deserve so much love, think that only after covering up and pretending, someone will love us.
In fact, no one will always be with you, except yourself;
Very few people will love you forever, except for yourself.
Life has been so difficult, stop harsh on yourself, demanding, criticism, give yourself spring wind and rain of love, admit your imperfection, even if it is so imperfect self, it is worth my good love.
When we are in trouble, alone, and no one can understand our pain, there is one way to support us: self-care.
Self-care is to love herself as a mother loves her child, to be kind, compassionate, joyful, and charitable.
In pain:
1. Tell yourself that it is very uncomfortable at this time;
2. Tell yourself that discomfort is part of the life experience;
3. Be kind to yourself.
Self-care is not whitewashing, wrapping difficulties, self-paralysis, but requires a lot of courage, because people who really care for themselves must face the painful wounds, recognize the true meaning of pain, and remind themselves: all people will make mistakes, all people will experience pain and setbacks, and what you do is the best choice at that time.
Just like a mother treats a wounded child, she gives herself gentle and considerate words, loving actions, and the courage to dare to face all unsatisfactory.
When we have the courage to face all the unsatisfactory, when we fall in love with our true selves, then living out our true selves is a natural thing.
The journey of life is very long, we will meet many people, a lot of things happen, love ourselves, grow ourselves, and be our true selves. For the people around you, the things around you, willing to stay, will never be lost; those who want to leave, say goodbye to him well.
To be true and honest, not so perfect self, may lose some, so what, know that there is someone who will always love me so much.
Yes, even if it is not perfect, I still love the real me.