Another day passed.
It is said that writers are very talented people, but it seems to me that perhaps they are all patients with terrible sensitivities, just like me, although I am not a bullshit writer at all.
I don't know how long this state of struggle with darkness will last, how long it will last. It seems to be almost tired of the days of pumping-out-de-gasing.
Now I have quarreled with my mother less and less, not only because she has been seriously ill twice, not only because she cannot be emotional, as if she has learned how to be an obedient marionette in front of her.
Looking back on the road I walked, when I just graduated, I was ordinary and confident, sunny and cheerful, but I didn't listen to my mother's words.
The job has been replaced by a stable, comfortable one, but let yourself break it with one hand. Although my mother was angry, she finally clinged to me.
Maybe the only thing I've heard my mother say is to take my driver's license.
In fact, my mother's life is much more exciting than mine, I have been dragging her feet, if the "brother" before me was born as expected, how good it would be, my mother would be much more comfortable, maybe not sick, why give birth to me this nasty ghost.
When her mother was young, she was also a good-looking girl, and her grades in the class were among the best, until that year's exam, she encountered the body tone beauty plus test. In her previous few sessions, it was cancelled in her later sessions, but she encountered it, but she was incomplete and had no three-dimensional sense. This exam delayed her life.
It is said that in that exam, she was drawing a chalk box, and how bad was her three-dimensional sense? Only a square was drawn, and none of the sides were drawn.
The results do not count these results she is the top few in the county, after counting, she card line was not admitted.
Her dream was to be a teacher, and later she got the opportunity to become a teacher, but it was not formal, but private.
So she made great efforts to turn positive, but fate once again tricked her, and the year she signed up for the exam, all the teachers were not regularized, just like the year she took the exam, which had never been the case before.
She chose to stay in that school, taught for 15 years, and finally had to leave.
Single-mindedly becoming a teacher, I did teach a batch of students, at that time everyone praised her for teaching well, in fact, it seems that she is strong, and most of the stronger in my bones is with her.
Then, my birth, so that she, who could not work, learned everything in an instant.
She made burnt cakes, followed her father to get up early and greedy; also went to feed chickens to other people's chicken farms, her hands were devastated, but she only paid 600 yuan a month; she even went to work in a factory, one hand was trapped in the machine, and finally had to transplant a piece of skin from her thigh and attach it to the back of her hand.
She herself can build a spacious house at home, and she can also accompany her father to go south and north, and the neighbors love to get together and chew on the root of their tongues, but no one says that she is not good, mentioning that she only admires.
Without me, she wouldn't have had to work so hard.
She put all her hopes of being a teacher on me, but I let her down.
She has done so much for me, how can I choose to leave for my own comfort without repaying? Do I still want to walk in the sun and learn to live optimistically and positively? After these days, maybe the darkness will not swallow me up.
I struggled hard, but I don't know how long I'll hold out. The days of struggling with another me in my body are simply too hard to overcome.