Once the heart is broken, there is a rift in the feelings
"Love is sacred and beautiful, so what is marriage?" Some say it's a harbor; some say it's a siege; some say it's a grave. "
Some time ago, I was walking in the park with a friend, and she happened to talk about her marriage, and she said: "I am very desperate about marriage now. Anyway, as long as he is good to the child, I can tolerate anything, just like this, I will not divorce him, and drag each other out for a lifetime! ”
After the friend finished saying that paragraph, he sighed a long time and continued, "When I was in love before, I felt that everything was very beautiful, and what he said was so warm; after marriage, most of what he said was very hurtful. ”
When the friend finished speaking, his face was full of helplessness. After we talked about it that day, I thought a lot. What exactly is marriage?
After many people get married, they will complain from time to time that their other half has changed, is he/she really changed? In fact, it is not completely so, many times, just ourselves in love, selective blindness, wait until after entering marriage, only to find that there is really no way to live a romantic life, talk about love, tea rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea will always cool the original heat from time to time.
In marriage, in fact, the most feared thing is not that life is poor and the days are plain, but that in the coexistence of each other, some words will consume each other's warmth and hurt people silently.
Ordinary life is like a long stream of thin water, silently supporting each other for a long time; hurtful words are like chronic poison, gradually corroding the skin of love, penetrating into the core of marriage, and eventually full of holes. In marriage, these few words must not be often hung up.
The two sides of the quarrel do not give in to each other
Think of it as you please!
One of my girl friends, who used to complain to me a lot, said that his boyfriend was usually very good to her, but the only drawback was that the opposite sex was too good, and every date he would meet his girl friends, and the boyfriend always said to her "People are guests, we have to take care of them", seeing that the boyfriend is also very careful with other girls, which makes her very insecure. She tried to talk to him a few times, trying to get his boyfriend to grasp the boundaries, but in the end the boyfriend always ended up with "Whatever you want!" "End the conversation, slam the door and go away."
"Think what you will!" The underlying meaning of this sentence is, "No matter what you think of me, I just don't change," "Whatever you think, I don't think I have a problem." "Look, what a terrible logic this is, even if you find that there is a real problem, the other party thinks that you are making a fuss for no reason.
People who often put this sentence on their lips are extremely selfish and selfish people. When it comes to falling in love, most of them are not tired of being together every day, leaving room for each other, and once they enter marriage, this sentence is simply a killer skill to consume love.
Finally, on the eve of the engagement, the two quarreled again, and finally made the friend make up his mind to leave. She said that for life after marriage, she can almost see the end. "Think what you will!" This sentence blocks your desire to communicate.
Evasive behavior is undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire for resolving contradictions
See for yourself!
We can often see in life such a type of person, the wife is busy for a thing, but the husband only cares about playing games or brushing mobile phones. If you ask the other person what to do, the other person will often say, "Look at it yourself!" ”
Sometimes, just want to talk to each other about the heart, talk about the future, such as career development, such as marriage and children, such as family trivia, he either runs away, or indifferent to ignore, if you are in a hurry, you are very impatient to throw you a sentence: "You look at it yourself!" That's all I've been for the rest of my life anyway. "I don't know if I can develop in the future, and I guess it won't change much, so you can watch and do it yourself!" "This kind of small thing, come and ask me, you can watch and do it yourself!" ......
In such a married life, he does not allow you to go to the future, nor does he make future plans; he has gone through the steps from love to marriage, and feels that the task is completed, and in the life after that, he does not take your feelings and mood seriously.
On the surface, it sounds like you are free to choose, and the decision is handed over to you, in fact, it is particularly troublesome for you, you do not want to be responsible for marriage, you love it, he expects that you will not easily file for divorce, and it does not matter how your mood is.
"You can see for yourself!" This sentence in the long married life, enough to make you hold out the internal wounds. Over time, there is no longer any willingness to communicate with them, and widowhood begins to take shape.
There is a gap between both sides
You don't care about my business!
People who often watch TV series or movies know that there are always some male and female protagonists who encounter things, do not say anything, and finally drop a sentence "You don't care about my business!" "Let the misunderstanding be bigger. Whenever you see these clips, you can kill people.
Recently, the modern legendary drama "Radiance" starring Zhang Xincheng and Cai Wenjing is being broadcast, in which Cheng Yizhi, played by Zhang Xincheng, and Wu Lizi, played by Cai Wenjing, from acquaintance to marriage to divorce, many times the heroine is a pair of "I don't care about it".
Lizzie is the one who can get married when she needs it, when it is useful, and can divorce when it is not needed, because she divorces because of guilt, and when she perceives her own heart, she wants to remarry. When they saw this, many friends shouted "so happy" when they saw Cheng Yizhi rejecting Wu Lizi.
Wu Lizi always acts alone, bent on revenge, using the identity of the male protagonist to avenge, after knowing that she is pregnant, she did not hesitate, and resolutely let the doctor induce labor for her. This series of behaviors has hurt the male protagonist.
Image source: TV series Rays
In marriage, it is often the case that "I don't care about my business!" "The person who speaks often pushes the other person farther away. This sentence is not a reassuring word, it is said too much, but it is more worrying.
The phrase is related to "Do it yourself!" "It's the opposite, but hurting people is not reduced in the slightest." To put it bluntly, the other party's affairs have nothing to do with you, and I don't want you to meddle in it. You are you, I am me, you take care of yourself, I do my own thing!
Austin once said: "A happy marriage requires not only the exchange of ideas, but also the exchange of feelings, and the separation of feelings in one's own heart also pushes one's wife out of one's own life." ”
If you have decided to stay together for the rest of your life, both men and women must learn to "communicate" in marriage. Speaking warm-hearted and thoughtful words, knowing each other's insecurities and troubles, and working together to move forward will make the married life better.
Finally, I wish you all the best in your youth and the past in your adult life. Let love and happiness continue, peace of mind, joy always be there.
I hope that the flowers will always bloom, you will often come, pay more attention to yo!
The picture comes from the Internet, invasion and deletion!
Lack of words gecko, thank you for reading and paying attention!