Good family style is high to abide by the first of these 4 bottom lines, the second bottom line of human nature, the third bottom line of personality, the fourth bottom line of human feelings, and the bottom line of human morality

Family style is the soul of a family and affects a child's life. It mainly includes three aspects: tutoring, home training, and family rules, and the core is "three views". The family style sounds very abstract, practical and concrete, and penetrates into the whole activity process of children's growth.

Physiological aspects, such as how to teach children to eat and wear, what etiquette to learn, why to have moderation, what kind of good habits to develop, what bad behaviors to correct, and so on.

Psychological aspects, such as how to teach children to understand society, get along with others, make friends, judge right and wrong and pros and cons, deal with confusion and contradictions, how to prevent and correct children's selfishness, domineering, loneliness, timidity, anxiety and other psychological problems, and so on.

In terms of behavior, such as how to cultivate hobbies, what skills and skills to learn, how to manage their own belongings, learning, socializing, how to teach children fire prevention, flood prevention, earthquake prevention, fraud prevention, anti-theft, how to correct children's rudeness, willfulness, extravagance, not doing homework and other bad behaviors, and so on.

In these aspects, large and small, bit by bit, all the time with the brand of home style.

Although the problem of family style is very complicated and trivial, everything must always have a rudder and a gatekeeper, and you can't do whatever you want. For the family style, this "rudder" and "gatekeeper" is the principle bottom line and the benchmark boundary, is the cornerstone of the family style, as long as it can be clear and kept the bottom line boundary, the family style will not be deviated and out of line.

People with good family style, husband and wife will work together, high standards adhere to the four bottom lines of human nature, personality, human feelings and human morality, when the child is slightly touched, the husband and wife will go up together and speak in unison, rather than one to speak, the other does not say a word, so that the child can cultivate a high-level upbringing from the parents' teaching, and lay a solid foundation for the future to become a great instrument and a big thing.

These four bottom lines of family style, which family will be involved, as long as the bottom is broken, cross the line, there will be problems.

<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the first, the bottom line of human nature</h1>

What is human nature? Human nature is the criterion that distinguishes man from animals. The bottom line of human nature, that is, the reason why people are set to be called human, rather than the basic requirements of ordinary animals, is the bottom line with the highest degree of consensus. For example, respecting and protecting the lives and ecological environment of others, treating each other as equals, loving, doing good deeds, not being cruel, abusive, and harmful, and not seeing death and not saving, insensitivity, etc.

The core of the bottom line of human nature is not to deliberately hurt people and kill people. Otherwise, whether direct or indirect, it violates the bottom line of human nature.

The bottom line of human nature seems to be very clear and rigid, but in real life, it is not so easy to control. When Li Lingzhi faints, when there is a major conflict of interest, when anger is extreme, some people's human bottom line is indifferent, and they are confused in doing things.

For example, the problem of driving, if you accidentally hit someone, everyone knows to save people, can not escape, but why do things that escape often happen? In addition, such as drunk driving, driving a gas car on the street, venting anger and tyre, throwing dirty water on the front of other people's cars on the highway, etc., knowing that it may cause car destruction and death, but some people still do it. What would the child in the car think, and what would he do when he encountered such a thing in the future?

Another example is the problem of domestic violence, we all know that it is wrong to beat people, and it is a crime to hurt people and beat people to death. However, the problem of domestic violence is also a persistent disease of society and family, and it is often seen that fists and feet are combined to abuse wives, children, the elderly, and even maim and kill people. Growing up in such a family, what kind of person the child will become in the future, everyone can imagine. According to statistics, many troubled teenagers come from families with frequent and serious domestic violence, and their future family life is often problematic.

<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the second, personality bottom line</h1>

Personality is a person's own internal position of conduct. The bottom line of personality is the basic boundary of this character position. For example, there is dignity, backbone and integrity, there are boundaries between right and wrong, fairness and decency, honest labor, thrift and thrift. Do not bend the knee, see profit and forget righteousness, do not steal, encroach, forge, do not extravagantly squander, eat and lazy, etc.

There are many contents of the personality bottom line, the core is "legitimate trade-off", as long as it is not through the legitimate (legal and reasonable) means and channels to choose, it will break through the personality bottom line.

The bottom line of personality is the same as the bottom line of human nature, which looks very clear and clear, but because the involved area is much wider than the bottom line of human nature, the standard scale of different people is relatively large, the elasticity is more, the rigidity is less, and there are still some ambiguous areas, which is much more difficult to grasp than to maintain the bottom line of human nature.

For example, the problem of taking advantage of others, such as fare evasion, asking for things from others, rubbing food and drinking, taking things from the unit, going to work to do some private work, etc., is commonplace in life, and it seems that it is not a big deal. But if you let your child know about it, or do it in front of your child, or even involve your child, how will it affect your child's personality shaping?

Another example is the gift-giving problem, such as going to a good school for the child, dividing a good class, finding a good teacher, in order to promote yourself, pick a good position, get more bonuses, etc., if it is not by hard work and grades to fight, but to take the "shortcut", by inviting guests to give gifts, pulling relationships to go through the back door to get, think about how the child will feel? If the child agrees, what kind of personality will he form?

<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the third article, the bottom line of human feelings</h1>

Human feelings are the emotional relationships between people. The human bottom line is the basic line of a person's emotional relationship with someone other than a loved one. For example, honesty, solidarity and fraternity, tolerance and support. Do not deceive and discriminate, be arbitrary and overbearing, provoke right and wrong, follow the yin and yang, fight for merit and blame, and so on.

The key to the bottom line of human feelings is to "first judge right and wrong, and then look at the pros and cons." On the contrary, it is easy to break through the bottom line of human feelings.

But in real life, human feelings are more cumbersome, complex and frequent than human nature and personality, and sometimes it is difficult to say whether it is a question of right or wrong, or a question of pros and cons, and the boundary scale is sometimes difficult to grasp.

Take the matter of receiving small gifts. If it is a normal exchange of gifts and gifts between relatives and friends, it is normal to bring gifts that are appropriate. If there is neither a violation of the law nor a delay in the work, using the position to send a smooth water person, people sincerely send a small gift, receive or not? Do not receive, although you can show that you are strict and helpful, but you are afraid that people will not give face, and it will not be beneficial in the future. Collect it, there are also many inconveniences, one is afraid that some people say that they have received gifts, very wronged; second, after receiving, people will find things to cause trouble; more importantly, helping others for fun and not trying to return is the way adults often teach children to behave. If you receive it, what will the child think when he knows it, and how to explain it to the child?

Therefore, it is still quite difficult to control the bottom line of human feelings, and the difficulty lies in how to grasp the measure of stressing rules and feelings.

Too much about the rules, it is easy to cause the impression of "six relatives do not recognize", "do not know the fireworks of the world", "hypocrisy pretends to be pure", they may really become "lonely people" without friends, and it is likely to cause children to become cold, rigid, and naïve when getting along with people, this family style really needs to be carefully considered.

Too emotional, and easy to be close to each other, gangs, rubbing the edge, and even violating the law, over time, friends may think that this person is too sleek, no scale, unreliable. That family wind is really corrupt, and it is difficult to repair it, harming yourself and even more harming children.

<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the fourth article, the bottom line of human morality</h1>

Human ethics refers to the standard scale by which people deal with blood and kinship relations. The bottom line of human ethics mainly includes: filial piety to the elders, protection of the younger generations, brotherhood and brotherhood, orderly longevity and childhood, and love between husband and wife. We must not respect the old, do not raise or educate our children, do not snub and abandon the elderly, let them be lonely and helpless, and do not eat the old, eat the young, and lose the family.

The impact of the bottom line on family style is the most direct and far-reaching. But it is very different from the first three bottom lines, the boundary width is very large, both very rigid (who abuses the elderly and children, will be spurned by everyone), but also very weak, the elastic scale is very large, many people in front of their families and relatives, the most likely to relax the scale of being a person, very casual, very tolerant, not defensive, less scruples about words and deeds, it is difficult to deal with problems rigidly. As the saying goes, "it is difficult for a clean official to cut off family chores." When children nibble on the old, steal family money, or even lose the family, and fight for family property, outsiders can comment at most twice, it is not easy to participate, and there are many concerns about the law. This makes it difficult to adhere to the bottom line of human morality.

Nevertheless, there is also a knack for adhering to the bottom line of human morality, that is, "respecting each other as guests, treating each other as yourself". If you can get along with your family and relatives with your own mentality and standards for treating guests and yourself, the bottom line of human ethics will be easy to keep, and the family style will be built.