One day it rained suddenly, and all the patients in the mental hospital rushed downstairs with washbasins, soap, and towels to take a shower, and only one person did not go down, he stood on the balcony, watching all this with disdain. The doctor secretly rejoiced and finally cured one! To further determine the results, the doctor stepped forward and asked the man, "Why don't you go down and wash with them?" The man said, "I'll wait until the water is hot before I wash it!" ”
There were too many people on the bus, it was particularly hot and very stuffy. I don't know who let go of a fart, and the environment has deteriorated even more. My friend couldn't stand it, and I didn't know who was so immoral. Just then, the conductor asked, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend exclaimed, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" Before the words could be heard, a woman held her ticket aloft and shouted, "I've bought a ticket!"
Squatting out of the toilet, my wife grabbed my phone. Wife: "You bastard, you actually seduced other women behind my back!" Me: "I... I didn't! Wife: "You fart!" First, you come out of the toilet, you don't hear the sound of flushing, indicating that you did not defecate; second, I went into the toilet and smelled, and there is no smoke, indicating that you are not secretly smoking inside; third, the first two possibilities are ruled out, leaving only one possibility of playing with the mobile phone; fourth, just before you entered the toilet, the mobile phone still has 87% of the power, and there is 84% of the power when you come out, which proves that you are not watching videos, but chatting. Two big men certainly can't talk, which proves which little girl you're seducing. I pouted and fell to my knees: "Wife, I was wrong!" ”
When I was in junior high school, I sat in the back by the window, bored in class, and peeled melon seeds there to prepare for class to eat. Peeling to the end of the class, just ready to eat, the class teacher rushed to me from the back door with an arrow step, with the speed of lightning to cover my ears and steal the bell, grabbed the melon seeds I had peeled, stuffed them into my mouth, under my surprised expression, while chewing and saying: "I am waiting outside the window for you to peel a lesson!" ”
At lunch, I found that my mother had cut her hair, which was really not good-looking. So I said, "Mom, you don't look good at your hair, find a place to cut it again." Dad looked at me and said, "Hey, please don't judge my wife casually, she doesn't live with you." Me: ...
Mom and Dad quarreled over the cold war, there was only a plate of pickles on the lunch table, they both did not move their chopsticks, I silently ate five bowls of rice on the pickles, successfully diverting their attention.
Passing by the overpass, a beggar knelt in front of me, "All right, give me something to eat." Me: "What do you want to eat?" Him: "Meat buns." Me: "You can eat it when you kneel here?" Him: "Sometimes I can. As soon as his voice dropped, I knelt down side by side next to him.
A: "What's up?" It's like losing money. B said, "What a loss of money." Yesterday's unit dividend of 5,000 yuan, let the wife find out, all gone! A: "Hide a private money, why are you so careless, didn't I teach you?" B said: "Learn from you, hide in the computer speaker, or be detected by your wife." A: "Wouldn't you?" So the secret place, how did she know? B: "She said that she saw it at a glance, and there was no ash on the speaker, so she designated it to hide it." ”