Now many students are learning in a state of being pushed by their parents to learn.
Every day when I return home, parents supervise to do homework in class, complete extracurricular homework, and take photos and upload them before 11 o'clock at night, every minute is fully utilized, it seems that the time utilization rate is very high, but the whole process is in the "push forward", like a raft drifting on the sea, with the push of the waves, there is no motivation of its own.
Passive learning is like a raft that goes with the flow
Of course, there are also many students in a state of extreme self-discipline: arrange their own learning plans, summarize themselves, set their own goals, and if they need parental assistance, they will take the initiative to propose.
A friend's child is such a state, every time the extracurricular class is his own choice after the parents to pay, sometimes parents see him studying for too long, will ask him to stop and go out to activities, he said: "It is not time to exercise, after this task is completed, go to exercise." ”
How did this "other person's child" come into being? I talked to several parents of the bully and found that the routines of these parents are more similar, and these routines give the parents some common characteristics.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > dare to let go: complete the goal and free time</h1>
There was a friend's child who was in the third year of high school in the attached middle school, and he said that he basically did not care about the child, and the child was more self-disciplined.
I said, "No child is born self-disciplined, how do you guide it?" ”
"When I was in elementary school, we set a rule for him: every day to complete the goal, arrange your own time, and parents do not interfere."
"What is the main goal?"
"After the completion of each day's homework, the result of the teacher's correction cannot be less than 95 points; each mid-term and final exam is not less than 95 points per course."
"What if the child doesn't have some problems?"
"Trying to figure out how to solve it myself, his mother and I are very busy, and at most we sign the homework book."
Let children become the locomotives of learning
Now parents are particularly concerned about the child's education, every problem and difficulty are eager to crush and feed the child, the result of the child formed a strong dependence, the first reaction to encounter difficulties is to find parents to help, self-exploration and problem solving ability has not been fully improved, the final result is bound to be "passive learning".
The key to changing this state of affairs is that parents gradually let go, let the child face and overcome the difficulties, and become the locomotive of learning.
Parents are more of a coach, that is, to determine goals, adhere to results, assist in moving forward, is a supporting role and helper for children's learning. The role is positioned as the tracks of the train, allowing the child to walk on the right path.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the child to sketch the target scene in his heart, the more specific the better</h1>
If you work hard around a goal, you will definitely achieve more with less, many people know this truth, but it is always wrong to practice.
Many people's understanding of the goal is ambiguous, thinking that the goal is a string of numbers, such as "the error rate is less than 5%, reading 10 pages of English newspaper, taking 10,000 steps a day" and so on. This is not a goal, this is just a quantitative indicator, it is just cold assessment data.
So what is the real goal? The real goal is a concrete, figurative vision, that is, the state you want to succeed in, and this state makes you look forward to and yearn for it, and also allows you to obtain great satisfaction and joy.
For example, after you are promoted from the twelfth place in the class to the first place in the class, the envious eyes of the students, the admiring words of the teachers, the expressions of your parents who are overjoyed, etc., this is the goal that really moves you, and the joy and pride you get in this vision is the greatest affirmation of your efforts.
For example, the applause, deafening cheers and bright lights you get after performing the violin at the class New Year's Day party, you are the focus of everyone's attention, this is the goal you really pursue, not the cold "violin level 10 certificate".
For example, you represented the school to Xi'an to participate in the robot competition and won the second prize in the country, and when you came back, you shared your success and mood on the podium, you casually used a few keywords on the blackboard to summarize your gains, and many people were encouraged by you to join the learning of robots.
Build the vision of the future that excites you the most
These specific and subtle scenes make you excited, feeling that you have to reach such a state, such a life is meaningful. At this time, your learning momentum will erupt like a volcano, no one can stop it, and whoever wants to interrupt your state will make you troubled.
This state is the state of "learning god possession", before there is a beautiful vision to pull you, after there are parents ample resources to boost you, you are like a high-speed rail EMU, full of power, the speed is far beyond the ordinary students of the green-skinned train.
For a while, I was particularly envious of my classmates, after each class, many students came to ask him questions, and I thought, "This is the standard of a good student, if I can achieve this state." "Whenever I want to sneak lazy, I think of the "future scenario" that many classmates have come to ask me questions, and I quickly get up. After about 3 months, people around my seat began to ask questions, explaining the main points to them as much as possible, and the vision was inadvertently realized.
So all you need to do is to imagine as much detail as possible the most exciting scenarios after your future success and immerse yourself in them.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > don't tell anyone about the scene you envision, it's your secret</h1>
In the I Ching, it is said that "if a king is not secret, he loses his subject, if he is not secret, he loses his body, and if he is not secret, he will be harmed." It is a gentleman who is cautious and does not come out."
If a person does not guard his secrets, then he has a high probability of failure. Similarly, a person who goes around preaching about his goal scenario is vulnerable to frustration.
For example, if you preach to others that you want to be the first in the class, then every time others meet you, they will ask, "Are you now the first place?" Maybe he just inadvertently asked about it, but it is an invisible pressure for you, and the more times you are asked, you will also doubt yourself: "For so long, I haven't once taken the first place, is it not okay for me?" ”
Once the number of setbacks in public is more, you may set a psychological barrier that can't pass: "I may be too arrogant, I may not be able to pass the first place, and I can't reach it." Forget it, don't be delusional. ”
In fact, everyone's potential is endless, as long as the speed of progress is faster than others, they can go to the front, but once they set their own upper limits and barriers, they will become fleas in the bottle and never jump out of the bottle.
Keep secrets in your heart
So once you set the most exciting and exciting vision, you keep it a secret, only experience it in your own heart, don't tell anyone, which is also the starting point of a person's personality independence.
The person with the secret is an interesting person, a person with depth, and the person without the secret is as shallow and tasteless as the boiled water in the white porcelain bowl.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > one-sentence summary</h1>
Imagine as much as possible the vision and state you want to achieve in the future, this vision is full of scenes that make you excited, proud and proud, and you alone strictly adhere to this secret scene, take it as the driving force for progress, and let your learning motivation be in a state of high-speed progress, at this time you are the god of learning in the eyes of others.
=========This column is in continuous updates===================================================================
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